Anonymous
Great Malvern, United Kingdom
Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
James
Gordon says you SUCK
Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML
Anonymous
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
sarah4241
Belfast, United Kingdom
Masterchef
Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML
Anonymous
Zagreb, Croatia
Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML
Anonymous
United States
Never say easy
Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Anonymous
Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Annon
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Idiots, idiots everywhere
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
francesa_loca
Canada
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
burned
United States
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Top comments
Wizardo 33
The fire is there just like the cooking skills you can't see, muggles.
pdp_fml 21
He should watch some you tube videos to learn how to cook.
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Comments (111)
pdp_fml 21
He should watch some you tube videos to learn how to cook.
pugpuggy 21
Howtobasic?
Lilxpie 18
He will learn all that he needs to with HowToBasic, their specialty is eggs.
HersheySquirts 17
At least he didn't turn on the gas without lighting it.
PIGaming 21
In my opinion, dont go with Howtobasic. Their videos seem to go a bit off topic.
Lilxpie 18
#104 - Shhh. They must never know the secrets until they watch him.
DonPandon 15
Lol?
CobraLazerFace 21
Better than trying to microwave them.
glabberfasted 16
Why? You can microwave eggs to cook them, a lot of people do. At least a microwave would be using heat.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Don't know if troll or just stupid. And microwave ovens don't use heat; they use microwaves, hence the name..
glabberfasted 16
Microwaves convert directly to heat, which is what cooks the food...
glabberfasted 16
Also, a lot of people do indeed use microwave ovens to scramble their eggs. Not everyone has a working stove top to use.
drewflav 17
Microwaved eggs... they're disgusting. I'd rather give up scrambled eggs than eat them cooked that way again. You'd be better off boiling them inside a coffee pot!
Jemm_fml 29
Subway microwaves all their eggs for their sandwiches. lots of people do this.
10showgirl 16
i microwave eggs
NeatNit 32
Yeah but if you put it in too long it explodes. I know this, sadly, from experience.
buttcramp 21
I've never tried to microwave eggs.. now I'm super interested in microwaving experiments lol
Dthsapprntc 23
#33, and this is why I don't order eggs at subway. Why microwave when using a fryingpan is so easy? Put fryingpan on medium low heat (you have to remember to turn on the stove for this to work) add bacon drippings, or fry bacon, then add eggs. Easy over for me please. Delicious.
bfsd42 20
20, microwaves excite the water molecules in the food, which then vibrate, thus generating heat. The microwaves convert indirectly to heat, so the other guy was right.
Elfroid 10
Crack 2 eggs into a saucer. whisk gently and season. microwave for approx a minute and a half. you now have a bread sized egg patty.
leary96 15
Microwaves don't "convert" to heat. They make the water molecules vibrate and create friction, releasing heat as a byproduct.
Soloman212 28
69 and 94, you guys are definitely correct, but are getting kinda technical. The first guys point was that at least a microwave would heat the eggs, directly or indirectly, unlike an off gas stove.
crazytwinsmom 25
Scrambled eggs in mw work best if you mix them up about every 10-15 seconds and don't over cook. For fun, crack an egg into a really small bowl and seal with plastic wrap then mw til it starts bouncing around.
Jellybellybeanz 22
Some people are just special lol
Queensland 27
You mean to say you haven't done something silly? It's just one of those things... He isn't "special". I bet you've put the milk in the pantry or tried to look for something you were holding. Our brains fart sometimes!
Traitoro 9
Exactly, I've lost my phone while watching tv on it...
jazzy_123 20
I took the gallon of milk to my room once and left it on the bed by accident. When I went to the fridge about and hourvlater it wasn't there and I was sad. Then another hour later when I went to my room I saw it there on my bed x) things like that happen. Doesn't mean we're "special" in any way.
Meettitan 14
You're all retarded.
kingvssj0 9
Dude that's the his brother don't be rude
AlexRen 21
Or getting hit by a parked car.
holeyman 8
Not "special", this dude was stoned. I remember my first joint
Wizardo 33
The fire is there just like the cooking skills you can't see, muggles.
DR9614 4
Wouldn't this be an FML for him instead of you?
casual_commenter 9
It must be an FML for OP because they are embarrassed to claim the brother as family!
raj777 5
new experiment may be? ;)
ErinRosado 14
Maybe is one word.
Vesoc 1
Grammar nazi alert!
usernamepurp 8
It's rather hilarious yo hear how stupid some of these people are
Raidriar 14
That's actually why FML exists. The more you know, right?
HeatherFeatherB 31
And you're so smart you checked your spelling before posting!
chutney_02 22
We all have those days
el_mermaid 16
some people are like this everyday
gshocker20 21
This is an awful FML
vucui 21
Indeed. What an odd FML for the community to vote for and the mods to say, "Yeah, alright."