Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML
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Top comments
bummerbums 16
You walked into that one.
golden_warrior 23
Who the **** pays to watch ****?
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Comments (53)
jackeo 3
Oooo. That must b awkward
ViRepz 28
But then he wouldn't have room for the extra o.
mFUNdo21 17
troll mum strikes again!
TheCanucklehead 22
Who cares about the extra 'o' when he can't add a '.' at the end
Deresius 12
#1 Get out.
bummerbums 16
You walked into that one.
thehumanlyhuman 7
Of all the things I would joke about with my mom, an Internet **** addiction is not at the top of list..
perdix 29
#2, better to walk INTO that one than to walk IN ON that one, if you know what I mean ;)
Dracoboxer357 35
Lol, either you stumbled across an awkward truth or you just got trolled! Just let it go, you're better off not knowing for sure. ;)
NeatNit 32
Agreed. Give her (and yourself) the benefit of the doubt.
ApollosMyth 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Either way, it's probably not a smart idea to talk to your mom about why y'all are short on cash.
mFUNdo21 17
um yes it is. then you can cut down on unnecessary costs because you'll have a better understanding of the financial situation
Sfaizi24 17
Depending on how old op is both of you could be right.
golden_warrior 23
Who the **** pays to watch ****?
MikeonFML 17
I could see the temptation for on demand on a big hd tv every once in a while, but with an hdmi cable that's hardly worthwhile.
ottokat 15
Yes, let's get into an in depth discussion.
MrSassypants 33
#18, well then, it is usually a dollar to unlock unlimited access to giantgalaticasses.com for a day. If you keep paying a dollar for a day, in a year you would have payed around $365 a year (plus tax). You could pay $24 dollars a month instead to watch the endless amount of ass and end up only paying around $288. You save around $60. Another way is just to pay the $150 just for the year and unlock ultimate access to high quality ass. I think the smartest one is buy the lifetime membership that costs only $500 and they send you a free t-shirt that says "I have Lifetime to watch GiantGiganticAsses.com" and then OP's mom could wear it very proudly.
golden_warrior 23
25 - you need Jesus, lol
mFUNdo21 17
#5, you pay for the internet, therefore indirectly paying for the **** you watch on the net?
perdix 29
#32, you're technically right, it should be "who pays extra for ****?" When you get Internet access, you are buying access to an all-you-can-eat buffet of data. If you want to consume lots of sausage and tuna tacos, you can do so without extra fees.
Trish01 23
#25, which one is it - GiantGalacticAsses.com or GiantGiganticAsses.com? The former sounds better ;)
icemand90 17
or you could watch **** from the many free stream sites for nothing more than your monthly internet bill..... :)
MrSassypants 33
#44 I meant GiantGalaticAsses throughout, but I I guess my brain was thinking of GiantGiganticAsses instead.
IloveToLaugh143 21
Lots of sausage and tuna tacos...
wrestlelaxskate 11
#18 and you know all this why?
paolino_fml 18
I stole my friend's account, so technically I watch it for free. :p
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Not something you want to hear from your mom...
thehuntress309 12
Well at least she's possibly honest. Lol
CloudStrife97 9
You pay for the best kinda ****.
woiz 11
yeah,BTW how do u know ??
Vidrill 22
To ensure maximum awkwardness give your mom some tips about where to find some good, free ****.