By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 336
You deserved it 1 886
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

HyperTek 16

What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D

50 2

Comments

disasterlydeed 26

That must have sucked

22 42
awildwhisper 30

I would have said "Father, my mouth is open, teach me your ways!"

38 1
Talis99 26

Does anyone think these shit-ass puns are going to get upvotes? And I hope that's not you in the pic because it looks like a sex doll rolled in cinnamon or something.

12 40
whysobeachy 37

Woah, calm the **** down, #10. No need to get rude about this. How somebody looks does not, in any way, influence what they say.

21 4
gatorclay97 28

I laughed my ass of at the sexdoll in cinnamon thing ?

30 2
TheNewGuy03 28

10 ... is kinda right. 1's picture really does look exactly like 10's description.

2 1
disasterlydeed 26

Yes this is really really me don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful <33333

1 1
CheekyRaccoon 27

Well you don't get an offer to suck on nipples of knowledge everyday, so I'd assume he accepted.

30 1
vikky538 28

Say yes to the nipples!! said nobody ever before!!!

0 10
HyperTek 16

What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D

50 2
rebel33 10

I am so sorry. That must have been traumatizing.

3 24
toasted1 13

Your dad sounds rad. I hope you suckled from his time-tempered tried n true teats!

29 2
TheNewGuy03 28

I would personally LOVE to meet a dad like this. We'd be instant best friends.

19 2
TheKingOfHearts 19

You know want thing I like better than nipples? KNOWLE- (gets pushed off a cliff)

4 17
anonymous198913 26

At least your boyfriend knows he can be relaxed around your father. It's better than your father threatening him the whole time (which happens with overprotective parents)

13 1
SecundusSecunda 27

If I was your boyfriend I would've definitely laughed at that! Or perhaps I would have replied with some "edited" Meet the Fockers line like: "I have nipples, (insert dad's name here), could you milk my nipples for knowledge?

10 0