Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
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Top comments
Peeves_fml 17
Scumbag lottery
mzrobinson 13
Sell it and use the money for cake!
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Comments (85)
Peeves_fml 17
Scumbag lottery
oj101 33
Surely, the store couldn't change it for something of equal value?
snowby2 15
use it as a gift for somebody else :)
Verst 16
Hey, now you have a gift for a friend or a loved one. EDIT: I didn't read #34 before commenting, my bad.
tomgun_fml 16
FREE WINE wait...
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
You're so funny, wait...
tomgun_fml 16
Hahaha... You suck wait...
Zlinder666 12
Drink up!
slycooper_fml 11
I don't agree with your advice. OP, I would say you should give it to a family member or a friend. Or wait for the occasion to use it as a gift.
IvyOswin 17
Do you know what a recovering alcoholic is? Someone that knows better than to "drink up"
tannara 12
I agree, don't be stupid, and good for you OP. I doubt that could have been easy!
DDCA 24
#37 has apparently never heard of sarcasm.
ThatOnePolarBear 13
Apparently sarcasm is non-existent on FML.
mzrobinson 13
Sell it and use the money for cake!
oj101 33
Hopefully, it's a very high end bottle of wine, so OP can go buy a cake from CakeBoss. If its a cheapo, then I guess OP could always eat a 99c Walmart cupcake.
Boardacon 5
The only cake that's good is ice cream cake. And unforunately, most supermarkets don't have that.
Treveyon56 14
Walmart and Super 1do.
Boardacon 5
Sorry, I should've said good ice cream cake.
jondivey 9
I would get a cheesecake from trader joes, mmmmmm cheesecake.
Jiplo 18
If anyone is familiar with the game "Portal", or just wants an amazingly moist, rich and delicious chocolate cake, Google "Portal cake recipe". I made one for my gamer friend and it was phenomenal. I am yet to make another; I just need an appropriate situation.
HeadlessSparrow 20
What about pancakes?
jessBeAqueen 13
"I want that cake cake cake cake cake cakee"......wrong kinda cake ?
Pentium_4 27
it's testing your will power. don't drink it!
deepunder 17
It's a sign, drink it... Or resist. It's all up to u OP. u could also sell it for the good stuff... cookies.
Thi3fstheme 9
Use it to make dinner
NoMore_CoolNames 14
What?
Michael_92 20
You put wine in all kinda things to add flavor.
hallix 21
Wine is disgusting anyway. Give it to a friend as a present!
Enslaved 36
Do you often give your friends "disgusting" things? Lol
Michael_92 20
I think you might be drinking the wrong wine because some is quite delicious.
Peeves_fml 17
Couldn't you ask to trade it for something else?
revolution4ever 14
You could always use it as a decoration? Just get a cool wine rack and you're all set! And if you're worried about drinking it you could let your friends drink it for you and then you'd still have the bottle to say you won.
haw008 14
So why would a recovering alcoholic use a wine rack as a decoration again?
LexSwift 17
That's like being on a diet and having chips, soda, and cake on a rack for decoration. They won't serve their decorating purpose for very long.
andrewturtle 16
That's not even a valid comparison. Who the **** would decorate with junk food? At least a wine rack looks classy, and you don't have to fill it with wine necessarily.
LexSwift 17
It was an example to show how it wouldn't be a smart idea since he's a recovering alcoholic. Not on whether people actually decorate with food. You think I don't know people don't decorate with food? It's not really necessary to nit-pick everything, you know?
DDCA 24
People stuck in the '60's decorate with food. Those damn hippies!
Boardacon 5
Man, that's just bad luck. But kudos to you for trying to better yourself and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.