Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year-old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML
Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
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Top comments
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Why are you thinking about your grandma having sex?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Ask to join her posse. Meet some new people
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Comments (97)
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Ask to join her posse. Meet some new people
soccerstar1996 18
Ask to join an illegal biker gang? No offense, but does that really sound like the smartest thing to do?
LukeE45 10
Last I checke biker gangs aren't illegal
ForwardUn2Dawn 18
That was my exact thought while reading this. It's never too late to change your life and add some excitement. Get out there and live life.
AKGirlinSD 20
The word "notorious" before "biker gang" is a negative connotation. I'm pretty sure OP's grandma doesn't want to do illegal things with her grandson. OP, go online to make friends or hang out with people from work :-).
ShyAnn29 14
Biker gangs aren't illegal, sometimes the members might do illegal things though.
TheDrifter 23
Certain ones are illegal here. They've been declared "criminal organizations" like the mob.
tjv3 10
Hang out with her more and learn young grasshopper
bikerguy97 3
G
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Why are you thinking about your grandma having sex?
puggypark 14
Holy crap, why are you OP?
corporatescoundr 25
Didn't even register until you said something #2... OP... You gots some 'splainin' to do
Ameel_fml 19
My thoughts exactly! If I found out my grandma was in a biker gang, there are plenty of things that would cross my mind (her safety, how great it is that she has a hobby, what her friends are like, etc). How much sex she's getting wouldn't be one of them. lol
MrConcise 34
I only imagine he had to find out somehow...
Catkam623 27
Sheesh guys get your mind out if the gutter op was obviously talking action and adventure not naughty things.
welandedonthemoo 5
Lol right.
cmac86 23
wonder what ol Freud would say about this?
jcaxel 6
Lmao i would be so proud if i heard that
journeytotheend 16
Well actually. She wouldn't be part of the gang.. More of an old type.. So she probably gets passed around.
andrewturtle 16
Why would you say that? There are some things that shouldn't be said, and that's one of them, you sick bastard.
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Hello?!? Ask her to join! (Saracasm)
Kallian_fml 21
What's saracasm? Is it some new version of sarcasm? Or is that what you say when a girl named Sara has an ******?
eternal_malaise 10
Not necessarily that gang but even a bicycle club would be an improvement if the OP is an introvert.
singer0421 32
Once you're a member of a bike gang, you don't leave.
Allennis44 16
This is some Sons of Anarchy shit.
imaCONartist 15
Where I'm from it's very true, so I can assure that it's not just some crap made up for your entertainment. I'm not saying it's like that everywhere, of course, I obviously wouldn't know, but..
alycion 38
True in the places I have lived as well 52. Not all are bad, but the people I know in them that have gotten away were always glad they left the lifestyle.
josebaseball11 14
You're life really must suck if you have to think about the action your grandma is getting...FYL.
jackien1 6
Your*
Squirrel1256 15
Don't take it personally OP, some people just have an easier time connecting with others. I am not one one of those people either, sometimes we have to go out of our way to get noticed.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Yep I am in the same as you. But I don't like to go out and meet people so I have no chance but you do op. so good luck hope ya find some good people to be friends with.
jarockstar27 10
Yeah I am the same way, I usually turn people off more than make lasting friends with someone. It's hard to make true friends.....but when u do meet those people, treasure them OP.
ghostanimal 8
Things will brighten up OP. :)
Shy_Anne 10
Hang out with your grandma.