Miscellaneous: Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to...

By mnavy - 28/09/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 5 051

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Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 792

You deserved it 345

You tried

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 00:01 - Australia

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 414

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 525

You deserved it 4 937

By coolchicka05 - 06/10/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 892

You deserved it 9 763

By h0308 - 08/09/2009 09:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 704

You deserved it 4 599

By FedExMan - 11/08/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 708

You deserved it 2 621

By herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 178

You deserved it 1 967

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 287

Stylish

By boo - 27/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 845

You deserved it 7 419

By CMANIA - 07/09/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 024

You deserved it 6 625

aback 4

Monday 28 September 2009 20:04

My guess is you won't pass inspection. I'm subbing for Capt. Obvious on the Psychic Hotline today.

birds_fml 7

Monday 28 September 2009 20:07

Man... I hope you've got a Tide stain pen LOL!

Comments

Snoopy50210 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:51

first!

Reyo 2

Monday 28 September 2009 21:16

If the inspector has any sort of manhood in him, he'll understand completely. When a hot chick is in trouble, are you meant to do NOTHING?

Starchild21 3

Monday 28 September 2009 21:46

No this is bullshit dude. Your Chief will be able to work it out with you unless he's a prick. And why are you in Dress Whites? All inspections that started from mid September now involve the Winter Blues. I actually stood too close to the urinal before in my Whites, had yellow dots everywhere hahaha ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

youreanidiot 0

Monday 28 September 2009 21:49

Hey Starchild, it changes over at different times depending on the location... Warmer places can still be in whites. Anyway, FYL

Starchild21 3

Monday 28 September 2009 21:55

It says New Jersey. I'm in DC. My friends are in Norfolk and Pensacola. The East Coast has shifted to Dress Blues when it comes to inspections, and official uniform turnover is October 5th. _______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:08

Starchild, fyi FMLs are never really "today". Most of the time, it's stuff that happened weeks or even months ago. We've had OPs of other FMLs that commented to tell us that it was actually stuff from years before. So it's unlikely he's in his dress whites "now". This probably happened a while ago, and he simply thought of submitting it to the site recently.

Starchild21 3

Monday 28 September 2009 23:46

Ah good point good point. Forgot about that. _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

troyboyd05 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:26

I'm just amazed Starchild knew that. I've never even heard of that!

fsxman1 11

Sunday 4 April 2010 9:50

it's the navy they don't give a shit

MiGman 5

Wednesday 14 July 2010 20:56

#24 I've seen some crazy ass inspection parties and they do not take any excuse for something that's out of place on a uniform

MiddleChild08 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:52

You had to have known vomit was a possibility when you realized she was sick...YDI.

MiddleChild08 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:59

She could have, but then he wouldn't have had anything to post...and he wouldn't have had a funny story. No one ever hears stories about people who DIDN'T get puked on.

Ughsucks 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:02

You just responded to your own comment you fucktard.

MiddleChild08 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:05

No, asshole, I was responding to the comment under mine. Way to go...

Starchild21 3

Monday 28 September 2009 22:53

lmao wow ughsucks is retarded as hell _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

allysonnn 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:54

oo...that sucks

MiddleChild08 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:57

She could have, but then he wouldn't have had anything to post...and it wouldn't have been a good story. No one ever hears stories about people who didn't get puked on.