Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you totally deserved it (9098)
On 06/29/2009 at 6:59pm - misc - by peace_lost (man) - United States (California)
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Not THAT bad. Even the nastiest scratches go away pretty quickly.
No they don't. I got a scratch once from my cat, and I'll have the scar from it for the rest of my life. :|
#90 - On 07/18/2009 at 6:02pm by sodaxpopxhiccups
Haha, yeah, I've got a real nasty scar on my right shoulder from where my kitten dug in as she was jumping off me cause she freaked. It's clear as ever and it's been almost a year, it's so not going away anytime soon
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i think the last part of the picture is wrong he didnt puke he attacked and i have a cat and ive had a scratch that lasted pretty long buy now i cant find it lol so the first comment is right they scratches do go away
#120 - On 07/18/2009 at 9:47pm by cmtriplecage
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what makes her a slut? cuz shes a girl whos kissing a guy and happens to have a guy under her. some stereotypes it would be different if she was pushing him for sex.... slut no.
#122 - On 07/18/2009 at 10:13pm by Entity4Infinity
i have a scar on my chest from when a cat scratched me through my sweater about 7 years ago, still there...
& this girl i know almost had her eye removed & now has a nasty scar on her eyelid from where a cat scratched her, that one they say will never go away
#124 - On 07/18/2009 at 10:33pm by bnwranbo
I got Cat Scratch Fever from a cat scratch... and became a nice specimen for intern doctors since cases are rare now. How very nice. Yes it is a real disease, google it.
Ditto here. I have a scar on my right cheek. At least I have dimples. All my friends thought it was a laugh mark until I told them.
same here. :(
and yay, i love Bellen! Box brown is awesome. :D
#132 - On 07/19/2009 at 12:07am by TheBlueLotus
when I hear Cat Scratch Fever I just think of the song by Ted Nugent
#142 - On 07/19/2009 at 4:25am by PeaceOutBaby18
Suffertree...do you have nothing else to do but call girls sluts? Really now, this is the second comment I've seen from you that's like that within like, two minutes. Not every girl that has sex is a slut, and you're giving the impression that you've gotten burned a lot, or haven't gotten anything at all, in either case you're not even worthy of pity because you're a jackass.
He doesn't get any I can tell he wants to imagine all girls are sluts because then they'd have sex with him he has no other chance besides that
#148 - On 07/19/2009 at 11:01am by fmyfudginglife
i've got a cat-related scar too. mine goes across my left wrist, so now i look like i'm emo...
#149 - On 07/19/2009 at 11:39am by eaglesfan761
what makes her a slut it was her boyfriend not some random guy she meet at the bar???
#154 - On 07/19/2009 at 6:18pm by whitehawkcc
I have that too! I originally had Lyme Disease, and after ten years I'm just getting rid of the Bartonella. It sucks, doesn't it? Oh well. At least I don't have one over those "ten day" doctors who think that a little more than a week of zithromax will cure a disease. Doctors can be such idiots. I hope that you are in great hands, Subtle!
#158 - On 07/19/2009 at 10:44pm by kcslgvr
Cats do leave horrible scars. My mom has one on her wrist from when we were trying to keep a cat from getting preggers (she had a littler of kittens she was nursing so we couldn't get her fixed yet). It's been about three years and it's still dark, dark purple and shiny. I've got my fair share of pet related scars, just none that obvious.
Also, since it was mentioned, I hate doctors who are only in it for the money. I had tonsilitis for 6 months and saw my doctor after two weeks, a month, and three months and she insisted I was fine. The whole time my throat swelled more and more shut. I would have gone to a different doctor, but we live so far out in the country that there just isn't another one. I finally was able to see a specialist at the hospital (6 month waiting list), and he diagnosed me from the smell before he ever looked in my throat it was so severe. I'd hate to have something serious (like the diseases mentioned above) and receive the same treatment.
i have a nasty scar on my chest from my cat... that i got seven years ago. it's perfectly visable
#173 - On 07/22/2009 at 1:33am by reillyrocketfuel
I have a nasty scratch from my cat from two years ago - on the right side of my chest. You can still see it pretty clearly. Whoever said that scratches can go away easily must not have a cat..
Yeeeaaaaaah, they don't always go away. I got scratched by my cat when I was in 3rd grade. 11 years later, I still have the scar
So you were on a couch, with a hot girl on top of you, and you were yelling "Get off me, Elvis!"
#2 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:08am by Alex_DeLarge
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I agree. That's not funny.
#64 - On 06/30/2009 at 4:45pm by MeganH0LLYW00D
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poor kitty :/
i feel bad for it, not you.
#3 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:09am by lovelykendra5
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pathetic that you used the word kitty
#10 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:35am by thisishilarious
It's more like fuck the cats life. He is the one whose nap was interrupted and then physically crushed by two large creatures.
That is where Elvis meets pelvis--and then evil Elvis scratches horny pelvis.
#14 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:42am by sillypuppy
wow i seriously glanced at the post and saw like "dropped onto couch and something snapped. elivs was a kitty" and i was like "oh shit he killed her cat!" then i reread it. the real version doesnt suck nearly as much as the one i saw. haha
#15 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:44am by willowflame13
Yes, well, how happy could Elvis be with you on top of him?
#16 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:51am by theluckygirl28
i bet that is one pissed pussy, i would be too if you plopped on me! maybe you should go stroke it and make if feel better - F your girlfriend for naming her cat Elvis - does the cat sing?
#18 - On 06/30/2009 at 4:11am by SweetestSin
nice writing skills!
You're a stupid hounddog though, FYL
#21 - On 06/30/2009 at 4:20am by depechemode
big deal, you hooked up & got scratched a bit. if you killed it & she got rid of you then that would be bad.
The first sentence sounds a tad awkward. And the last sentence I expected to be something like "We killed Elvis. FML"
Poor Elvis. Im not sympathizing for you. its not a FML. for you. Its for elvis.
#32 - On 06/30/2009 at 7:05am by gorguz14evar
I don't like cats anymore, and I rlly don't know why,
I always bite my bfs cat cuz I don't like her, then I feel bad cuz I think about her feelings.
That sucks tho, tell me about the scratches:O
#33 - On 06/30/2009 at 8:03am by TanksToYou
I don't know about your boyfriend, but if my boyfriend bit my cat 'cause he didn't like her he can say good bye to the relationship for being an immature prick
#55 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:39pm by censorshipoff
Ugh. FYL and F elvis' life. That sucks. Cat scratches sting. Although for whatever reason scratches from tiny kitten sting more. Like paper cuts. lol (cat had kittens a while ago. didnt care if Mama Kitty got me, but i avoided those kitten claws. lol)
Poor cat though. always sucks to be sat on.
#34 - On 06/30/2009 at 8:37am by boatkicker
Obviously this person was just desperate to share the fact that they made out with someone. Pretty sad.
#37 - On 06/30/2009 at 10:07am by Maricely1
YDI for not watching where you were going.
caution extends further than condoms and birth-control XD
#38 - On 06/30/2009 at 10:16am by Newfie3199
For real. Next this dude's going to be like "we knocked over her dad's plasma screen tv because we were trying to walk around with our eyes fucking closed. he was pissed and punched me in the nuts. fml."
I can just picture the two of you awkwardly stumbling toward the couch while trying to avoid knocking things (and one another) over. Exert some self control and look where you're going next time. YDI.
#84 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:00am by RyeBreadBoy
Meh, but it's a nice change from the normal FML styles.
#46 - On 06/30/2009 at 11:54am by Cromwellsandwich
the op person didnt write this badly...my god. people always have to critisise people about something. and im sure i spelled that wrong...whatever! but i feel bad for the cat :(. what did the kitty end up doing?
#41 - On 06/30/2009 at 10:43am by alexgisforme3
All the FMLs today are really nicely worded. :D yay for writing skills!
Oh, and, someone had to say it:
ELVIS HAS LEEEFT THE BUILDING.
thank you, thank you very much.-lip curl-
uuuuhhh-huuuuh.
#44 - On 06/30/2009 at 11:16am by SusanaSaysRawrxD
i love the way this one was written. XD laughed my ass off.
#49 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:50pm by skittleface
This isn't really an FML. Usually if a cat gets squished they just hiss and run away, or something like that. Even if he did get defensive, he would have only scratched you a little bit. If that's the case, then I hardly think your life is going to be changed for the worse by being scratched once by a kitten!
Cute story, but saying it's an FML is just going overboard. Maybe share it on your twitter like all the other attention-grabbing tweens.
#52 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:31pm by thelonelylurker
Well if you don't like the site, you can kindly fuck off for those who do not have thirty feet of rope shoved up our asses.
So you think someone who is diabetic can't type? You need to calm down.
#74 - On 07/01/2009 at 12:32am by LavaMonster
I guess you could say the cat was... all shook up? *kneeslap*
#59 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:41pm by dolphin_8p
People kiss with their eyes closed usually. I can't imagine how awkward it would be just watching my boyfriend as he's kissing me...
#192 - On 07/27/2009 at 1:15pm by redblueviolet
This is honestly the worst, most pathetic FML I've ever seen. I can't believe it got past moderation and was posted. GET OVER IT. I was waiting to read that you crushed dear Elvis and he was too dead to be "very angry."
Um...who in hell walks while making out? ALWAYS look where you're going. Stupid.
#71 - On 06/30/2009 at 9:14pm by Sprinter136
My teachers cat is named Elvis. . . She's married. Dun Dun Duunnn
#72 - On 06/30/2009 at 9:58pm by littlegirllove
"Elvis was very angry" might be the funniest sentence I've read today.
"dropped our bodies" might be the weirdest phrase, however.
#76 - On 07/01/2009 at 12:34am by Escapist28
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLLOOLOLOLOLOLOL!
I'm sorry, that just made me laugh. : D
I hope you didn't get and really serious scratches on your back.
Bet it ruined the mood a bit though.
Let me guess, after you got up, Elvis left the building? lol
#86 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:45am by beemerman54
Poor cat;
he's probably thinking his owner brought home another asshole. :]
#88 - On 07/05/2009 at 2:50pm by kelsey_LYNN
Well, that sucks. Unless she offered to play the part of the nurse that heals your scratches afterwords? Watch out next time.
#89 - On 07/10/2009 at 1:32pm by GreatAwakening
Maybe elvis was just jelious of that guy with girl.... :P
#91 - On 07/18/2009 at 6:14pm by MrSurferDude
Yeah I have to agree too. It's annoying when the art is good (which is obviously the hardest part), and then decide to do something stupid with the comic.
#181 - On 07/23/2009 at 5:46pm by divineinstrument
i was expecting to see furious kitty fight in the comic. i am disappointed.
#93 - On 07/18/2009 at 6:14pm by shankzilla
"Troll... in the dungeons... thought you ought to know. -faints-" -Professor Quirell
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Harry Potter. What's it to ya? XD
#193 - On 07/27/2009 at 1:19pm by redblueviolet
should've watched where you were going.
the drawings cute.
#104 - On 07/18/2009 at 6:56pm by OMIGODNOWAI
This illustration is meh, the condoms one was much better
#105 - On 07/18/2009 at 7:04pm by unluckydavid
The illustration is adorable, I love how the cat was drawn, but the artist's storytelling skills are lacking, as they could have made it all so much funnier if they had stuck to the story and shown angry Elvis and all on the spot. The revenge puke was not in the original FML and was rather anticlimatic. I was expecting to see him claw them. XD)
Bahahahaha. That sux...
But like what #107 said, I was expecting to see the cat clawing instead of puking...
But Kool comic :]
I agree about the comic. "Revenge Puke"? That's pretty sad. and worse, the story clearly did not end with the cat running away and puking
#115 - On 07/18/2009 at 8:13pm by ForestFire0
aw that sucks for elvis. he was probly scared by that. i feel bad for the cat. you on the other hand, not so much.
I have scars where a cat attacked my nose when I was younger, cats seem cute and cuddly but they can be very vengeful. . .
#127 - On 07/18/2009 at 10:47pm by i2osie
Today, while at the mall I was goin down the elscelator when I see my best guy friend, I then run down to jump on his back, I tripped... Ran into him and broke his nose, it wasnt my friend, FML
How about you work on your grammar, spelling, and everything else. Then submit it properly instead of tacking it onto an existing FML like a tard =)
#170 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:38pm by Travestie616
People like you are the reason Justin Timberlake's still on the radio. The illustration followed the exact words of the FML, boring.
Not really, the illustration implies that the cat puked on the OP. It would seem that the OP got lots of scratches and bites instead.
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the FML was good. but why did the exact words of the FML have to be in the drawing?
#140 - On 07/19/2009 at 3:18am by xxxradajamaajxxx
Because people were complaining about the previous illustrations deviating too much from the FML.
I guess the artist was just playing it safe.
I'm calling shenanigans.... I have a scar from my cat who scratched inside my arm 7 years ago. I also have one from another cat of mine in my elbow from when I gave her a bath, 4 years ago...
They don't always go away that fast.
#147 - On 07/19/2009 at 10:44am by BitterButterfly
rooooofl, 'elvis was very angry' made me giggle. but thats about it. mediocre FML, shitty illustration.
#155 - On 07/19/2009 at 7:27pm by alealovespurple
the illustration is good
but I was under the impression it ended with the cat clawing the OP not puking.
Love the drawing style, it's very...rustic looking. However, the artist's rendition was anticlimactic to put it nicely. The FML was so open-ended with "Elvis was very angry" and all he does is ralph? How boring!
#162 - On 07/20/2009 at 3:00pm by rayrayy
I don't know about you but when I want to get someone back, I don't tend to throw up on them. Then again, I'm not a cat.
#164 - On 07/20/2009 at 6:14pm by OldCowsScareMax
Ummm....I'm not really sure where everyone has assumed he got scratched....He never said he did..He just said Elvis was mad. People assumed Elvis scratched him because of the first poster nonchalantly saying that scratches heal quickly, to which many responded with valid opposing examples. I say it sucks that they landed on the act, though I think the cat had more right to complain than the humans do in this instance. I can understand closing your eyes while kissing, but if you trying to move at the same time, you need to either keep your eyes open or break the kiss.
#165 - On 07/20/2009 at 11:26pm by the1truebob
Everyone assumed he got scratched because the common assumption is that cats scratch (more than puke) when they're angry.
#172 - On 07/22/2009 at 12:54am by OldCowsScareMax
*gasp* POOR KITTY!
You idiot!
LOL JK. I hate cats...
Still though, FYL
#167 - On 07/21/2009 at 1:03am by unlucky_angel02
what kind of a cat says "Mrow" and "Hork"? Come on Box! lol.
#168 - On 07/21/2009 at 8:31am by FMLSJS
boring illustration. the cat seems bored, not angry. and the Fml is stupid too.
#171 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:39pm by Casualt1234
i got a nasty scratch on my breast. (right on the nipple!) it went threw my shirt.
now there's a scar. ughhh D: stupid cat.
#174 - On 07/22/2009 at 3:00am by cuterthanuthink
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All cats are pieces of shit. To truly give a cat what it deserves one must put it in a bag and sling it into the ocean. I used to have cats. They would bring things into the house, like birds, then gut them on the carpet. The only thing that I found amusing is when my parents would beat them and shove their nose into the animal guts. They can get pretty damn loud when the shit is getting beaten out of them. Does that count for animal abuse?
#177 - On 07/22/2009 at 10:44pm by redxapplexoxo
wen i was six.. ii was sleping next to my cat.. hu just so happened to have an abcess on her paw.. she woke up.. saw me.. and scratched my entire face.. no scars though.. yay!!..
Yeah i have a scar from my cat too, from my ankle to my knee XDD my cat thought it would be funny to slide down my leg off of my lap like a tree -.-''
#190 - On 07/25/2009 at 5:01am by SilentParade
this one is the dumbest fml i have ever heard... if THAT is an fml... my god i would hate to see anything worse happen to you besides semi skwooshing a stupid cat and getting it "angry"...
I like the panel with the kitty kneading ^.^
knead-knead-knead! XD
#200 - On 08/27/2009 at 7:44pm by darling_inwe
Whoever illustrates these things needs to die in a fire. All they do is take the FML and make it shittier and less funny. I cannot think of a way the illustrator could have further missed the point.
Unless the cat clawed your unmentionables, how it this an F' your life? More like an F' your cat's life, seeing as he was minding his own business and suddenly somebody sat on him. How would you feel if someone 20 times your size just plopped down on you while you were sleeping? You're an idiot for posting something so stupid; F' your girlfriend's cat's life for having to deal with you, and an owner dumb enough to date an attention whore.
actually it doesn't say anything about being scratched... evis could've done anything
#207 - On 12/12/2009 at 4:29pm by wartyfingle
Changing the story was a bad choice, it was funny the first time. The style is also unoriginal, I've seen it before. It was funny the way it was originally told.
#209 - On 01/03/2010 at 7:34pm by thegriffin88
