Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
evan_7899 28
Fly:1 Idiot:0
luckysilverbell 5
It's FMLs like this one that make me wish I had a penis.
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Comments (93)
evan_7899 28
Fly:1 Idiot:0
BillMurray_fml 12
We've all been there.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
Can this guy remove the country identification? He is making us look bad.
PuggieKid 22
'I thought it would be funny to...' Me: okay. YDI.
TheTacoMan 24
Dammit Sergeant! We Lost Em!
Zverina 20
Nothing wrong with a little mobile target practice.
StiffPvtParts 43
A similar thing happened to me once. I was talking a piss, and a fly flew into the stream of my urine. I felt really bad about it, so I saved it from drowning (._.)
parism143 28
That sounds so gross. How did you save it? By fishing it out?
TheTacoMan 24
If I was the guy who walked in, I would have joined him.
dachayke 16
#28 so, when's the next PETA meeting?
thexguyxnextdoor 10
Dude I never do this, but you deserve it.
ohcheriecherie 20
YDI for being a 4 year old
bellebe1998 16
Its good to have a little fun once in awhile.
kwyk 23
emphasis on little... heh heh.
luckysilverbell 5
It's FMLs like this one that make me wish I had a penis.
TheMathMajor 26
It would be pretty fun to aim your pee at things.
OctoDope 15
Indeed it is, Ive patented a few trick shots over the years like "the long shot", "through the legs", and "death from above", the final one you stand on any object higher than the throne and take aim.
GingerRoot 13
It would be wild to spell my name in snow
reaxion 25
You can borrow mine any time you like :-P
Watermelon777 3
that was smooth as **** #38
Clay_Pidgeon 11
did you just call yourself smooth as ****?
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Hmmm. So girls want a penis, and guys want breasts (just so they can touch them anytime for no reason at all)?
ReignInBlood 11
This whole conversation fascinates me. I hate dicks and all, but it WOULD be interesting to aim my pee at stuff...
TheTacoMan 24
#61 there is a reason, if you don't get the reason, then you may be a little to young for this site. (Hint: boobs are arousing to men and penises are arousing to women)
TheTacoMan 24
Don't forget "Hell Fire"#15! It's when you piss on the roof and get the piss to drip into the toilet!
matoaka_fml 10
Good job dumbass.
Acar13 5
Did you at least clean up?
perdix 29
Tell him to whip it out and start peeing at the fly, too!
OctoDope 15
It would be unfair to the fly at that point, The fly should bring a pal and make it like a deathmatch... flies win if they can successfully land on and clog the urethra.
junkman6 22
Don't cross the streams!!!
OscarDV 8
Hitting flying flys with your stream is like the Olympics. I'm sure they'll be trained enough to avoid each others. I, on the other hand, maybe literally, would probably pee all over myself with my aim =/
jonnied23 20
Keep practicing, soon you will be able pee on moving objects with ease
Spyingcheeseman 8
Spraying and praying doesnt usually work.
dachayke 16
Unless you're talking about goldeneye 64.
imhope 23
FHL
Spyingcheeseman 8
who's?