Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33661) - you totally deserved it (15789)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by poop (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
(0)i just think that's gross (:
and you wouldn't be laughing if it happened to you (:
#16 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:34pm by _babyxdoll
(+2)well, i guess you did make it as realistic as possible
#89 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm by bugmenotmofo
(+1)It's funnier the other way around...
Today, I had the role of doctor in a play who was helping a woman who had gone into labor. Trying to make it look realistic, she ends up shitting all over me. FML
#132 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:26pm by Nicholas241
(0)Well this gives a whole new meaning to "Oh, shit!"
#156 - On 03/04/2010 at 4:24pm by Bullet4MyChemaMo
(+5)ahaha, I see what you did there ;) Anyway, I wouldn't know but don't women giving birth shit themselves anyway? So I guess it was VERY realistic! Props to you for going all out :D
#73 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:36pm by Sun_Kissed18
(0)yeah my friend was a mess when she gave birth. she not only shit herself but popped all the blood vessles in her face!!!!! no lie
#161 - On 07/25/2010 at 8:38pm by hellokittywhore
(-1)Ohmigosh!
that's so gross!
lmao
feel bad for u OP
must've been humiliating.
did it like, come all the way out?
could u see it?
eeeewww!!!
so nasty if u were wearing a dress and it came out of ur undies and everyone saw!!!
Fyl OP
Ftl of all the other actors and anyone who say what came out of u
(or just smelt it)
hahaha
#77 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:59pm by oh_mi_shizzle
(0)Who said she was giving birth to a doctor? They were referring to the doctor witnessing (or whatever the term for helping with the delivery is).
#97 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:13am by AAAAHHHH12
(0)I'm utterly confused with how Zeal came to that conclusion. :/
#101 - On 10/12/2009 at 1:42am by Witchcraft
(0)lmao!!! Idk either, but giving birth to a doctor sounds horrible! I think if you were giving birth to a doctor.. your best bet would be to wear a dress... or go nude. :]
#144 - On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm by PinayTohDoh
(0)Fake? You wouldn't have to have tensed your anal muscles to give birth, or make it look like you were. Really, that'd just be un-needed.
#8 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:20pm by HappyCatIsHappy
(+2)Actually in real child birth most of the time the woman does have a bowel movement after childbirth, yes it was a little too much that she was faking childbirth and actually pooped, but in real child birth, it happens more times than not.
#15 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:34pm by frecklessobe
Well said, #15.
Also, not all actors are immune to stage fright. Maybe OP had been nervous and her body was already fired up for a bowel movement. :/
Still, sucks for OP...and the other actors.
#41 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:41pm by SimplyLaurel
(+1)Agreed. I was going to say that that makes it quite realistic, since most women in labor crap themselves.
(+5)Even if you were first, it's still annoying when people say it. We can read. We have the ability know if you're first or not. No need to tell us.
#12 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:29pm by XHakudatsuX
(+2)Thank you, #12. You speak the truth.
Also, #9, I still feel like mentioning that you fail.
So, #9, you fail.
#21 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:47pm by Witchcraft
(+2)Doesn't that make it just a little bit realistic, although it's really gross? I've heard some women do shit while giving birth. My mom's friend did I think. Or my mom's friend said she almost did. Something like that. But I don't know. That's really gross though, FYL.
#11 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:27pm by OhhxGoshhxAri
(0)hahahahahahahaa unfortunate
at least it made it more realistic
#18 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:40pm by rosierosierosie
(+1)When you felt crap start to slide out, you should have clenched your ass. :]
So did it fall out onto the stage, or did you just finish the play/wait until intermission/wait until costume change to shake it into the toilet?
Or... >.>
Did you sit on it?
#19 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:41pm by Witchcraft
(0)wow, I feel like my name should be devillover, or darkchyld, or something really weird to reply to these two comments, lol.
sorry, Im a smart ass
but i seriously lol'd at this one
epicness:)
(0)Lol,damn, u still kinda did, cuz i heard that could actually happen when a person gives birth
#23 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:49pm by Christina21
(0)ydi... you had to have at least known the possibility of that happening. i would have rather been remembered as the worst actor than been remembered as the actor who crapped herself onstage.
#25 - On 10/11/2009 at 2:53pm by xoxcinderellaxox
(0)25-the OP is a girl, not a boy
OP-that sucks, but at least it wuz realistic-people do crap when giving birth sometimes.
(+1)that would be why #25 referred to the OP as "herself". Actor is a unisex word.
#104 - On 10/12/2009 at 2:02am by theatregrl2
(0)Hahaha, that's disgusting. Hopefully that was the last scene you had to do so you could just leave.
#30 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:06pm by sephirothyeti
(+1)hahaha maybe you should have practiced as realistically as possible, cause that is sick, FYL indeed!
#35 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:15pm by KarasuFyre
(0)i wonder what'll happen if you ever actually do give birth... the doctor will be in for a nice surprise ;)
(0)they should have put those little playdough things there. you know the star, strings, etc. i heard sime dictors do that.
#40 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:30pm by ladiesman14
(0)Oh, Plexi-poo, you're classic.
You're right, though, I think I can smell her through my internet connection.
#83 - On 10/11/2009 at 8:55pm by Witchcraft
(0)That's the last time they give you a starring role in the Nativity!
#45 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:50pm by Turnip_Girl
(+3)Unless they give you an enema before you get on the table, you will shit yourself in real life labor.
People don't generally talk about it, but everyone who has given birth knows about it.
#47 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:52pm by alwaysalady
If you crapped yourself, that's pretty authentic. just like 47 said, I have not given birth, but know the ugly side of having a baby.
So congrats on your method acting, you should make it well in theatre!
#48 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:56pm by Sam_Licker81
(0)Why the hell would you actually push and put that strain on yourself instead of just making a pained face? Shitting yourself onstage, however disgusting, was the least of your worries as you could have caused actual physical damage.
Fucking idiot. YDI.
#50 - On 10/11/2009 at 3:58pm by Nakedsquirrel
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Fifty-eighth!
#58 - On 10/11/2009 at 4:26pm by aaaaa2p
(0)yeah lots of women poop while having a baby. my mom told me was scared that she might when she had my sister. but she didnt. its the luck of the draw.
#67 - On 10/11/2009 at 5:37pm by epicwinmaster
(0)shoulda prairie dogged it.
either that or worn a diaper. apparently intense acting makes the shit hit the fan.
#68 - On 10/11/2009 at 5:40pm by beachy__keen
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
why cant you people crap before you do something important.. e.g. child birth or pretend child birth.. I swear to god i haven't crapped my self since i was in nappies! god sorry to be a bitch i really am but if you crap your self your retarded... simple.. plan... done...(unless obviously its medical issue)
(+2)Well once you're in labour, you can't exactly go to the bathroom. And even if you go to the bathroom beforehand, the hormones make you need to poop even more. It happens to most women during childbirth, so STFU and stop being a bitch.
OP probably should have pooped beforehand, but whatever. Shit happens.
#74 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:38pm by onlysoph
(+2)Really? You think women can really think about taking a crap when they're lying on a hospital bed in pain from contractions, and a baby trying to make its way out their vag?
Think before you decide to make embarrassing comments.
#84 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:02pm by Witchcraft
(+2)#71, don't go calling people retarded when you fail at easy grammar. "You're retarded" not "your retarded"
#105 - On 10/12/2009 at 2:06am by theatregrl2
(0)omg i was lmfao when i read this omg so sad for u but funny to everyone else
#76 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:49pm by jhon316
(0)How can you not see that coming? You deserve it! You must be really really stupid.
#78 - On 10/11/2009 at 7:14pm by i_stay_anonymous
(0)HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And the screenname is just ''poop''
hahahaha
#85 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:05pm by shuttuplily
(0)ahhh finally, a funny fml! of course it wasn't funny for you. sorry that happened though.
#87 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:16pm by doodles88
(0)were you giving birth to George Bush in the play by any chance?
#91 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:56pm by CheckYourPockes
(0)Haha. I love yourr comment, beacause obama is black just like the poo, ahaha :)
#98 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:14am by neon_shoes
(0)hmmm i call BS. is there a video of this play? sounds like something my lil bro would make up just to have something on FML
#92 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:10pm by fuzzy_wuzzy
(0)yupyup. a high percentage of women accidently poop while in labor. thank god i didn't.
#93 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:32pm by koneko12984
(+1)I told you you should have gotten that abortion. Now all the other parents are going to think you're a horrible mother for not wanting to kiss your kid. Not to mention how redundant changing his diaper will be.
(0)Hmm...
I'm trying to imagine how an abortion would play out in this situation.
Not very clean, I'd think.
I'm picturing a poo-covered clothes hanger, unfortunately. D:
Not that I'm under the impression that any abortion is clean.
#109 - On 10/12/2009 at 3:10am by Witchcraft
(0)hahahaha its too realistic
well, i feel srry for your pretend doctor and nurse.
#112 - On 10/12/2009 at 6:28am by 22jrdn55
(0)I'm so confused...everyone seems to be jumping to defend this person because women in LABOR shit themselves sometimes...she wasn't in labor! This was a play... Shitting yourself while pretending to give birth is NOT justified. Seriously...wtf?
#113 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:30am by AshleyBThaMilf
(+1)labour - canadian
labor - american
it all depends on where the person is from.
#118 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:44pm by ekralc_ssly
(0)fyl seriously. but I had a good laugh at this thanks!
#116 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:34pm by Ladypartslegit
(0)I call fake.
That, or you take your acting way too seriously - no one in their right mind would actually lose control of their bowels on stage from purposely "pushing".
I realize that having an actual baby could result in bowel movement, but she was clearly (as she stated) acting.
That is just embarrassing.
Funny, but embarrassing.
And fake.
#117 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:43pm by ekralc_ssly
(0)WOW DUMBASS. YOU TOTALLY deserve it!!!! HAHAHHAHAH. You could've just contorted your face and grunted loudly and screamed... WHY would you actually "PUSH!!!!!!!"!?!?! haahahhaha idiot
#119 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:57pm by noshitsherlock
(0)Seeing as most women do shit during childbirth, I guess you really did make it as real as possible, eh?
(0)lmfao i bet you were "pooped" after that one. badda bing!
(btw this was so funny, i made an account just to comment on this lmao)
(0)a little too realistic, eh? I guess a lot of people here dont know how common it is to accidently push out shit while trying to push out a baby. what else do you expect? giving birth isnt easy.
(0)That is the funniest shit i have ever heard HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i would never show my face again
#130 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:56pm by Sterlobrooother
(0)XD NICE! As an actress I can not see why the hell you shit yourself on stage but as a caring person I hope the audience didn't shit themselves laughing! FYL
(0)what the fuck.
what play would demand a woman to pretend to give birth onstage?
answer: no play
FAKE:P
(0)Are you retarded or just an incredibly ham-fisted troll?
ANYTHING can be written into a play, moron.
(0)Oh my God. I laughed so hard. I hope this isn't fake, because this shit is too funny.
#134 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:05am by LadyV
(0)well it was realistic seeing as most women do poo during birth
#137 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:47am by D4rkSh0gun
(0)Sounds like a shitty situation
Yeah, that was lame. Ah well. I tried..
#139 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:46pm by Wildcat67
(0)Sounds like a shitty situation
Yeah, that was lame. Ah well. I tried..
#140 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:49pm by Wildcat67
(0)Sounds like a shitty situation
Yeah, that was lame. Ah well. I tried..
#141 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:58pm by Wildcat67
(0)Sexy. I'm sure everyone remembered that play haha
#145 - On 11/03/2009 at 10:19am by childofadelphia
(0)Thanks guys ;) I'm the one who submitted this, I made an account afterwards jjust to reply to all of your comments. Yes, it was embarressing, thats why its on FML. I never though my most embarressing moment of all time could get so many "LOLS" and "LMFAO" Makes me feel like a celebrity to know all you awsome FML'ers are reading my FML and getting good laughs out of it :')
Jess
(aka Poop)
x x x
#152 - On 01/16/2010 at 3:04am by oxjessiiox
(0)sometimes the mods put a badge next to the OP's comment.
Either they forgot any you are the OP. If so thanks for replying to your FML.
or you're not the OP which is wierd
(0)To be fair... that does make it horribly realistic.
#155 - On 03/01/2010 at 10:08pm by Spooky_Variety
