Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5535) - you totally deserved it (45379)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
You should have seen it coming...never develop habits like that. This will probably teach you not to...
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Hey look at me, I'm near the top even though I'm not number 2, cool beans.
if u only breathed in it then u wouldnt of had that stuff on ur face...u would of had to breath IT IN to have that all on u n in ur mouth...
either u worded this wrong, u dont kno wat ur saying, or its fake.
either way YDI 4 any part of that.
#37 - On 09/24/2009 at 10:22am by inconvienentgurl
WHOA! I just realized something, about 7 hours after I posted this...that I was first. I know this will be deleted, I just wanna savor the moment you know? Cuz ive gotten like 12th before, and I got 4th on something else today, but I mean wow, first.
If life had GamerScore, this would be a 50G Achievment.
[50G - Woke up before 6 and managed to get first reply on an FML post]
and I guess it'd be a double because I'd end up getting:
[25G - Realizing you probably won't be part of the 58% of Juniors who have had sex]
Oh well. “Hope is a desire with an expectation of accomplishment.” These are my accomplishments. The rare and the few things a broken man can hope for, but one day we'll drink to this and laugh. Laugh well, and wholeheartedly.
Favorited. That's just great. I'm thinking YDI, but there's such a strong element of FYL in this, so I feel for you.
#4 - On 09/24/2009 at 6:14am by Intoxicunt
it says he was blowing in the bag then breasthing it in... read the fml...
and this was supposed to reply to another comment
#50 - On 09/24/2009 at 3:49pm by leisl14
You just brought a whole new meaning to getting shitfaced.
#6 - On 09/24/2009 at 6:17am by allmidnighteyes
Win.
I don't want to speak too soon, but the comments appear to be doing better.
#7 - On 09/24/2009 at 6:18am by Intoxicunt
I agree!
And the comments have been fixed, you're right!
Some technical issues that I pretend to understand by nodding my head and going "hmmm, yep" ;-)
agreed. wtf were u thinking? i could see if you blew in it to open it up as your dog pooped, but if you don't need to use a new bag, why the hell were you breathing in it?!?!
#67 - On 09/25/2009 at 9:01pm by heyyou1203
That's one way to break a habit.
Although, I'm trying to figure out how you 'absent-mindedly' lifted the bag back up to your mouth without noticing the added weight, let alone the smell.
It's like people who bite their nails.
Even if they know they were just doing something gross or unsanitary with their hands, they just absent mindedly bite.
I speak from experience. /:
#46 - On 09/24/2009 at 3:30pm by hothotheat_
#6 ftfw!!! lol I've done that before it's not a good exprience....lol
#11 - On 09/24/2009 at 6:56am by Xx_f_us_all
I don't know... that's definitely one wag to introduce yourself to new people...
#70 - On 02/06/2010 at 10:34am by Philosophic
Question: If you were blowing INTO the bag, how did the poop end up in your mouth and on your face? Did you suck it in before trying to blow the bag up? I'm confused....=/
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Idiot. And YDI for having pets. Get rid of the little bitches already.
What the hell kind of habit is that to have?
"I absent-mindedly stuck a bag of shit into my face. Pity me!"
#21 - On 09/24/2009 at 8:02am by Poke_my_mon
wats wif so many recent FMLs using terms like "blow" and "blowing"? now everytime i see those words im going to remember two things: intoxicunt's birthday candlestick blowing experience and some guy blowing dog poo in his face.
#66 - On 09/25/2009 at 7:26pm by FuckMyLyphe
No... there is actually something VERY wrong with that... *gag*
#31 - On 09/24/2009 at 9:59am by MrVulgaris
ahhhhhh gross
not what I want to read first thing in the morning
#30 - On 09/24/2009 at 9:46am by mmmmallory
Surely this has to be fake because nobody is stupid enough to mistake an empty bag with one weighted down by dog shit.
So you got shitfaced while walking the dogs? What were you drinking?!
#34 - On 09/24/2009 at 10:08am by Triumvirate
omgg luckkyy that sounds delicous rightt now. ahh I needd someee!
#35 - On 09/24/2009 at 10:14am by pheww
Who doesn't tie the poop bag shut after you use it? Are you going to some how re-use it in the future? GROSS and FAKE.
it must of been really liquid poopies and not solid log to splash up to your potty mouth
#41 - On 09/24/2009 at 11:29am by Einstein714
A little ficklephilia in the morning is a great way to start the day. Now get back to eating your breakfast!
#42 - On 09/24/2009 at 12:05pm by donkey_hang_down
I would love to know why you absent-mindedly put a bag of dog shit up to your face. Anyone with any instincts would hold that shit far far away. YOU GOT SHIT ALL OVER YOUR FACE! and ydi.
HAHAHAHA YOUR SUCH AND IDIOT , PLUS WHY DO PEOPLE PICK UP THERE DOG SHIT I LET MINE SHIT WHEREVER AND I DONT PICK IT UP
#44 - On 09/24/2009 at 2:07pm by yoursodumb
"your such and idiot"
My such what? And my idiot?
DAMMIT MAN, YOU'RE CONFUSING ME AND MY IDIOT!
#45 - On 09/24/2009 at 2:44pm by SusanaSaysRawrxD
He might have been beating himself over the head with his keyboard. It would explain his stupidity and why his caps lock is on.
#48 - On 09/24/2009 at 3:34pm by Witchcraft
i like how your user name is spelled wrong. you should change it to "i'msodumb"
#49 - On 09/24/2009 at 3:47pm by leisl14
This reeks of fakeness. First, who doesn't tie the bag of poo shut after it has contents in it? Second, you'd really have to be sucking in on that thing to get it all over your face an in your mouth..not to mention have no sense of smell.
This is so fake. If you breathed in and out of the bag the crap wouldnt have splattered in youre face
HA HA you can't fool me I know what you were doing. You were trying to get high from sniffing shit weren't you?
this is too fucked up to be real,I call it as I read it. fakeeeee.
#63 - On 09/25/2009 at 4:35am by MandieHart
Either your the most moronic person who ever lived or a liar. I go with both. That or gravity shifted for that brief second in time and "blowing" in a bag somehow turned in to "sucking" in a bag...?
#64 - On 09/25/2009 at 2:13pm by littlegirl12
So, word of advice. When your cleaning your ears in the morning, stop the cue tip when theres resistant. Don't keep pushing you dumb f*ck!
