Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
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Top comments
Rozza17 29
Hey, you were at a bar. The person was probably just mega pissed
UnluckyGenius 21
Maybe he was laughing at himself for wrongly believing he stood a chance with you.
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Comments (65)
Rozza17 29
Hey, you were at a bar. The person was probably just mega pissed
ashalayx 13
or mega drunk
SmuggletheBudgie 15
In Australia or Straya, pissed has two meanings. The emotion of being pissed off at something/ someone and the act of getting pissed. To get pissed is to get very drunk. the term piss is also used for alcohol in general For example "Aye get us a couple of Pots/Schooners of piss would ya ****/mate. (the term **** generally being used to refer to a good friend and the term mate used for strangers and those we are pissed off at. Just clearing up #1's comment for those not literate in Australian lingo.
Wizardo 33
That's the same across the world, none more so than beautiful England you beautiful pissheads.
supras_fml 4
Yeah that's not an Australian thing, it has that double meaning everywhere :)
theaaxis 27
Not in America, which is probably why she was confused xD Here it means either to be angry or to pee. XD
Dawnstempest 17
@ 36 We use it to mean beer too. Especially the trashy stuff (piss water), but it goes for general alcohol too.
theaaxis 27
Maybe it didn't make it to Cali, we've always been the weird ones x)
incoherentrmblr 21
Andy Stitzer, is that you?...
supras_fml 4
Yep
Alhamdulilah 15
Maybe he saw a moustache on your face.
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
I wonder how amazing the person looks that that they can act like that. Mean can make you very ugly .
infinitegrace 21
Don't let that bring you down! Don't worry about them, you'll find someone.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Hun, that person was just a huge, drunk ****. Don't worry OP, drunk people are mostly just assholes and you wouldn't even want to end up with someone like that :)
KushCrushin89 10
What if OP actually is that ugly though? I mean let's face it, not everyone is attractive.
infinitegrace 21
That's true. But someone will find them attractive one day. #46 & to #28 stop being a thread jacker.
UnluckyGenius 21
Maybe he was laughing at himself for wrongly believing he stood a chance with you.
rbubbles 20
People can be soo harsh sometimes. Don't let it get to you and don't stop trying. Good luck OP :)
ThomasBombadil 31
Next time be prepared to do something back even worse to a jerk like this.
paigexox0 37
Well that'd be a hit to the self esteem
saocrates 16
Only if you let it get to you. After all it's just some asshat in bar.
annie_nk 22
I'm going with the "he might be on drugs" thing because he walked out after the first person. Why? Doesn't speed dating involve more than one person to talk to?
zen1979 16
Ignore them. You're beautiful. End of story.
Nilorak 24
Why all the periods?
tulha 12
Were you holding up a mirror? That jerk might have been laughing at his own face :)