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Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
I can only assume you have no arms, as when falling, first instinct is to use your arms to protect and steady yourself.
That thing that brushed your shoulder? It wasn't your hair; it was your dignity whispering in your ear that you should expose your stupidity to a huge community of snarky strangers.
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.