Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
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Top comments
rick1 8
... Why would someone even willingly do that? Nasty.
sarah6786 14
Protein. Several legged protein.
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Comments (109)
rick1 8
... Why would someone even willingly do that? Nasty.
Sea_shelle 12
Nutritious!
IworkAt711 14
Because its METAL!!! m/
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Night time snack
PuggieKid 22
Training for Fear Factor
Redtick 9
You're completely right. I mean, who knows how long it was dead for.
ThePK 5
If there was one thing I learned from Bear Grylls, it's that's insects are a great source of protein while stranded in the wilderness. I guess your father just feels lost in his own home...or he's really trying to scare you out of the house.
Soloman212 28
Yeah I know! Swallow without chewing?? You gotta give your dad some pointers in proper dining etiquette, OP.
happle 21
28 Or too much of The Lion King.
Wizzlbang 10
#40 Yeah, it's kinda funny how people in the western world will pay through the nose for a a wild caught lobster dinner, which was feeding on sea detritus and fish poop and who knows what, then turn their nose up at grain-fed panfried crickets. arthropods is arthropods, folks (don't eat bugs you just find on the ground, though, that's gross.)
girlbye23 15
*Cleveland voice*
RedPillSucks 33
dip it in chocolate or wrap it in bacon.
NikkiRainbow63 31
Mmmm. Protein x3
truedat11 1
.....no comment....
DFresh503 8
True dat... I mean that. Sorry was brushing my teeth
sarah6786 14
Protein. Several legged protein.
Arrow44 10
Alright Bear Grylls, calm down.
djPanda 8
This is funny why do people not like this
sadistmonkey 19
Actually, even Bear Grylls avoided eating centipedes...
Kamon97 23
I never knew Bear Grylls had a daughter! :o
tannara 12
Don't knock it until you try it
tannara 12
Ya, favourite snack
EpicSquishii 21
Well I'm assuming it's not dangerous. Gross to watch, yes. But people eat creepy crawlies all over the world on a regular basis, so he probably won't get sick. Your dad is brave, but I feel sorry for his wife who has to kiss him later.
ksks1234 33
Do you know if the venom would do anything? I know muy, muy little about entomology, so sorry for my ignorance.
Ian7890 23
OP didn't say anything about it being harmful, they just said it was horrifying.
Mossears133 15
60- It's perfectly safe to ingest venom as long as you don't have any cuts on your innards (if it gets into your bloodstream, you're ******). It's poison you can't ingest.
missrebecca3 8
if I was his wife. he'd be waiting a week before I'd kiss him ... ewww
Lacist 19
Yeah and to be honest, how does this affect your life at all? So horrible that you witnessed it, oh nooooo...
TyT63 12
is your dad bear grylls
Headcrab 29
was going to ask the same thing...
Aussieinusa 5
He didn't drink his own piss, so no. More like survivor man
TyT63 12
he ate weird bugs and stuff all the time on that show. drinking his own piss is just a meme
Aussieinusa 5
Last time I saw the show, he shoved a water tube up his ass lol. There are things you can't unsee, that was one of them.
FrankHotpants 31
No, if he was he would have washed it down with his own urine.
DocBastard 40
Hey, it was already dead. Can't let that go to waste, especially not in this economy.
HortonThelephant 15
What a sick bastard.
red225 14
That's doctor sick bastard
Schiffy 18
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Sick Bastard to you.
etishuman22 32
Is he suffering from a deficiency? Maybe a deficiency of reason?
TheCamoWulf 17
NOPE NOPE NOPE
hallix 21
My whole brain just shut down from the horrific idea - I'm absolutely terrified of centipedes.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Slimy yet satisfying.
iseebearbears 27
I've yet to find a slimy centipede.
HeavenlyAura 15
I think it was a Lion King reference.
allie2590 31
81 - That's what I thought too.