Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
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Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML
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Top comments
Wederoney 16
At least you can imagine what would happen if you did.
Kiki242 19
We've all had that moment where a parent is like "if you ever did that".
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Comments (76)
Wederoney 16
At least you can imagine what would happen if you did.
football98_fml 20
my imagination isnt great enough to see what my dad would do to me if i said that to him, and i have a pretty big imagination
nurchok 15
The worst part is that there are almost 2200 people that YDId this. Why, people, why?
Kiki242 19
We've all had that moment where a parent is like "if you ever did that".
horne2 9
Yeah, but you never get slapped
michelleJ11 25
#20, are you sure? You'd be surprised.
horne2 9
I mean you wouldnt get slapped for someone in the movie saying it
webbface 25
Not the point he made.
WiseGirl98 5
that's one way to make sure your son doesn't talk to you like that. slap him upside the head and tell him not too, when it was a movie character.
alexwow1 13
He did it for fun
lissa_jade 22
I'd rather endure that than the awkwardness of watching a sex scene in the movie with your dad right there. see? silver lining.
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah that's a very awkward 30 seconds...
Zebediabolical 43
... how do you make it last 30 sec... OH IT'S A MOVIE!
phoneYuNOlisten 16
He didn't realize it was a movie?
MissWhitneyB 17
He slapped him over the head to tell him to never say what the movie character said ... Pretty sure he would be able to tell if OP said it
cuppycakeslove 20
He just wanted an excuse to slap your head
UnluckyGenius 21
I believe the military term for this is "preemptive strike" it is a usually a sound tactic. Usually..
pikachulove14 14
My mom does that.they take it personally
LithFlavored 10
Sorry op but this one made me laugh