Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.
Kimienxtc 0
Awww Your dog loves you! :)
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Comments (119)
Kimienxtc 0
Awww Your dog loves you! :)
josiej0j0 0
why was the dog's butt in your mouth???
squishy01 0
And that is why I own a cat.
Jaxro 6
And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.
chrisbom5 0
maybe she was licking the dogs ass for comfort.
GrammarFailure 0
Lol'd. Hard.
evebright 5
Ditto
lolfahnny 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWN_AL9vrbc Smelling a fart is bad. Tasting and breathing it is a whole 'nother level of disgusting.
Jimboom 12
Lol. Your dog is awesome! But yea, why was his ass right in your face? At least your not feeling sorry for yourself any more.
amy397123 0
I'm sorry that you had a horrible day but this is one of the funniest FML's I have ever read. I loled so hard.
hk_fml 9
lmao xD That sucks, I hope your day got better from that point
tolduso 0
your dog's ass was in your face wtf?
tipple 0
I hope you kept you teeth closed just in case there were any lumps...
Emmett_Luver_101 0
*gags @ 11* this is funny but i have one intelligent thing to say EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW E=Mc2
shani__ 0
#12 - wtf? E=Mc2? what has that got to do with a dog's farts? #11 - LOL #10 - I agree! OP - What WAS your mouth doing on your dog's ass? That's almost as bad has hammylove's. (anyone notice their name is BadBreath, haha!) http://www.fmylife.com/sex/878433
azhein 0
I don't think her mouth was literally on the dogs ass just that it farted right in her face