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Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

#4299529 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (10606) - you totally deserved it (27532)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

More FMLs?

Anonymous's life also sucks

TextLoser also deserved it

Comments

This comment has been moderated.

#1 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:50am by monsterhospital

This comment has been moderated.

#9 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:55am by Slicklizard

(0)

It's all relative.

Not having condoms when you ought to have one, when spending the night with a girl, to me is 100% FML - Having your mother asking you in front of your brother's cute mates not to flush your used tampons, isn't one at all. Yet they are all over the place simply because a teenage girl will find it horrible while other more mature readers will not.

Most readers here seem to be teenagers (which isn't anything bad, but simply affects most FMLs that make it through). You could tell when the Jackass guys selected them for example as they were a bit more 'crude'.

#25 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:14am by d101

(-2)

its called improvising . . . . . . there isnt just one hole. Think about it thats why i dont consider this a FML

#26 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:16am by Unregistered

(+1)

Bit rough to use "he could stick his d1ck in another hole" as a reason as to why this isn't an FML.....

"Not an FML, he could have just wanked off on the hotel room carpet".. .. ..

#35 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:24am by d101

(+1)

true, but of the 3... only one tends to be mutually pleasurable.. the other two are either a typically a favor, a loving gesture, or exchanged for money. It does not appear that any would apply here

#48 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:32am by spoo

(0)

hey you cant make an omlette without breaking some eggs

#53 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:35am by Unregistered

(0)

So thinking that this is a quality FML means that you are more mature than other posters? I happen to disagree.

OP- You're an idiot for leaving your sexual well-being 100% in the hands of someone else. You deserve this, and more, until you learn better.

#55 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:40am by lmmmr

(+1)

you can still spread an STD with anal

maybe he has herpes or something and doesnt want to give her it

#68 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:46am by yawneall

(0)

I agree with #25 that different people will have different perceptions of different FMLs.

Why you went all the way from Texas to Colorado seems incredibly stupid to me. YDI for feeling you had to travel all that distance just to get fucked by your friend.

Oh, and your friend is a retard for forgetting condoms. If you're planning a night of sex, unless you're some sex toy fetishist, then there's not really much you need to take.

#74 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:53am by divineinstrument

(0)

PPL PLZ NOTE - OP REFFERS TO THE "OTHER" PERSON AS MALE

#118 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:13pm by spoo

(+5)

I said what what, in the butt.

You wanna do in mah butt?

In mah butt?

#121 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:25pm by Finnboghi

(0)

this is not the guy's fml.
this is the woman he was supposed to be having sex with's fml.
try rereading it now.

#124 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:34pm by missmeliss0309

(-8)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Let him stick it up your ass then prude bitch

#136 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:57pm by kingofstuff

(+1)

A girl who doesn't want to do anal isn't a prude. She's normal.

#139 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:02pm by Chfanfiction

(+1)

If he is just a "friend" and not a boyfriend, shouldn't playing cards be more appropriate anyway? FYL for being forced to be respectable.

#148 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:34pm by Phillay632

(+1)

To say it's normal to not want to do anal is wrong, because that means all the girls who do do anal are in someway abnormal, which isn't true at all.

#155 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:49pm by Poke_my_mon

(0)

Friend with benifits...

#160 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:02pm by bambii101

(0)

a "friend"?

ur probably better off with playin cards since ur not in a relationship

#169 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:19pm by ShannonBananan76

(-6)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

youre a fucking dumbass just pull out before you cum

#190 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:48pm by crazycelt72

(-3)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Exactly! Some people drastically redefined the meaning of friends. YDI for trying to change the nature of life. It's either she's your friend, girlfriend, or whore. YDI for also not knowing how to have sex without a condom. It's not rocket science, Sherlock.

#200 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:39pm by Kiwi_Splash

(+1)

Pulling out doesn't work, dumbass, I thought everyone knew that. You can still get pregnant/STDs even if you pull out.

#214 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:23pm by happylittleman

(0)

ever heard of an std?

#221 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:46pm by lolololcheese

(0)

#148 I would think it depends on if they are friends with benefits... Friends can still have sex without an emotional hangover

#230 - On 08/06/2009 at 12:23am by LadyLynne

(-3)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

you know you can pull out before you cum works just as well as a condom

#239 - On 08/06/2009 at 5:58am by voodootrucker

(+1)

Awww, haha. That's actually kind of sweet to me.

#2 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:51am by diemoelol

(0)

Condoms aren't only for birth control, they're also for STD protection, which this person may be concerned about since she (or he) didn't say boyfriend, just friend. You can still get an STD with oral sex. Doesn't rule out mutual masturbation, but hey, whatever.

Also, to the OP... it's not just HIS job to bring the condoms! You are perfectly capable of bringing condoms as well, so it's just as much your fault as his.

#95 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:02pm by birds

(0)

I find this whole FML hard to believe. I think this is a fake.

If OP needed to go all the way to Colorado to get fucked then who is that 'friend'?
Your brother?
Cousin?
That hideous monster from the big, black lagoon?

And also, No Wal-Marts opened 24/7 in Colorado!? Anywhere?

#141 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:22pm by xTIGERxLILYx

(0)

Every Wal-Mart in Colorado is open 24/7......

Plus there is 7-11 too and a lot of grocery stores even stay open 24 hours a day. Clearly they didn't travel too far in search of condoms.....

#183 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:31pm by tvspeedy07

(0)

Don't forget about gas stations too. They always sell small boxes of condoms.

#189 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:15pm by RuralNinja

(+1)

Never seen a gas station sell condoms, personally.

But... seriously... why did they go all the way to Colorado just to have sex? And why "friend"? Why didn't you get condoms, too?
And, STD alert without the condoms, yeah, but there are ways to have fun without sticking a dick in you somewhere. I know this and I'm a virgin. You, OP, are just sad, sad, sad.

Unless you actually went to Colorado to enjoy a good WEEKEND together, not a single night, then, okay, no big deal, you two had fun playing cards, yeah?

OP are you male or female, by chance? For some reason, the complete mystery gender + "friend" screams gay to me . Don't be afraid to say so, it's the Internet...

#269 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:30pm by DameGreyWulf

(-12)

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Cling wrap is a good substitute. And you can't get pregnant if you're standing up or if it's your first time!

#3 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:52am by mifo

(+1)

uuhhhhh . . . wrong.

#5 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:52am by novellover63

(+1)

Wow man thanks for that. You've really opened my eyes.

#7 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:54am by mifo

(-2)

yeahh... dont listen to this, i found out thats bullshit the hard way (well not that hard for me but for the chick)

And i agree, whats wrong with a bit of oral/hand relief/bum hole ;)

#54 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:35am by Hammy14

(0)

mifo all I have to say is that you are a moron. Cling wrap IS NOT a substitute and you can get pregnate and transfer STDs no matter if it is your first time or not and no matter what position you are in. Go to the book store right now and get you a sex ed book for crying out loud.

#75 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:59am by jcooplsu11

(0)

Yeah, the person was joking. For srrz.

#77 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:00am by Chfanfiction

Normally my sarcasm detector is a little slow, But #3 (@Milfo)'s comment is just dripping with it. Leave the obvious sarcasm alone.

#86 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am by Icaarus

(0)

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#166 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:58pm by baec

(0)

Or if the woman's on top, that's just gravity.

#199 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:37pm by loveyabb

(0)

Hey, smart one, how about oral sex? Or a hand job?

#4 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:52am by sacredpoppy

(0)

or think about condoms somewhere along the way?

#8 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:54am by spoo

(0)

Why not just play strip poker? It doesn't have to end in someone getting pregnant.

#24 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:12am by Futt_Buck

(0)

Did you Snap at him when he told you?

#6 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:53am by FreddyLunch

(0)

Use your mouth

#10 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:57am by ChrmnMa0

(+2)

I just wonder why someone wants sex with "a friend".
And yeah, like #2 said, there ways to have fun without condoms.

#11 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:58am by HuskyButt

(-3)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

That's what I was thinking. Slut much? Jesus, and why the fuck would you need to drive all the way to Colorado from Texas!?

#21 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:09am by genius_man16

(0)

Slut doesn't mean what you apparently think it does.

#99 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:26pm by paperfox

(0)

Texans tend to do that... Haven't quite figured out why yet... It's not like we really want them here. But, I digress.

Gas stations in Colorado are open 24/7, as are 7/11s, Kings, Wal Marts, and various other places. And even South Park has a 7/11, despite being able to drive through it in all of 30 seconds. There are multiple places you could have gone.

YDI for all that and more.

#213 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:13pm by Apollo45

(-1)

It's called the mouth, use it. And you can find condoms everywhere like public bathrooms. And who would have sex with just a friend?

#12 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:01am by Shyman4ever

(0)

Dude, that's what shower curtains and duct tape are for.
If not, just learn to love it in the butt.

#13 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:05am by Zakky_Ketchup

(0)

lol...Try to love it in the butt... I love it #13

Yeah...Oral, anal...

But if it's just a friend...I suppose you still deserve it for not accounting for all variables...him not bringing condoms...

#178 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:58pm by deprivedwriter

(-5)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Hardly an FML. You could just go to a clinic in the morning and buy a morning after pill. And don't you know what oral is?

Or he could use a Milky Way wrapper...

#14 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:05am by efwiz

(-6)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Right you could always pull out. Granted their are risks that he won't do it in time, but that's hot.

#15 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:06am by Polionixon

(0)

That reminded me of a similar scene in the movie "The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human."

#16 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:07am by NapalmFrog

(0)

just super glue your dick so no seamen can come out thats what i did and it did the job

#17 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:07am by Unregistered

(0)

dude, this can have serious repercussions. ask some people over 30 about this.... trust me that is REALLY bad

#52 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:35am by spoo

(0)

Okay, to the people who are suggesting oral or anal- seriously? You think just because these people forgot comdoms for one night they should do something that they're obviously uncomfortable with? I'm a guy and I would NEVER do anal. Y'all are crazy.

Some people are more comfortable than others. You have no right to tell them what to do.

By the same token, hand jobs are pretty low on the "gross" scale. So yeah.

By the way, this discussion has been made: pulling out DOESN'T WORK and it isn't so "hot" to get pregnant, is it?

#19 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:07am by Chfanfiction

(0)

depends on who you are. And theirs always the morning after pill and yes this would be considered an emergency :P then again i'm pro choice!

#23 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:11am by Polionixon

(+1)

Personally, I believe if you're uncomfortable with foreplay, you're probably not mature enough to be having full sex.

And to the OP, I don't see the FML here; you could have jerked each other off and then spent the night playing cards! There are so, so many ways to enjoy yourselves without resorting to full penetration.

#28 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:16am by nodayliketoday

(0)

I want to know how wouldn't it work you obviously know when your about to cum or on your way atleast. Just pull out when your to the "escalating point" and have her finish you off. I mean i've seen it done in porno's tons of times come on now :P Lol

#30 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:19am by Polionixon

What are you, 12? It's called pre-cum, and it contains sperm as well. Ask your daddy about it.

#37 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:24am by Maricely1

(+1)

Polionixon, precum has sperm in it. Meaning pregnancy is a possibility as soon as the penis touches the vagina. Doesn't matter if you pull out or not, pregnancy is always a possibility when you're having sex. Even condoms are only like 99% effective.

Don't you have sex ed at school? How old are you? Get educated, this shit is important.

edit: haha, maricely beat me to it! High five for precum knowledge ;)

#41 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:27am by nodayliketoday

(+2)

There's a difference between foreplay and things that you don't want to do with your body. It isn't not "mature" to not want a penis in your mouth/ass, it's simply a choice the person makes. Why is that immature?

#43 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:28am by Chfanfiction

(+1)

That's not quite what I meant, and I agree with you there. No-one should do things they don't want to do.

#50 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:33am by nodayliketoday

(0)

Maybe people would listen to you if you didn't mention a "gross" scale. I'm echoing what someone else said - if they aren't comfortable with foreplay, then they probably shouldn't be having sex. While anal is NOT everyone's cup of tea, it seems bizarre that a couple would be entirely comfortable with something as intimate as intercourse, but find a hand job icky.

Chfanfiction, you sound pretty immature. Or possibly Catholic. I'm guessing that you don't have a lot of experience, and that's fine. But you sounded like you were giving a bit of a moral lecture. And the fact that you have a gross scale? I'm still laughing.

#60 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:42am by sacredpoppy

(0)

@37 and 41

yess. score.

#65 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:44am by mercyFML

(+1)

First of all, I'm not very religious. Why does everyone assume that? What I meant was that there are certain acts which less and less people would do. I guess using "gross" wasn't the best terminology, but it's basically this:

A lot of people won't do anal.

Some people won't do oral.

A lot of people will do hand jobs.

So, what can we infer? There's something about the first two that makes less people want to do them- I guess it's more of a "comfort" issue. People are less comfortable with certain things and that's perfectly alright.

Sorry about the "gross" thing, that wasn't really what I meant.

#70 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:46am by Chfanfiction

(+1)

And I'm sure at least some girls would think the idea of putting a guy's big, sweaty dick in your moth gross. According to the internet, the reaction to that is "go figure."

#73 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:51am by Chfanfiction

(0)

aww 73... I felt bad that my comment might have been seen as a slam to you and came back here. It'll be okay. Life is big and out there. You'll see :]

#76 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:00am by mercyFML

(0)

Wait, what?

#78 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:04am by Chfanfiction

(0)

yea i forgot about that. and for 1 im not 12 i'm actually still a virgin by choice. So forgive me if i'm not really educated as much as you experienced people :P but really it was just a brain fart anyways. I was wrong blahblah my bad

#104 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:34pm by Polionixon

(0)

sweaty? really?

#111 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:45pm by daarlingdamsel

(0)

More like 90% but I agree...

...however if you don't want get anyone pregnant ask her to take the pill. If it's about STDs use condoms (additionally!) or even better: get tested and make sure you're healthy. You don't exactly catch an STD out of the fresh air...

Pulling out is just dumb...please, read a bit about that stuff before you try NOT to procreate.

#127 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:38pm by Subtext

(0)

Wait, so since I'm a virgin I don't know anything about something that can be gained by spending two seconds on a forum? I am NOT anti-sex. I'd be willing to do a lot of things later in life (not now). I AM anti-it-being-the-only-thing-anyone-ever-cares-about.

As for plexico, well, have you seen his posts? He's a maniac! He thinks the only thing in life is sex and that it take precedence over everything else. Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore. All I'm saying is that some people aren't comfortable with doing certain things and that's perfectly alright.

How am I immature for thinking there are people who aren't comfortable doing certain things?

#129 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:44pm by Chfanfiction

(+2)

Dogmatic dear? Have you looked up the terms you're using? The kid seems logical to me--- He basically said some people won't do certain things because they think it is "gross" or they're uncomfortable. I know men who won't do anal, I know women who won't perform oral sex, I know men who won't. So it isn't an issue. Leave the kid alone, he was just trying to offer a solution.

That being said, OP, honey, I think we're missing part of this story. Texas to Colorado? Do you realize how far that is honey? And it was *just* for sex? Were you at a fetish club? I'm sure they have condoms there. Otherwise, why on Earth did you drive that far without making sure he had the goods since you obviously didn't have them yourself. And I wonder what kind of place you were at. Most places have 24hour gas stations, bars, etc. Why didn't you leave earlier since you *knew* it would take forever to get there? YDI my dear, YDI. I applaud you for using protection, I laugh at you for not thinking to bring it. Sorry

#130 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:46pm by bluedoll

(0)

Thank you, bluedoll. Somebody who understands where I'm coming from.

#132 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:48pm by Chfanfiction

(0)

Plexico, the only time I did that was when I stated that sex is not more important than a child's well being. Are you going to wave around something as obvious as THAT to try to refute me?

To be honest, I think there's a lot of miscommunication happening here.

In this case, what I'm saying is that a lot of people aren't comfortable with certain types of sex and you're not one to tell them that they shouldn't be. That doesn't exactly require a PhD to figure out.

#146 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:27pm by Chfanfiction

(0)

Being a virgin doesn't make you "ignorant" about sex. It makes you a virgin. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean you get to go around telling people to discount my opinions. Lots of people agree with me as they do you.

#147 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:30pm by Chfanfiction

(0)

I feel as if this has been going on between the two of you for a while and that I stepped in in the middle. Most people state their opinions as if they were fact, to be honest. The thing is that READERS should know that they are in fact opinion based on the medium. Yes, he may be young but have you ever read literary scholarship published in journals? A lot of ignorant people publish as if they are stating facts (I read one that said, "Baum 'Oz' can be discredited." Yes, the inventor of Oz knew nothing about the land. I had choice words for that author.) The point is that it is his opinion and he seems aware of that at this time, which discredits you. He is right that *some* people aren't comfortable with *certain* things so it isn't our place to tell OP "Ever heard of anal?" or "Ever heard of oral?" or "Just wank him off." While I see YOUR point, some people don't want to do certain things.

And for those of you suggesting foreplay was the answer, I just want to ask this of you: How many of YOU would have been happy to stop there? I wouldn't have been....but I wouldn't have been without either.

#150 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:41pm by bluedoll

(0)

Chfanfiction: you probabily haven't visited the comments section of FML very much before. It is filled with people who insult and declare their opinions and "facts" because they are hidden by an anonymous username (yes I know I have one too). After a while, you come to truly understand the rule "don't feed the troll." It never works (I mean talking back, not the rule) and all it does is frustrate you, infuriate the troll, and make us laugh at the entire conversation. Just drop the topic.

Now, plexico: Don't get mad at me either (though I seriously doubt you'll ever even read my comment, I don't know) I'm not calling you a troll. I was just saying that it's stupid, pointless, and fruitless to get in an argument with a username over the internet. Same goes for you. What your saying makes sense, and even work with each other. Chfanfiction is saying is of the people (s)he knows or has heard from, the polling is thus. What you are saying that as a virgin, no matter how mature or educated you are, you will always be on the outside looking in. So, as a virgin, you (and the people around you) may have initial feeling about doing some things, but after you have sex and become comfortable with it, you may (or may not) be more comfortable with experimenting too.

#167 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:12pm by sleepreader

(0)

Oh yeah,(sorry I know I've written a ton already) also, by "you" I didn't mean you specifically you, plexico. I was using that in place of "one". And I realize how pretentious my posts sound. Sorry. It always seems to come off a certain way on the Internet doesn't it?

#168 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:16pm by sleepreader

(0)

... I disagree. I've had sex, and I must say it's not rocket science. I didn't gain any "magical understanding," nor did I come to any kind of great revelations about who I am and how I relate to my partner, etc...

But maybe I'm just an emotionless void.

#185 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:45pm by theanonimouse

(0)

That's what I was thinking, it seems way too far to drive for just one night. I can understand needing a hotel room when you have parents/roommates, but crossing any state lines just seems unnecessary. And, I'm a girl but if I know sex is happening I always bring a couple condoms just in case he forgets.

#225 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:33pm by ruby437

(0)

Plexico, why must you insist on being so incredibly condescending? I seriously doubt that Chfanfiction needed a "talking-to" on age and wisdom. Please! Save your "I've-had-sex-so-I-know-everything" crap for someone who wants to hear it. I can say that I had plenty of educated conversations about sex before I ever did away with the V-card. Just because someone might not have experienced something firsthand does NOT mean that he/she doesn't know what they're talking about. In addition, attacking someone who merely stated a harmless opinion is pretty pathetic... Even more so for trying to discredit them because they haven't had sex yet.

Bluedoll and Sleepreader, thank you for being individuals who do not have to be biased to be helpful to a party in question.

Lastly, why has no one brought up the idea that maybe the two friends wanted to have their "uninterrupted night" in a beautiful and romantic location? Colorado is not a cross-country roadtrip, you know. ;]
(Though this is still a YDI for neither of you thinking to bring the protection.)

#232 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:14am by FallEnlightening

(+1)

plexico: 75% of the time that i read something on this website that really irritates me, it comes from you. you are such a goddamn condescending bastard and you'll never fully realize it. it's so sad.

chfanfiction: plexico is just another example of an old dude who thinks he knows everything because he's old. however, due to an inability to see anyone else's view, he will always appear less intelligent. this website is making it painfully more obvious how many of those there really are.

#234 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:58am by fuckmeamiright

(0)

... no, not really. :/

I've always been kind of apathetic towards sex, not gonna lie. We had it, it felt pretty good... and then afterwards everything was the same. I wasn't even nervous before... I was way more nervous before I gave a blowjob, because that shit's all on me. Performance anxiety. But sex? Pft. NBD. Haha.

I guess I really am a heartless bastard.

#241 - On 08/06/2009 at 6:22am by theanonimouse

(0)

My point has been made, etc. etc. etc. I'm gone.

#242 - On 08/06/2009 at 8:13am by Chfanfiction

(0)

"By the way, this discussion has been made: pulling out DOESN'T WORK and it isn't so "hot" to get pregnant, is it?"

does work. is unreliable. shot down on your first comment, as per usual.

#243 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:05am by organisedchaos

(0)

...@73 yes, when youre a guy the mental image of a big sweaty cock in your mouth is pretty disgusting unless youre gay or have some sort of gay tendancy...personally if the sex was reversed and it was a girl sitting on my face i wouldnt be quite as disgusted or horrified.

youll find this is common among most virgin teenage boys too.

#244 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:09am by organisedchaos

(0)

@234 i like to think that im the other 25%. plexicos comments are often sarcastic or made in jest from what i remember, unless im thinking of someone else. rarely have i seen much more than playful banter. so your disagreeing with him may have a lot to do with not actually comprehending whats going on.

@232 this discussion is carried on from a previous FML, having not been part of it from the beginning youre simply seeing episode 2. the original is always better :) the kid yaps on about things he doesnt understand, then acts as though hes only had one point for the entire thing, and usually its some self righteous crap such as "a childs welfare is more important than sex". he has made several claims here aside from the "people shouldnt be forced to do things they dont want to" but since its got the least negative response hes gonna throw that around like its his only comment (ignoring his judgement of pulling out as a contraceptive method, the supposed scales of acceptability or "grossness" of different forms of sex, not comprehending the concept of sexual maturity). last time the issue was that he didnt understand what was going on, and made irrelevent points, then made character judgements based on his own stupid moral code. it was a sad sight. unfortunately since i dont bookmark fmls and have since closed the tab i cant show you.

#246 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:31am by organisedchaos

(0)

Well, if pulling out is unreliable it doesn't really work, does it?

#247 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:34am by Chfanfiction

(0)

...yes, it does. again, something you dont understand.
its also unreliable to use a diaphragm, would you say that doesnt work?
everything isnt black and white, it doesnt either work or not, for some people it does, for others it doesnt, i know one guy who ONLY used that method, hes had several long term girlfriends with a very active sex life and has yet to get anyone pregnant. would you say it didnt work?

#248 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:44am by organisedchaos

(0)

Precum. Difficulty to control. Responsibility solely on man. General stupidity.

#249 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:49am by Chfanfiction

(0)

... I can't believe you're actually arguing over the efficacy of the pull-out method.

Here's a chart to make this simple:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm

For the linkaphobic: the pull-out method is effective about 70% of the time. Quite prone to error, often leads to pregnancy, and as far as I know is only used by retards who would rather get their partner pregnant than wear a fucking condom.

#250 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:55am by theanonimouse

(0)

...fuck youre stupid.
"pulling out DOESN'T WORK"
yes. it does. whether you AGREE with it as a method is FUCKING IRRELEVENT. this is the last time i am prepared to discuss this unless you come up with something that isnt a load of bullshit to say. get a clue.

#251 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:01am by organisedchaos

(+1)

*irrelevant

Also, this isn't just my opinion sweetheart. It is the LEAST effective method of birth control available, other than just fucking without any precaution whatsoever and then, I don't know, squatting and sneezing afterwards.

Statistics from legit studies aren't just a "load of bullshit," no matter how much you might wish they were. With PERFECT use, (which is very, VERY RARE), the failure rate is still twice that of perfectly used condoms. With average use, the failure rate is 27%. Condoms are also a lot more reliable than just taking some guy's word that he'll pull out "when the time comes." I mean, really?

#253 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:06am by theanonimouse

(0)

i wasnt replying to you, you posted that as i was typing, there was no comment between mine and his before.

i already said its not a very effective method, please actually read what i say, im not debating how well it works, rather that it DOES work, since the original comment made the claim that it doesnt work. hence why i copied it again to make the point, it DOES, regardless of how poorly it ranks statistically.

so the load of bullshit paragraph im ignoring too now since it wasnt directed at you in the first place.

#255 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:22am by organisedchaos

(0)

You could say anything worked with that kind of attitude. "Hey, for the past few weeks I've been douching with lemon juice, and I haven't gotten pregnant! LOL it works!"

ALSO: Welcome to a public forum. Everyone argues together here; the concept of a private conversation in this setting is just laughable.

#257 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:29am by theanonimouse

(0)

oh good im dealing with another smart one. im not even going to debate that because the point is irrational and stupid. im not even going to debate this topic any further. (unless youve got something constructive to provide)
im aware this is a public forum, but responding to something directed at someone else is stupid. if someone said to you that your tits sag i couldnt then jump in and say PUBLIC FORUM NO THEY DONT IM A GUY. in a public forum it is still possible to say things directed to one person and not expect every other person to respond also. if youre suggesting i need to be more specific in who im responding to, simply placing my comment below the one im referring to would be adequate reason to believe im either responding to that person or the OP. the fact that you got in first simply makes it a slip up, and not a misunderstanding on my part. i pointed out the mistake, move the fuck on.

#258 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am by organisedchaos

(0)

If responding to something directed at someone else in a public forum was stupid, what would be the point of a public forum? You've just discredited any comment that responds to a comment addressing the OP... which is the majority of comments on this thread.

I also never said there was a misunderstanding on your part regarding responses.

But hey, if it makes you feel better to argue with some 14-year-old you think you might have a chance of winning against, by all means, knock yourself out. :)

#259 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:10am by theanonimouse

(0)

"If responding to something directed at someone else in a public forum was stupid, what would be the point of a public forum? You've just discredited any comment that responds to a comment addressing the OP... which is the majority of comments on this thread."

fine, poor wording, something directed at someone else that doesnt apply to you. by saying HE provides bullshit reasoning for his statement doesnt mean the same thing about what you say, especially when youre simply saying that its not reliable, which is different from it doesnt work. why would i be arguing against that when its exactly what im saying. it isnt reliable, but it does work. this was before you made that other stupid statement about lemon juice. those statistics you provided do not prove me wrong at all, they further amplify my point. look, its 1am, im too tired to deal with your bullshit, i have a paper to write and youre just slowing me down. stop responding to me, youre an idiot. good day.

#262 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:35am by organisedchaos

(0)

Okay, I think this discussion has gone on long enough. If I so choose, I will continue to post in other parts of FML where people are being idiots. The main reason I posted earlier was because I was tired of seeing all the people running around saying "then do anal or oral bitch lol" with no real opposition.

#268 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:28pm by Chfanfiction

(0)

no it doesn't you moron

#273 - On 08/06/2009 at 7:02pm by smithersss

(0)

It never ends, does it?

#274 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:46pm by sleepreader

(0)

efwiz, you are retarted, morning after pills are only for real emergency situations, not when you just don't have any other contraception with you. they can really fuck up a woman's hormone system.

#20 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:07am by laleyla

(0)

LOOOL @ #15

#22 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:10am by setbaby

(0)

Wikipedia + lazy maggot = facepalm.

#31 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:20am by nodayliketoday

(0)

where's the 'report abuse' button again???

#33 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:20am by Lillith

(0)

*shakes fist*

#36 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:24am by timtam24

(0)

"Today, I cared so much what anonymous people on a website think of me, that I spent time going to Wikipedia, copying ALL the info about a band I've probably never seen, and putting it on this website. FML."

Also,

"Today, I wondered what a hidden comment on Fmylife said. So I clicked "show comment", and nearly broke my mouse scrolling through miles of irrelevant wiki info. FML."

#47 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:31am by Intoxicunt

(0)

Intoxicant, massive win.

#51 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:33am by Chfanfiction

(0)

Good job of copy pasting that. Idiot. Nobody cares about slipknot.

#61 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:42am by CL41RE

(+1)

SUMMARY: Slipknot is a mockery of music, preying on the emotionally imbalanced, angry teenagers of America.

#64 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:43am by lmmmr

(0)

Yes win

#66 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:45am by CL41RE

(0)

doesn't sound like a friend. sounds like 2 people having an affair and driving way out to not be caught in the act. no one would drive to another state just to have sex with a friend. go back to your husband, or divorce him. this is probably a sign that you shouldn't have been bopping on his wang to begin with.

#29 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:17am by dcainswo

(0)

judging, judging, judging, how easy is that?

"friends with benefits", ever heard of that? what if they live in a small town where everyone knows each other? Million of options to think of and I seriously don't think this website is for giving someone advice.

#34 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:22am by Lillith

(+1)

Welcome to the internet, Lillith. Judging, snark and dispensing unwanted advice make up the 4% of the internet that isn't porn. Enjoy your stay!

#58 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:41am by nodayliketoday

(+1)

I'll do my best ;)

#63 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:43am by Lillith

(0)

well, i am not judging, people can do what they want to do.... there is just something about this that doesn't seem right or make sense. i live in texas.... and texas is a HUGE place, and there are MANY stores open 24 hours..... it isn't like you are planning a vacay for a week..... how do you bring or aquire cards, but no condoms? and why do you travel all the way to a distant hotel to do it, but are not prepared with bringing protection....... and what does interrupted mean? cause phones can ring out of state in most cases......

#177 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:57pm by dcainswo

(+1)

YDI for not having your own supply of condoms. Why rely on him?
And as others have noted. You can do other things that don't necessitate a condom.

#32 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:20am by jonnymohio

(+1)

Whoa, apparently no one here is concerned with the concept of STDs....Glad you played it safe. There's always the morning.

#38 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:26am by rxrxrx

Buy your own fucking condoms. Unless you're one of those stupid girls who think they're helpless and needs a guy to do everything for them.

#39 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:26am by Maricely1

(+2)

*shakes fist again*

#45 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:29am by timtam24

(+1)

maybe they were really friends. maybe they were dating other people at that point and just wanted to have a night together. that could explain why they had to drive out and be so secretive. well looks like the gods arent in your favour. so no sex for ya

#42 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:27am by irockmyworld

(0)

seriously.. you're hurting my eyes with all this shit you post up.

do us a favour and get outta here

#44 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:29am by irockmyworld

(0)

You don't need to go that far for one night

#46 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:31am by acranine11

(0)

just take one in the ass.
guarantee it'll hurt less than poppin out a kid.

#49 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:33am by guitardedman

(0)

"friend"

#56 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:40am by blobxmaster13

(+2)

There are a lot of things wrong with this FML.

Bring your own condoms, don't expect the guy to always bring them. Also, I don't see why you would resort to playing cards instead of some foreplay. IMO any sex life without foreplay is pretty boring.

#57 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:40am by kk611

(0)

Since when has it been solely the guys responsibility to have condoms?!
You're a dick for thinking it, grow up!

#59 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:42am by Trixibell

(0)

i have heard better as well. this is not a fml this is whining

#62 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:43am by kickrocksbetch

(+1)

I agree with ya on that one. Plus, pretty much everywhere has a 24 hour gas station or convenience store in it, which sell...you guessed it...condoms. If you drove that far, but wont drive to the closest gas station YDI for being a fucking retard

#69 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:46am by DaBombb316

(0)

How about you say who he really is instead of sugarcoating, darling? He's either a friend with benefits or a fuck buddy. Certainly not just a "friend".

#67 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:46am by PurpleHaze23

(0)

This isnt a FML, its a dumbass moment LOL. And they did make hotels in texas, so why in god's name would you waste the money to go that far?

#71 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:48am by JokerXero

(0)

not casting stones here but my guess is that they are both married just not to each other.

#79 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:04am by mercyFML

(0)

Thank you, this is what i was trying to say. they are involved with other people or something like that, cause they wouldn't have to go far away if they are friends and adults and single..... that way, neighbors don't have to know if they are doing it or not, if it is really a friend!!! and who would interrupt them? hmmmm....... thank you for not being a gullible idiot

#179 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:07pm by dcainswo

(0)

Why exactly was it his responsibility to bring the condoms? If you want to get laid, be prepared... YDI.

#72 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:50am by JanisEvans

(0)

Dude, OP: 2 things. 1. pull out, 2. just get pregnant. It's no that bad, srsly. And since he's your friend that means no relationship drama.

#80 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:06am by smpat04

(+1)

/face-palm

#82 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:09am by timtam24

(+1)

Yo, sarcasm.

#83 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:11am by Chfanfiction

(0)

really? ok then

#84 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:16am by timtam24

(+1)

why the fuck did you drive to Colorado?? am i the only one seeing something odd here??

#81 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:08am by serpicosghost

(0)

Am I the only person who knows that there are only 40 miles between Texas and Colorado? Sure that's border to border, but it is not strange to think that Texans would drive to beautiful Colorado for a getaway.

Plus...I have to say; did you ever think he might have "forgotten" on purpose? Did he tell you he had them and that's why you didn't get any? Come on now men. Fess up. How many of you have played the "I forgot the condoms" bit to try and get some skin?

But in all honesty I feel bad for you guys who have to deal with condoms. That's why I enjoy this little thing called MONOGAMY!

#237 - On 08/06/2009 at 4:28am by sika

(+1)

Not sure about the road trip. Sucks about the condoms. You could have gone oral, anal, frottage, whatever. While you may lack some imagination, at least you had sense to abstain, so I'll give you props for that.

#85 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:17am by Vagrarian

(0)

This is what I'm talking about. All he cares about is sex.

#131 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:46pm by Chfanfiction

(0)

Plexico, win, as usual. Marry me.

#278 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:01am by Intoxicunt

(0)

FHL if you didn't at least give him a hummer.

#88 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:28am by Eelusive

(0)

come on now, you can still have plenty of fun

#89 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:36am by efmivida

(0)

Um, that's why people use the internet to do research on the place they are going. To make sure there are gas stations or convenience stores that sell condoms. Or at least to make sure there are things to do in that town.

#90 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:39am by f_u_u_f_f

(0)

you didnt think about asking if he brought them during the entire trip? im from dallas and i know the trip is pretty damn long, at least 12 hours to get to denver or so. yall could've bought condoms any of the three or four times if not MORE that you had to fill up at a gas station. you fucking deserved it for not thinking about the whole reason you were going on the trip.

plus it sounds like you're a dude tryna fuck another dude since you didnt say you were a woman. why else would you go all the way to colorado to fuck. im not hatin, im just sayin...

#91 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:40am by doicha27

(0)

you know the entire time i was reading comments i didnt realize but everyone automatically assumed it was a guy and a girl, but its not actually said
go figure

#97 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:19pm by ashole1990

(0)

The thing I'm confused about is you only call the person "friend" not boyfriend. And you wouldn't really call a one-night stand a friend unless you knew them well. And for a one-night stand I doubt you'd go all the way to Colorado.

#92 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:43am by drummer_dude

(0)

have you perhaps considered anal?

#93 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:43am by DataWhore

(0)

I don't understand why you drove so far, and how you got somewhere where no place was open. Seriously, there is ALWAYS a gas station, 24 hour walmart, something!

#94 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:54am by crampy

(0)

WHAT THE FUCK, BULLSHIT THERE IS PLENTY OF PLACES OPEN 24/7 DIPSHIT

#96 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:12pm by JaaayZeee

thats what checklists are for

#98 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:26pm by sports4life

(0)

Yes, because penetrative sex is the only thing that works... YDI for not being more creative!

#102 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:30pm by Ran4

(0)

Two words, "Oral sex".

#103 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:32pm by Chuffy

(0)

Coulda done anal. Or oral. Way to leave out two very real possibilities.

#105 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:37pm by wbrycem

(0)

WOW, Man you should have let that guy go commando down there, he'll pull out... if he wants to!

#106 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:39pm by aphughes

(0)

or, you could have just not been a stupid whore and drive 15 hours to have sex with a "friend".

#107 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:40pm by william0090

(0)

YOU DESERVE IT. You could have made a pit stop at ANY point on the way up.

#108 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:41pm by noshitsherlock

(0)

This sounds really fake to me. Who drives from Texas to Colorado just to have sex? Even if you are married I'm sure there are places in Texas where you can have sex. And there are a million gas stations around where you could easily go pick some condoms up. Or you could have had oral or anal or something and not just play cards on the bed

#109 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:43pm by mylifesucks07

(0)

YDI for not being prepared. And why would anyone drive from Texas to Colorado just to spend a night together? Never heard of a motel??

#110 - On 08/05/2009 at 12:44pm by Chubtubdaplaya

(0)

Funny how everyone says the OP should have done anal. You can still get pregnant from anal sex. Semen leaks out of orifices, and given its close proximity to the vagina during anal sex, the possibility is very real. As real as pre-cum getting someone pregnant.

And pre-cum, by the way, usually only contains sperm if a man has ejaculated recently. Look it up.

#112 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:02pm by davidtheday

(0)

that was a sign not to have sex.

#113 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:05pm by cmac86

(0)

you brought cards but not condoms? way to think of the important stuff

#114 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:06pm by justchillin

(0)

Like everyone else seems to be saying, why depend on the guy for condoms? Most guys hate (HATE) them. Maybe buy your own box for next time. Just in case.

#115 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:06pm by CFR

(0)

"You can still get pregnant from anal sex"
That's bullshit. It's like saying you can get pregnant by oral sex or getting HIV by holding hands.
But (and that's important' you can have std by having anal or oral sex.

However it's good not to do anything if you don't have a condom.

However i do not understand why drive that much to have sex

#116 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:07pm by 4ube

(0)

Dude, you can get pregnant from anal. It's not as likely as if a man ejaculated in your vagina, but still a very real possibility. Like the above poster said, it drips out and the asshole and vagina are very close to each other.

#227 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:46pm by ruby437

(0)

This FML SUCKS pretty gay. It is call the Plan B Pill

#117 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:11pm by tgabe2

(0)

this is either fake or the op is a retard. who drives from Texas to colorado to spend a single night together? ydi for not bringing your own condoms. get a hotel room next time in your own city.

#119 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:16pm by Nightfallz

(0)

Wow, you must have a great friendship if you're bored out of your mind with each other when not having sex...

#120 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:20pm by spaceranger33

(0)

Men always bring the condoms. Period. Friend/Man/Manfriend fail.

Also, I don't know where in the hell you came from or went to, but it's pretty hard to getting from Texas to Colorado without passing through A MAJOR CITY WITH, UHH, A FUCKING GAS STATION, complete with ATM and RACKS UPON RACKS of condoms. Stop, pull over, purchase and continue on to the FuckFest. You don't even have to turn off the engine.

Finally, if you live far enough west in Texas, I'd have just gone to Vegas baby.

#122 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:26pm by blueworld

(0)

there are gas stations in colorado... why not go buy some wraps?

#123 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:28pm by shit_happens_09

(0)

Amending my last comment, if OP lives in the very northern part of Texas, and traveled to the very SE of colorado, its only 1.5 hours away with no major towns in between, or even relatively close. Sucks OP, but Manfriend should still have condoms available at all times.

#125 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:36pm by blueworld

(0)

Why is everyone assuming the OP is female?

Condoms aren't just for preventing pregnancy; they're there to stop STDs too. Some might say that's the most important function.

#126 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:37pm by musu

(0)

exactly, the OP could've been a dude, which makes it really understandable why they didn't want to do it without a condom. and also, who really cares why they went from TX to CO? maybe they had something else to do there or something. sheesh, does everything have to be explained to you people?

#285 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:39pm by tuculito

(0)

blah blah blah yes they could have done other stuff even though they forgot the condom, but why i the hell would you drive that far????? idiot!!

#128 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:41pm by crackAjack

(0)

LMFAO just dont use one

#133 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:52pm by K001

(0)

I personally think that if you know its going to get sexual that you as a girl should have carried condems to.

And too all the people saying just pull out or stand up. Those dont work. Its called precum and and when you were to cum it still shoots up into the girls vagina anyway so standing up doesnt work either. So you guys should stfu and learn your facts.

OP. I think YDI because you should have been carrying some condoms to. Better luck next time ;)

#137 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:58pm by Daaniellee1234

(0)

If you're going to drive that far to begin with just to have sex, how about continuing on to fucking Denver instead? Surely there's a pharmacy open there. YDI

#138 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:58pm by bmach

(0)

fyl for not being able to enjoy yourself without having sex. especially if he's a 'friend' of yours.

#140 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:08pm by thisisftw

(0)

It's called a f**k buddy

#145 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:26pm by nativebacon

(0)

If he is a "friend" and not a boyfriend, isn't playing cards more appropriate for your relationship with him anyway? FYL for being forced into being respectable.

#149 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:36pm by Phillay632

(0)

just do without :P not the end of the world. lol

#151 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:41pm by upyoursmo

(0)

You're saying "it used to be" like the past was some super-moral land of happiness and prude. Sorry, bb, but that's just not true. Today, morality isn't any worse than it "used to be." Stop glorifying the past.

#154 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:49pm by theanonimouse

(0)

While I do agree with the whole "Changing Times" speech you just through out there, I don't agree with the fact you think it's her fault for sleeping with someone who's not her boyfriend. You don't know their relationship, they could've been "dealing" with each other for a long time.

You cannot put the blame solely on the ones who are having sex at a younger age and with mostly everyone. It goes much further than that. It goes to the older siblings, the parents, the teachers and the role models. But the world is becoming a less and less "perfect" place, and parents aren't what they used to be and either are kids. It's probably not going to fix anytime soon.

#157 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:53pm by Poke_my_mon

(0)

Again I say, it isn't ANY worse today than it EVER was before. Even in the Victorian Era, when sexuality was at its "most repressed," people STILL had premarital sex. There were STILL whorehouses. In fact, in the past, you'd already be pumpin' out babies by the age of 14. So I don't want to hear this "back in my day" bullshit. Ever heard of the Greeks? The Romans? Any great civilization of old? Sorry to break it to you, but THEY HAD SEX. A lot. A lot more than we do.

Again, stop glorifying the past.

#159 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:59pm by theanonimouse

(0)

#157: You have wonderful hair. Just thought I'd point that out!

#174 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:35pm by Intoxicunt

(0)

You know, this FML makes the most sense if both the OP and his "friend" are male. That would explain why he might have felt the need to drive so far away for sex... if he comes from a small town where homosexuality might be "frowned upon."

This also discredits everyone's arguments of, "ZOMG girls bring condoms too," "DO IT IN THE BUTT," and "plan B," because obviously the condom would be used to prevent STD's, not pregnancy.

#153 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:46pm by theanonimouse

(0)

That's what I was thinking, especially being from Texas they might need to be extra discreet. There are some towns in the U.S., especially in the south, where two guys checking into a motel room for a night might be frowned upon...

#228 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:52pm by ruby437

(0)

hahahahahaha! why did you go all the way to colorado? why not just go to a hotel nearby? or to another town nearby?? new braunfels or austin is where i would go.

#158 - On 08/05/2009 at 2:59pm by AdamGD

(0)

You are all nuts there is only one gender specified in this fml. as far as I know now in days the OP could be male aswell. Yes that would mean 2 gay men!

#161 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:03pm by TheGerman

(0)

condoms = everyone's responsibility

#163 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:44pm by jmeg

(0)

why didn't you let him just do you up the butt?

#164 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:45pm by baec

(0)

please, slipknot isn't even that. They are the commercial money whores who COPY stage performance bands like KISS to try and be edgy and original. So they put bags over their heads and use dodgy lighting. They can't even scream properly. Can't risk hurting their pretty voices.

#170 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:25pm by sleepreader

(0)

crap. I meant to post that as a reply to all the comments about slipknot. FML made it into a regular comment so no one knows what I'm talking about. And then I wasted a comment commenting on my own comment. FML jk

#171 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:27pm by sleepreader

(0)

You deserve it. Just because you stupidly traveled that entire distance. What, there's no place between Texas and Colorado?

#172 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:32pm by Neferria

(0)

Oral.

#173 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:35pm by MTF23

(0)

Big deal? It's an "entire" weekend. You just won't be able to have sex the first night. Just go buy condoms first thing in the morning when the stores open up and find some other way/do other things in the meantime. Duh.

#175 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:44pm by runner06

(0)

YDI Pull and pray is a wonderful thing...way to be a buzzkill

#176 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:45pm by jsrjonah

(0)

Pull out! has worked all but once for me! Pretty good odds with the amount of theighs I've been between!

#180 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:11pm by visage

(0)

"all but once"? That implies that it failed once for you. Therefore, it's idiotic that you'd be recommending it to someone else.

#194 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:58pm by calamito

(0)

You know, it's not not just HIS responsibility to bring condoms. You could have brought them just as easily as him. So unless you talked about it beforehand, agreed that he would bring them, and he forgot, then YDI.

#181 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:28pm by may_cause_fail

(0)

Well if you're having sex with just 'friends', don't you think maybe you should be on BC?

#182 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:29pm by KryptoniteKiss

(0)

That's what happens when you assume he's bringing the condoms.

always be prepared!

#186 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:47pm by AKA

(0)

PFFFTTT. This a YDI for being a whore.
You don't need sex that bad.

#187 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:57pm by kyasariin

(0)

that's why you go to Vegas, everything is open

#188 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:01pm by AshleyRose784

(0)

at least you're responsible.

#191 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:55pm by xkaitlinwhitex

(0)

oh ok so 15 hour drive an you didnt get rubbers? fake.

#192 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:56pm by fakefinder

(0)

Umm gas station? Maybe YOU could have brought condoms instead of relying on him? Not FML.

#193 - On 08/05/2009 at 6:58pm by silly_face

(0)

Guess this means you forgot them, too? Takes two to tango, especially the horizontal tango, so don't blame it all on him.
Kudos on not going ahead unprotected, though.

#195 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:05pm by aravol

(0)

711 is always open. Why dont you be like most teenagers and be irresponsible and just do it without the condom?

#196 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:08pm by FMLfangirl89

(0)

why would you drive all the way from texas to colorado just to have sex?

#197 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:11pm by dinosgorawrr

(0)

I know right? There has got to be hotels in texas somewhere?

#209 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:51pm by daspidermc

(0)

Oh no you couldn't have sex with your friend! How did you EVER manage?

#198 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:18pm by EasilyUnamused

(0)

(I'm assuming OP is a girl)

YDI for apparently thinking they boy has to bring the condoms...
But FYL, I still have sympathy for you, at least you didn't decide to have unprotected sex.

#201 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:45pm by Victoria

(0)

Hmm sounds like you went to a resort town in Colorado if everything was closed.

I know its embarrassing, but most semi-decent hotels will bring up toiletries and the such if you call and ask.

#202 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:59pm by SonoViva

"Today, my friend and I drove away to have sex."
What the hell kind of 'friends' do you have???

#203 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:08pm by Nectarine

#204 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:10pm by Nectarine

(0)

You totally deserve it. Bringing condoms isn't only his responsibility, it's mutual. Also, you could have had oral sex or he could have just pulled out.

#205 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:28pm by teh_bear

(0)

really? this shit gets on FML and my shit doesn't? give me a break... you played cards.. are you fucking stupid? ever hear of oral sex?

#206 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:35pm by engaged

(0)

you could have sucked him off

#207 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:48pm by blarney

(0)

If you drove from Texas to Colorado with a "friend" I'm sure you guys could have cruised it for like an hour and found at least one gas station or convenience store that was open.

#208 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:49pm by daspidermc

(0)

YDI for relying solely on the dude for protection. You should be responsible for your own and if you don't know that, maybe you shouldn't be having sex. Stupid people FTL.

#210 - On 08/05/2009 at 8:54pm by star_ver

(0)

Got any 3's?? XD

#211 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:00pm by Nerdy_Soldier

(0)

You're life's not totally fucked. At least you're committed to safe sex!

#212 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:08pm by newyorker17

(0)

glad wrap ;)

#215 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:27pm by zomgroflmao

(0)

This makes absolutely no sense. You and your "friend" drove across state borders to find some crap place to have sex in? And you're so careless you forgot condoms. Congratulations.

#216 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:48pm by jewelzgalore

(0)

Let's see... you could have done a manual, oral, dry hump, wet hump. And I am damn sure there was a shop open somewhere.

#219 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:17pm by jsmith87

(0)

>... not only did he forget to bring condoms...

There's the reason your life sucks! Your life would be better if you looked at it as, 'not only did WE forget to bring condoms'.
Totally YOUR FAULT, Loser.

#220 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:24pm by certnneed

(0)

YDI for driving to Colorado from Texas to have sex.

#222 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:48pm by itskaylayo1

(0)

So clearly sex was number one on your list of priorities... but how did oral sex fall lower on the list than playing cards?

#224 - On 08/05/2009 at 10:57pm by AmpulexCompressa

(0)

YDI, because if there's a will, there's a way...

#226 - On 08/05/2009 at 11:44pm by tokyooo123

(0)

Haha you must have been in the middle of nowhere in Colorado then
Cause there are soo many places that stay open alll the time for you to be able to get condoms

#229 - On 08/06/2009 at 12:18am by lylas

(0)

YDI for relying on the guy to bring condoms
if you thought you were going to have sex you should always bring some yourself just in case

#231 - On 08/06/2009 at 12:40am by grlwitperlEring

(0)

YDI for driving that long just to fuck for one night and leaving the dick slips behind.

#233 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:37am by waterynuggets

(0)

comments like this are SO fucking goddamn annoying. the "YDI's" that basically copy the whole FML.

for a minor example
"today i slipped on a banana. fml."

fucking vapid moron reply "YDI for slipping on a banana"

seriously. wtf. its a FUCK MY LIFE therefore no FUCKING SHIT.

god. i hate people trying to liek contradict EVERY SINGLE one of these. those are the people i hate most in life, those fucking twats that contradict everything that happens- either shit you say or do or live. and it leads them into a world of endless hypocrisy because they have no mind.

ugh. god. i just needed to rant after seeing all these YDI. such losers. reserve YDI for soenone who REALLY fucking had karma heading their way to kick their ass, and ass they did kick.
fuck man so many deadbrains reading this site. or 14 year olds it appears.

#235 - On 08/06/2009 at 4:08am by astromaroon

(0)

Wow. Testy, are we?

#236 - On 08/06/2009 at 4:21am by FallEnlightening

(0)

Take yer meds, sweetie pie.

Also, what made you reply to me instead of the other similar comments here? Aww, go me!

#280 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:23am by waterynuggets

(0)

Assuming neither of the people mentioned have STDs, the poster should have had sex anyways. It's fairly difficult to get pregnant, considering the window for fertility is small. Plus, she could have used plan B, or abortion, if she found out later that she was pregnant. Obviously this is not suitable as a method of birth control all the time, but this seems like an isolated incident of forgetting condoms. Choices! They exist. Plus, if the poster knows this "friend" so well, there should be future opportunities to get it on. Conclusion: L is not F'd.

#238 - On 08/06/2009 at 4:55am by splark

(0)

I like how taking a chance on getting someone preggers is a-ok, but you better stay away from those got-damn STD's! You're obviously male.

I honestly don't think a single night of "ZOMG HOT SEX" is worth taking such a high risk. And I think it's laughable to suggest she simply take Plan B or get an abortion. Are you even marginally aware of the risks associated with both of these options? Let's start with Plan B. Extreme Nausea, stomach pain, ECTOPIC PREGNANCY, potentially fatal allergic reactions, extremely heavy bleeding... the list goes on.

And the risks associated with a medical mifepristone abortion are much greater, including the potential to bleed so heavily you need a blood transfusion, or YOU DIE. And don't get me started on methotrexate. This isn't even taking into consideration that these procedures can cost you anywhere from $500 to well over $1000.

I agree that her L is not F'd, but seriously...? I fear for your future if these are your ideas of viable "options."

#240 - On 08/06/2009 at 6:20am by theanonimouse

(0)

As you said if splark is a guy then "options" don't concern him at all so that's probably why he sees them as good choices.

#245 - On 08/06/2009 at 9:30am by timtam24

(0)

What? Window for preggers is small?
Don't you mean the window for YOU'RE DEFINITELY 100% GETTING PREGNANT is small? Don't know if you know this, but sperm can live about a week in wait for an egg. That's how you can get pregnant even with your period going on. There is still a chance of pregnancy if sperm even gets only on the EDGES of the vagina (that's why the pull out method doesn't work). We're a weird lot, we women; we can so easily get pregnant it's not funny.. literally, it's not funny at all lol, but that is why condoms and such exist.

And yeah, definitely what 240 said.

And, I'm pro-choice, but getting an abortion just because you (and your boyfriend) were stupid enough to not use a condom when you knew you should have? That's definitely a fuck no.

Really... what the hell is wrong with you, splark? Do you not know anything of responsibility, or is your mind in your pants all the time?

#271 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:51pm by DameGreyWulf

(0)

Mah, wait, it isn't quite so weird, now that I've taken a good look at myself.
We may be highly intelligent, but once just about any sort of animal gets in their mind to attack us, most of us are fucked. WE MUST REPRODUCE SO WE DON'T GO EXTINCT... at least, that's how it was. Not anymore, but yeah, I guess it's not weird. [/randomandunimportant]

#272 - On 08/06/2009 at 3:18pm by DameGreyWulf

(0)

.

#252 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:04am by organisedchaos

(0)

Splark, I'm definately on your side these women are just being uneducated vaginas.

z0mg HOT SEX is TOTALLY worth taking such a high risk. even though the risk is about 8% (I guess it really all depends on your definition of 'high risk'."

Plan B is the same thing as regular birth control but in a higher dose. Ectopic pregnancy? Maybe in extremely rare isolated cases where it would have happened anyway. Do you even know how it works? The same way as any other birth control pill. It elevates progesterone levels in the body to trick it into thinking it's already pregnant and thus the egg exits the vagina without ever attaching to the uterine lining. In fact if you call your dog and tell him you forgot to take your birth control and then had unprotected sex do you know what he'll say? "Take 6 pills right now and you'll be fine."

Hence why you have 7 placebo pills-- it's for you to have your period. Oh and if you didn't know... if you skip those and go right to your next pack of pills you won't have your period since your body thinks you're pregnant already.

And also, the bleeding in plan B is only slightly more than normal since it's like 7 days of blood coming out in 3.

Allergic reactions-- you'll know already if you're going to be allergic to it because you will also be allergic to regular birth control pills.

Nausea- Yeah, sorry ladies (but not always!). Stomach pain- Again, glad I'm a dude (and again, not always!). But hey-- a night of great sex *could* be worth it. I guess it all depends on your point of view, how horny you are, and whether he can convince you that he's worth it.

And yes, abortions are expensive and have many many more implications aside from just cost in dollars. Wouldn't recommend it.

#254 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:18am by smpat04

(0)

While Plan B may have the same hormones as birth control, it is in much, MUCH higher doses. Seeing as you're male, you couldn't possibly understand the wacko shit the hormones in BC can do to a woman's body, but trust me on this one. Unfortunately, I've had quite a bit of experience.

#256 - On 08/06/2009 at 10:26am by theanonimouse

(0)

yes yes, take the risk so someone like smpat04 / splark can be a donor who doesnt pay child support...

younger people have difficulty understanding just how much a kid will effect your life.

#261 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:34am by spoo

(0)

Most of these people suggesting that she should do anal as a substitute for having sex are obviously guys who have never had a dick shoved up their ass. Not only is it (mostly) only pleasurable for the guy, it can also be, depending on the guy's penis size, uncomfortable or even painful for the girl. It's not really something that I would let someone who was just my friend do to me. It's different for everyone, but I don't think that it's really a good substitute for sex. It's usually just part of a sexual escapade.

OP and friend should have planned ahead better. Lesson learned for next time. The end.

#263 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am by turnedoffTVgrey

(0)

Protection is a two way street, friend. Bring your own!

#264 - On 08/06/2009 at 12:13pm by The_Cait

(0)

... Just have sex. Abortion isn't illegal, and- if you're having pre-marital sex- not immoral.

#265 - On 08/06/2009 at 1:07pm by aussie7301

(0)

at least the OP wasnt like many people that would just say screw it and take the risk and have sex without a condom resulting in a possible unwanted pregnancy or std. i applaud u OP for having some common sense. :)

#266 - On 08/06/2009 at 1:14pm by lilone08

(0)

There are plenty of other fun sexual, non-intercourse things to do. You guys need to seriously reevaluate your relationship.

Hands, toys, tongues...

Sex fail.

YDI

#267 - On 08/06/2009 at 1:15pm by funkmetalbass

(0)

I don't believe this one. There's always at least one place that's open 24/7.

#270 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:48pm by darkmis1

(0)

just pull out

#275 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:12pm by littlebrittle77

(0)

why'd you have to drive so far I mean couldn't you just find the nearest hotel??

#276 - On 08/06/2009 at 11:18pm by Swimmergrl

(0)

P...P...p...pull.....pull out!

#277 - On 08/07/2009 at 12:21am by spillproof

(0)

pulling out doesnt work. theres something called pre cum which comes out of your dick before you orgasm and it happens all through intercourse. it isnt alot but 1 drop of semen can contain 50million sperm. so good on you otherwise you could have been a daddy in 9 months. and for all those who didnt know this i may have just saved your life.

#279 - On 08/07/2009 at 1:35am by blacktile1

(0)

Don't you people realize that there are a plethora of fun sexual things you can do that don't involve penetration?

#281 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:30am by Morelcap

(0)

Called pills. Buy some.

#282 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:46am by cheeter

(0)

at least your safe.... :)

#283 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:41am by Bella_999

(0)

This is why girls need to take control of their reproductive systems.
Buy condoms, the day after pill, and get on birth control!

#284 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:23pm by InspiredByGaGa

(0)

Good Job on the not having sex without condom.

#286 - On 08/09/2009 at 12:49am by Kojay

(0)

withdrawal method?
mouths, hands, fingers? ;]

#287 - On 08/12/2009 at 8:59am by purple91

(0)

that's what oral is for.

#288 - On 08/12/2009 at 4:48pm by Vexed1988

(0)

It's called anal, genius.

YDI for not welcoming his hard, eager cock into your soft, warm ass.

#289 - On 11/26/2009 at 12:00am by derschadenfreude

(0)

it's pretty simple - the morning after pill!!!!!!!!!

#290 - On 02/14/2010 at 5:36pm by zeeble

(0)

what about 69?

#291 - On 02/25/2010 at 7:18pm by 11bellacasey

(0)

a "friend"?

#292 - On 04/15/2010 at 11:38pm by larasnowboard

(0)

walmart, open 24 hrs

#293 - On 05/06/2010 at 11:51pm by FML6

(0)

never heard of pulling out?
or just make each other orgasm without having actual sex its called using your mind

#294 - On 06/07/2010 at 10:12pm by My2864

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