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Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
What I've learned from FML: If I ever find a woman's belongings, I'm better off just keeping them because the moment I try to give it back to her I'm automatically trying to rape/kill her.
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