Love: Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two...

By sweet - 26/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 345

You deserved it 5 438

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Same thing different taste

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 17:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 940

It's all Double Dutch to me

By MahmoudA - 26/02/2023 02:00

Today, I was asked to translate for a family in Arabic since I’m the only one in my office who speaks Arabic. Turns out the family is actually from Bangladesh. They speak Bengali. When I explained this to my coworker he replied, “But aren’t y’all Middle Easterns related or something?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 92

Assface

By bitches. - 15/06/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 459

You deserved it 3 446

Could be useful in the right circumstances

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/08/2023 14:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 151

By Marie - 27/07/2010 07:46 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 246

You deserved it 5 145

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 890

You deserved it 97 256

Speaking in Welsh can cause this too

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was harassed repeatedly by other passengers during my flight for speaking Arabic and sounding aggressive. I was in no way being aggressive, and I had to speak Arabic because it's the only language my mother-in-law speaks. Such a fuss was made, I did end up being questioned by TSA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 154

By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 321

You deserved it 39 879

By kaleigh - 31/05/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 801

You deserved it 10 186

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 969

sleepless15_p 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

I hate people who tell secrets in public and insult people with a different language. You should have freaked out on those assholes.

effmailyfe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

You should have made some comment about small penises. Or something...

Comments

sleepless15_p 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

I hate people who tell secrets in public and insult people with a different language. You should have freaked out on those assholes.

danyfuckinheatle 0

Monday 24 May 2010 3:01

well, at least you have nice *******.

79up 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 15:17

you shouldve said something to them in Arabic

duke56924903 11

Thursday 23 August 2012 21:39

"eh, they're not THAT nice."

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:37

I agree with 192 you should gone up to them casually and start a conversion in Arabic. Then, sit back and be amused when they get embarrassed.

effmailyfe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

You should have made some comment about small penises. Or something...

Shadowflames420 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

atleast you have nice ****!

xcowboys 0

Monday 20 June 2011 5:05

and there's the silver lining!

comebckkid14 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

I so would have told them off

lame16 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

LOL #4

soggysandwich 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

agree with #2

ohhboyy 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

should've said "thanks" in arabic & winked

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

Pffft, guys will be guys. Shoulda jus snared them a dirrrty look ha

Mydixienormous 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:05

HAHAHA!! I would defenitely agree with #4..

schizoid_fml 3

Friday 27 March 2009 0:05

they said you have nice **** you are merely classed as a butherface (butter face) take it as a half compliment

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The Top

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 132

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 540

You deserved it 13 746

Today, as I enjoyed my peaceful evening, I realized that my redneck neighbors had gone into the hills to shoot machine guns. How the almighty f**k did they get MACHINE GUNS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 185

Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 313

Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 125

Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 384

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 783

You deserved it 51 155

Same thing different taste

Mean Girls

It's all Double Dutch to me

Assface

Could be useful in the right circumstances

Speaking in Welsh can cause this too

References

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