Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tubasaurus 0
I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
velvel 7
how clever of you!
ilovechocochipz 0
hah what a genius!!!!!
My2864 1
the fact that you actually buy bottled water is a YDI itself dont ya got tap?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
this reminds me of when I tried to trap lindsay lohan using drugs, that's how I found out Lois is a chronic meth user.
zendaddy0 0
gatta pee now
AndreaHatesYou1 0
YDI you spaz. Ask your roommates to ask before taking your food and grow the **** up.
Zezing 0
yeah! who the **** is greedy over water geez.
alicexox 0
I think OP was more or less pissed of with the concept that people were taking her shit, water just being an example of one of these. Stealing is stealing, the Bible says no!
bitesize98 0
i'm sure if she wakes up and is really thirsty and all her bottled water is gone she could always settle for tap water wich she should do anyways cause bottled water is a stupid waste of money and plastic. duurrr!
dont_stop_believ 0
is that ur dog 12???
Tubasaurus 0
I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.
jchansfan 0
OMG I ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THOSE! D:
junjunbun 28
Where can I get one? Ikea? If so I'll never be able to install it. :(
Lehk 9
actually your life really would have been ****** if it worked when you went to jail for poisoning.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.
SunlightVeins 0
Did you tell your roommates what you did and why you were in the bathroom? If not, just do it again and enjoy the fact that you probably gave your innards a cleaning, lmao.
StaticDown 0
Well it sucks but it's not the end of the world, a lot of people have to take laxatives cause of an unhealthy body and not going so often, it's not gonna hurt you, it could actually help Also at least now your roomates can't blame you cause they know you got it too and why would you do that to yourself? Well you can tell them you don't know where the crap came from and they should believe you and if there's a roomate that doesn't get it then he'll most likely get the blame... Or just blame the food, I bet they wont wanna touch it again!
kravitzz1990 0
u deserved that shit!!!! instead of acting immature have you heard of talkin to them about this problem!!!! GROW UP!
dudeitsdanny 10
I FOUND THE CULPRIT! I can't tell if it worked, though. He's either this pissy, because he's constipated, or because he spent all day in the toilet.
arcades_fire 0
YDI. Not because you tried to get even but for wasting money on WATER. I'm assuming it was water bottles you are talking about. By the way, messing with laxatives can be dangerous.
ico2 2
yes, buying water is incredibly stupid. I can just about understand it if you're out, but at home? Rich and/or stupid. (and it's bad for the environment, too!)
monkey314159 0
wow, I didn't know I was rich for buying water at 13 cents a bottle. I like grabbing a bottle of water for when I make the long drive to work. Also, all tap water isn't equal.
WishfullThinker 18
Water is only 13¢ a bottle where you live?
jessamyn_it_is 0
d'oh
chellinha93 0
YDI- It's water, and I know it sucks when people get your stuff especially food, but you gotta learn how to sit and talk srsly. That was very immature and unnecessary.