Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, I hope it was snot too hard to explain.
KylieMangion 22
I cannot believe why a grown man would do that to his own baby O.O
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Comments (99)
ApollosMyth 22
Well, I hope it was snot too hard to explain.
MrSassypants 33
Or that he should, booger off. Get it? Like bug off but it makes.... no sense.... **** I SUCK!
wingedangel123 8
@27 No worries, you've redeemed your HONOUR by admitting it. Now you have punty of time to study up! ... ...yes I admit that was bad, too.
Shy_Anne 10
Are you married to Peter Griffin?
ApollosMyth 22
No, no I am not. Surprisingly common question though.
CanadiAnM8 24
His fingers have been in other holes besides his nostrils. Like his mouth after picking his nose? Or other holes
KylieMangion 22
I cannot believe why a grown man would do that to his own baby O.O
Ebola_fml 20
Well it'd be gross to do it to your own hair.
depocadoll 15
That is disgusting and abusive. What kind of pathetic person tread their own child that way? I'd divorce that lame excuse for a man.
jesustitts 20
Calm down.. He just wiped boogers in the baby's hair.. It's not like he hit it.
Caitie_kid 8
That's really gross... She should start wiping boogers in his hair while he sleeps if he doesn't stop.
tommylover842 23
It would be even more gross if he did it to someone else's baby...
depocadoll 15
Your baby must be really happy with you as a parent, since you think mistreating a baby that can't defend itself is "no big deal".
lolen2910 3
some babies eat their own shit and your arking up because he wiped some boogers on his own childs head- who i hope has baths so its not like there is a collections of boogers on this kids head. i personally think its hilarious! but i assume youre a close minded christian with a bible shoved up their ass. you have no right being on FML
fuckpeople307 5
Someone needs to learn to be a better father
Darkblade21 20
Someone needs to learn to stop taking douche bag shirtless selfies.
DFresh503 8
Faceless shirtless selfless at that hahahaha. OP should introduce her husband to a box of Kleenex and make him use those instead of the babies head... ******* people are so dumb!
ohSNAPyall 26
Yes, introduce your husband to a box of Kleenex. And if he doesn't stop wiping boogers in baby's hair, he'll need those tissues for a second reason.
kingbrizo 24
im sure the baby does a good enough job putting his OWN boogers in his hair, without the extra help. but, you know what they say: the more the merrier!
Nyx_fml 23
Yeah, probably OP's husband thought that just made it a victimless crime.
girlrome 19
Wow. You've got yourself quite a sophisticated husband there.
slooby_fml 25
That is so messed up
JE553 9
I've herd boogers give your hair a great shine
ApollosMyth 22
And it's a cheap way to dye your hair green.
Welshite 39
You're doing it wrong. Boogers cannot be herded, but are awesome on leashes.
annie_nk 22
And doubles as gel!
JE553 9
#10 Damn, I guess all the money I put into a booger barn is wasted now
NoNamesFree 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Incoming "sticky situation" comments. Prepare yourselves people.
little_one 20
Kleenex!!! Tissue!!! Something else! My god how is snotty baby hair better tossing a tissue? You would have to wash that out or something? Nasty.
katnissmellark_fml 15
what if the boogers are the baby's and not your husband? just a thought.
ApollosMyth 22
My guess is she saw it happen.