Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you totally deserved it (1419)
On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by syn1734 - United States
At least you have your computer...
And maybe her virginity as well?
#1 - On 10/16/2009 at 5:09pm by allmidnighteyes
sounds like a reason to get a new bumpersticker: "I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better"
have fun ^_^
Fuckin' A! Call the cops and bitch arrested. Your dog too? Man, that's cold.
#3 - On 10/16/2009 at 5:12pm by Emperor_Jim
agree with 2 and 3, call the cops and it'll be f her life
#10 - On 10/16/2009 at 5:34pm by youreanidiot
Pretty much this. If she stole, well, get your shit back. Even if you are the world's biggest jerk, stealing your shit is not okay and is not a smart move. Her failure to know better ought to be on her head, not yours.
#62 - On 10/16/2009 at 10:11pm by pope_suburban
Agreed number 10, in a few days we'll see a FML similar to this:
"Today, I left my boyfriend, and stole his dog and his T.V. A few hours later I was arrested, now I am getting raped in prison. FML"
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
She clearly didn't want you to ruin your eyes by watching TV or get bitten by the dog. She also left because she had AIDS and she was nice enough not to have sex with you. :)
#5 - On 10/16/2009 at 5:16pm by n1rvanat1zed
Why did you waste time telling us your story when you could be on the phone with the cops?
pffft, dumbass.
#7 - On 10/16/2009 at 5:17pm by JohnFR33M4N
what do you think this site is for -.-
yeah, that's right!
telling shit-stories about each others lives..
pff... dumbass
#65 - On 10/16/2009 at 11:29pm by arniodinsson
I always wonder when i see fmls like this what the OP did. Because assuming his ex isn't just a crazy bitch (which is possible) he must have done something to warrant a such terrible break up. You don't go from "i love you" to stealing someone's stuff and breaking their heart for no reason. right??
If she isn't crazy maybe she took care of the dog and bought him the television, so they would be her's not his.
#47 - On 10/16/2009 at 8:20pm by LaceyPatrickson
Not if they lived together. Surprise at home might insinuate they live together.
#100 - On 10/17/2009 at 7:42pm by LaceyPatrickson
I can't tell you how many of us married guys look at that as a dream scenario. Except for the dog part, that would stink.
TV I can pretty much do without, except for The Daily Show and I'm a starting to really like the Big Bang Theory.
If that is a "dream scenario" to you, then get divorced. Some guys actually do care about their wives / girlfriends and don't see them as a burden.
Stop making the majority of guys sound like dicks.
#37 - On 10/16/2009 at 7:29pm by LemonadePink
Seeing that half of marriages end in divorce, guys that care about their wives/girlfriends (and I assume you don't mean simultaneously ;) ) are not the majority either.
Why are all failed relationships the fault of the men ("dicks")? And if you knew anything about the game of divorce, having her walk out and stealing your property is going to work a lot better for you than initiating the action with lame grounds like "irreconcilable differences" or "insupportability." Jeeesh!
Considering that divorces can't possibly be the fault of only guys, I'd say the divorced non-assholes + married non-assholes > divorced assholes.
If the note actually says that she took your dog, it's an admission that the dog belongs to you. It won't be difficult to prove that she took the TV as well. Call the cops. Have her retarded ass arrested.
Nice job of blaming the victim.
I'll bet you think that most rapes happen because of the way the woman dressed too.
Dumbass.
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
If a woman dresses like a whore, that's how she should be treated.
Dumbass.
Why must somebody always bring up the "women who dress slutty/rape" thing. This FML has nothing to do with that. And maybe I'm just biased, but it doesn't matter if a girl dresses like a whore, a gentleman will still treat her like a lady. That's what being a man is. Yeah, double standards suck don't they? You just have to deal with it. :P Glad I'm a girl. Oh, and you're a girl too I see...you have some issues with whores apparantly.
Obviously.
So if women dress like whores, they still deserve respect?
I don't think so. You're begging for sex if you dress like that.
I hate how men are expected to respect women even if they are bitchy, catty, or whores (most women are, sadly).
I think they do. I really do. Maybe I'm just crazy...I don't dress like that, I cover up to an insane degree but I would never treat a woman badly just because she's dressed scantily. Yeah, maybe she should dress in a different way so people won't immediatly judge her wrong but that doesn't mean they're not a good person. They can dress however they want to. Often the way a person dresses and their personality are polar opposites. Like my friend dresses gothic, all black, heavy makeup, really dramatic but she is totally sweet and caring. You are supposed to judge people by their personality and their actions which doesn't always correspond with their fashion.
How the hell does the topic of women dressing/not dressing slutty pertain to the FML in any way?
Hold back the troll food, everybody.
#29 - On 10/16/2009 at 6:33pm by allmidnighteyes
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. Sorry for the yelling but don't flame me. I said that in my first post. My weakness is whenever somebody starts a fight with me I have to finish it, no matter how irrelevant it is. I can't help myself.
I know this whole thread has gone completely off-topic, but doesn't the way someone dresses or decorates his/her body reflect his/her personality in some way?
#61 - On 10/16/2009 at 10:09pm by Jernau_Gurgeh
@19 for once i find myself agreeing with you. you shouldnt treat women like shit based on their appearance, however, if they turn out to actually be self involved bitches or treat you like shit in any way...then a change of attitude is called for.
#71 - On 10/16/2009 at 11:59pm by organisedchaos
61: At times it can be a complete predictor, others it's a clue, and others still it's a complete throw off. People can dress how they want to, or how they wished to be percieved. Those two don't always relate.
I dress very plainly, to be honest. Baggy t-shirts and jeans, no make up, no hair styling, hell I even have braces. People are always surprised when something completely screwed up or ungodly inappropriately raunchy comes out of my mouth, or when I say I love metal. Not so surprised when I say I like to read, though. So, it's a small window, but not the whole view.
Anyway about the girls dressing slutty shit. You know, I really don't approve of that stuff, but I'm not gonna spit on a girl for an unwarranted assumption.
Dressing scantily can be a trigger, though.... Those same sexy, small, tight, revealing clothes not only show off your great body, but also how you're highly unlikely to be carrying a weapon or to be able to fight off a reasonably strong person. But that doesn't ever mean she deserves to be raped. Nobody deserves to be raped. You never ASK to be taken advantage of. There are preventative measures you can take, yes, but how many of you have ever been taken advantage of in some way? How would you like it if someone said to you "Well, you deserve it for not being smart enough to [whatever]"? Depending on whatever happened, there was no way you could have known, and certainly nobody knows they're going to be raped.
#82 - On 10/17/2009 at 2:31am by DameGreyWulf
You, my dear, are a moron. Ever heard of the golden rule?
#97 - On 10/17/2009 at 6:42pm by SlapThatBitch
..."I will rape someone because I want to be raped"?
[gigglesnort]
#104 - On 10/17/2009 at 11:03pm by DameGreyWulf
WOMEN. and they think men are bad, two FML sections that must be added "mom" and "women"
#23 - On 10/16/2009 at 6:08pm by QuentinM95
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume you did something really terrible to piss her off that much.
And when I say "go out on a limb" i really mean "state the all but obvious".
it does suck that your dog is gone though
I don't think any non-criminal action on his part could have justified her response. Even if he cheated on her, I don't think she'd steal his dog and TV if she's halfway rational. OP is probably better off without her.
Well, since you're not married, that qualifies as theft (unless she paid for them).
Call the po-po on her ass, biznatch!
#26 - On 10/16/2009 at 6:19pm by Witchcraft
Can you honestly say that you were really surprised? There was no hint anywhere to you that this was coming?
Yeah because guys should always expect their girlfriend to steal their dog and tv.
#98 - On 10/17/2009 at 6:44pm by SlapThatBitch
file a police report and LOL when she gets a criminal record. it won't likely result in a significant jail term, but it pretty much assures that every job she gets from here on out will involve asking two questions "how can i help you?" and "would you like fries with that?"
SUE THAT BITCH... if you paid fully for the tv and the dog, take that shit back and then backhand her for taking it in the first place. Then light some bud and watch some cinemax and your good.
You are so wise.
Because of what this girl did, you assume all (or most) women are greedy bitches!
/applause
Some of us don't date for money and gifts, as a matter of fact - I don't particularly care about expensive things. I tend to feel guilty if a guy pays for me. I make my own money, so I pay for the things I want with my own money. I don't need anyone else's. I don't let people run all over me, but in no way do I feel a sense of entitlement or empowerment for being female.
Sorry if the only type of girl you attract is a greedy power-hungry bitch, but some of us don't appreciate being stereotyped as emotional, hormonal, crazy little cunts.
But go ahead with your idiotic views. Enjoy being single.
This is the first comment I've seen from you for a while that hasn't been a two-comment novel. What, not as passionate on this subject or something?
#72 - On 10/17/2009 at 12:03am by Witchcraft
What he's said is generally bullshit but there is a (tiny) grain of truth in it really. The issue atm in western countries is that women have (mostly) been emancipated yet men haven't yet been (for example, tell your family you want to be a stay at home dad, think they'll be as encouraging of the idea as a stay at home mom? if so, you're lucky as that's rare). A number instances sadly often see the husband as a monster and the wife as a poor victim (try and tell you a women raped you, I'm willing to bet 100 bucks its more likely you'll be convicted for raping her unless there's a huge evidance stack against her). Or in divorces, who still usually gets the kids?
As I said, rare examples but women are ins ome cases still seen as powerless victims...
I expected nothing less than the utmost stupidity from someone named "pimpin"...and boy did you deliver! BTW, the feminists never asked YOU to accept them. You didn't really have a choice. ;D
#99 - On 10/17/2009 at 6:47pm by SlapThatBitch
I'm having a good laugh at all the comments here. People talking about how women should be treated without respect if they dress slutty. Are you kidding me? The only time you treat another person with disrespect is if they disrespect you first, and even then...how would a girl dressing slutty be disrespecting you? She's still a human with feelings, emotions, etc.
I just think it's funny that these FML's come along about women doing something and all the sudden everyone is throwing around the terms "whore" and "bitch." Now, I'm a guy, and if my girlfriend ever did this to me without reasoning or warning, I'd be pissed. However, there is little to no chance that this happened without reason.
she couldnt talk to you in person to say she was leaving you?
#42 - On 10/16/2009 at 7:45pm by blackberry1993
YDI automatically for using quotations wrong in your FML. You put quotations around what the girl actually SAID. she didn't actually say "she has a surprise for me for when I got home" or else she'd be talking about herself in the third person and it wouldn't make any sense. Also, way to use inconsistent verb tenses. Learn english and then maybe I'll care if you life is fucked or not.
.............................................
Shut the fuck up.
#55 - On 10/16/2009 at 9:28pm by Poke_my_mon
Exactly what I thought when I read it. Maybe without the all the distractions OP will have time to read some books and get a grasp on grammar.
Before you call the cops on her, send her a message saying, "You stole my tv?" and then if she answers in the affirmative you have an admission of guilt for the tv as well. Better to go with evidence than not.
#51 - On 10/16/2009 at 8:42pm by brokenboxofammo
you don't know where she lives or some shit? get the cops on her ass.
#54 - On 10/16/2009 at 9:25pm by Subjectzero
Don't just sit there on FML-call the cops. if you'd rather go online than look for your dog, you must not care about him very much.
She was more intimate with your dog then you. Have you checked the rest of your house to see that anything else is missing?
#59 - On 10/16/2009 at 10:02pm by crazy20164
What… a… silly goose. seriously. that shit is illegal! report her
#69 - On 10/16/2009 at 11:50pm by michaelcarell
It's time for you to move on from your old dog. Perhaps he has served you well over the years, but what's lost is lost, and there is no use in losing weeks of sleep over this. Make a commemorative plaque, put it over your fireplace.
Get a cat, and love him for years to come. Your ex-girlfriend will have gotten married and happily cares for 5 children. Soon, your cat will die, and you then realize the futility of life and relationships, diminishing your will to live. Sitting on your sofa in the poorly-lit room, staring at your fireplace, you know in your hear that you will be alone.. forever.
Shes a bitch but damn............. SHE TOOK YOUR DOG!!!!!!
#77 - On 10/17/2009 at 12:42am by bballboy91
well, if it IS your dog and not a dog you bought together, call and report the theft. that's down right cold. a tv, yeah, you can replace and it sucks, but is survivable. if it is the dog on the otherhand, that's harsh, and damn near impossible to replace.
Well, did you make sure to give her a little surprise of your own in return? She's your girlfriend, if you don't know enough about her to plan a good revenge, or at least get your stuff back, YDI.
#85 - On 10/17/2009 at 2:59am by RHOPKINS13
Aw! That sucks, she's a bitch.. FYL
You should go to the cops or something, because she stole your dog and your tv!
id beat the shit outta her if she took my dog, not so much my t.v., i can buy another 1, but my dog?!?! that bnitch askin to be slapped
call the cops! if you REALLY want to do something yourself; find her, punch her in the face, and then take your stuff back. OH, and key her car or something.
#95 - On 10/17/2009 at 3:52pm by canadian1192
God damn, that's cold.
All hail the true masters (or, rather, mistresses) of deception.
#103 - On 10/17/2009 at 10:00pm by Ultimate_Cynic
why would she do that to you? thats cold.....................did you do anything to have caused her to do such a thing?
#109 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:16pm by bad_luck_champ
If I were you, either I would call the cops, or, I would find the bitch, stab her in the face, call the cops, and tell them that she committed suicide. Thats just me.
#110 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:56pm by Ruin11thHour
My ex did this to me -- only, he took my diamond jewelry as well as electronics. I made a police report, and they went and asked him about it. He told them he did not take any of my stuff, and since I didn't actually witness the theft, it's a he said / she said situation. So they can't do anything about it unless he tries to pawn something. His best friend fences stolen property as a side job, so I don't expect to see my things again any time soon...
you should call the cops. no one has the right to steal your dog and your tv if you paid for it. Not even your ex-girlfriend
#113 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:38am by scriptswap
So fake, I'm astonished that anybody believed it? Don't you think anyone who's not mentally retarded would know that? :-/ And it wasn't even that good of a Fake FML. (FFML)
#115 - On 10/20/2009 at 7:19pm by articulate_sob
