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Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
At least aim for the floor! Dammit, it costs a lot of money to have a couch cleaned professionally.
You seriously owe him like oral sex on demand for a month or something.
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.