Miscellaneous: Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in...

By Saucy - 26/06/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 50 567

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Same thing different taste

Dishwasher issues

By 3Airwalk3 - 16/02/2010 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 991

You deserved it 36 140

Laundry Day

By daqueen009 - 18/12/2020 17:04 - United States

Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 645

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 228

By arose - 08/09/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 166

You deserved it 3 299

By CMANIA - 07/09/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 024

You deserved it 6 625

By broke_kid - 03/01/2010 13:18 - United States

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 15 007

Spunky

By grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 438

You deserved it 5 436

By Anonymous - 24/05/2019 20:07

Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 161

Whatcha been up to?

By Just another Dude - 02/10/2017 13:00

Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 966

By asdfghjkl - 10/02/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 26 105

ohhhhshizzz 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:12

I moderated this. Aw, that sucks. Can't you just tide pen it over it though?

cactus_fml 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:14

I think people take the phrase F my life too literally. It's not something you say only when your life is seriously ******. It's like something you say when something irritating or awkward or ironic happens, like if you waited for 30 minutes in line to get an ice cream, and then immediately dropped it, and it also happened to land on your really expensive white shoes. On a side note, when I first read this I thought it said marijuana sauce and was confused for a second. Lol, and I don't even smoke weed.

Comments

ohhhhshizzz 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:12

I moderated this. Aw, that sucks. Can't you just tide pen it over it though?

iHavetoPiss 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:59

I agree with you # 1. And besides, this FML is stupid. Not even a FML. It's a "Oh gosh, I'm stupid" moment.

fmlAllStar7274 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 3:30

agree, most FMLs lately suck

lifewithsarah 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:21

be nice :)

kb26hockey 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:32

yeah i was gonna say, tide to go gets out marinara sauce, but not highlighter?

AnaMaree 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 5:10

It's still an FML even though it's stupid.

cactus_fml 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:14

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 9:51

I read it as marijuana sauce too!

alexandruhhhhx 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:43

same here.. i was wondering what marijuana sauce consisted of, i wasn't sure... haha

whatacoolkid 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:57

dee dee deee! My children, this is an example of a FAIL!!

chelzy 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 5:27

lol. I agree with 53. not an **** my life but a FAIL my life. and btw, 53, ur sexy.

isantorin 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:13

and this is why you look before you grab.

Whirling_Kumquat 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 5:08

Thats what she said.

KumoFF7 3

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:02

lmao

Uh_OhLmao 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 9:25

roflmao

cumberbunny 17

Wednesday 4 June 2014 22:30

#51 Not to you.

lukewarmocha 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:14

hahahaha sorry. but agree that it's not the end of anything..

Danieeru 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:14

Ugh...that totally sucks.

evanwilliams 4

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:15

How did you fit in your desk?

ohhhhshizzz 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:17

I'm not fat and I spill things all time, I'm just really clumsy maybe the OP is too.

evanwilliams 4

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:20

Uh thanks for the update bro, I'll file that under "don't give a shit"

isantorin 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:26

he's trying to say how someone can spill things without being fat like you're implying OP is. Reading comprehension, get some?

evanwilliams 4

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:28

Comprehension of sarcasm and 'taking things literally'? Get some?

blargity 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:30

#5 obviously they're hands were small enough to fit in there and to #10 it isn't like they deserve it because it isnt funny, asshole but i guess they could have done what #1 suggested unless they left their tide pen somewhere else

evanwilliams 4

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:32

Good thing they're[sic] hands were small enough to fit, I couldn't have figured that out without your eloquent explanation.

isantorin 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:39

have it, thanks for your concern. you, however, should've addressed ohhhhshizzz, not me.

evanwilliams 4

Saturday 27 June 2009 2:42

Good call.

Bumlove89 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 3:11

Wow you guys need to look up what sarcasm means.

snavula 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 4:25

#5, your idea of sarcasm is simply lame. I would assume that's why you're getting shit for it. Your snide comebacks in defense of your initial statement are kinda pathetic since you were defending a shitty comment to begin with.