Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nicola1233 0
f your dogs life
Snow_Daisy 7
gross!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
Ohmar 0
FIRST
iKaite 0
Did you sit and wait to tell people your first? Jackass.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
.
WorkThatButt 2
Ohmar I hate you you ******* piece of gassy ugly ass you stupid motherfucking piece of shit backdoor ****** asshole ugly ******* stupid ass monster I hate you and no one likes you.
Crush89 0
Is your girlfriend 11 or 12 years old?
TRJADN 0
I think its funny when people say first. And if it bothers you so much that you have to comment on it you are a loser and get a life seriously.
kayladance101 13
ik this is gross. there is a girl in my grade that eats her own boogers. shes in 8th grade. ew!
CleanSheets 0
WorkThatButt... I don't think all of that was called for o_o
Danielt104 6
Lmao he said 1sf who cares
ButtNekked 0
this Fml is more for your dog for eating boogers
DaleksAreEpic 0
Wow, number 27. 16 different insults in one sentence. I think you've set a new record.
Tripout 0
reminds me of o e if my exs. she was 16 would pick her nose rub the boogers on the wall n blame her 5 year old sister. she also ate with her hands no matter how many times I gave her spoons or forks. if ur gf is short n a lil chunky RUN OP GET THE DOG ON HER
IDOLGIRL 0
that is just NASTY--I would dump the *****
pgcheerleader 1
ur gf is effing gross dude!!!!!
HeresReality 0
uh, not an fml?
j2484 0
that ****** disgusting she's probably the onlygirl u can get and she's probably ugly as shit
Newbie21 1
why do some people care so damn much if others announce if they are 1st? maybe that makes there day......
mekarski1008 0
Girlfriend: 'Come on boy! Sit! Sit! There ya' go! *pick nose* Here you are!!' Dog: 'Idk wtf this is, but I like it!' OP: 'WTF?? Dog eat sh*t, not snot'
KASHMIR_fml 0
lmfao there's a use for errthang
kieran247 0
that was on a show
bryttkneee 0
what's the matter, jealous? no worries, there are enough bats in the cave for you and fido/rover/lassie.
Snow_Daisy 7
gross!
ladiesman14 0
is your dogs name booger by chance ?
infiniti_G 0
fail at being being funny and at life
connorpwns93 0
failed atempt at being funny
Guuurlplease 0
More of the dog's Fml
EvilPotato 14
agreed
EvilPotato 14
agreed
nicola1233 0
f your dogs life
nadsm 0
nasty.
jAa94 2
Agree with #2.
LMA0 5
Agree with #5.
Gumblebum100 0
Agree with #44
rawr_iliketacos 0
Agree with #60
Prestigex 0
Agree with #82
litecrush 0
Agree with #85
mfmylifesrsly 29
agree with #94 :D
mattf013 0
hahaha agree with #94
polico_wolf 0
Agree with #99
khung835 6
agree with #108 lol!
scorpioserpent 1
agree with #110
beachgirl199661 0
agree with #110
infiniti_G 0
Agree with #117
beachgirl199661 0
agree with #118
Qwerty86 0
Agree with #119
ohhbaaabbby 0
agree with 121 :9
captaintaco 0
totally agree with 128...
HoesInaBox 0
#129 is completely right.
galgal 0
c-c-c-combo breaker :D
CleanSheets 0
agree with #2, 5, 44, 60, 82, 85, 94, 97, 99, 108, 110, 116, 117, 118,119, 121, 128, 133, but not 135 (:
omnistryder 0
I'm a lesbian in a pig's body
DonkeyDelight 0
Agree with 144.
WhatANoob 0
I agree with 158
kyle_ftw 0
agreed with #169 lol
elizabeth_black 26
Agree with #189
Don_fml 0
That's friggin' hilarious!
ColdGold 6
I agree with #6.
Blue_Black_fml 21
NASTY! dump that bitch!! find yourself a girl who keeps her fingers out of her nose..
yakingwakko 3
Well how else are you supposed to keep your nose clean?
toeknee33 0
dmn your gf is a freak.. wat if she tried to feed you boogers during sex?
Philosophic 0
"Let's try something new." O_o
summerloolooloo 0
Oh my god that's gross. If that dog has a stomachs upset, you know who to go after.
toeknee33 0
boogers are suppose to be good for dogs tho