Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Egg mode
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Judgmental much!?
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Why mother, why?
Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Get out
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
And your little brother is what age?
rg350dx 29
Sounds good. Bend over ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
sabrinaacrow 26
That sucks that your mum thinks your brother has a better sex life than you, go and prove her wrong!
Beelz19 6
Buy more condoms first though.
Hurbel684 10
You're screwed... in a bad way.
Iamevil123 16
Let's not forget that, judging by this FML, OP can't get "screwed"!
Iamevil123 16
Please ignore this comment. Even the best of people make mistakes!
whos_ur_daddy1 19
When your title is dry spell I don't think you will need them anytime soon...
yoimtrollin 24
And your little brother is what age?
jarrettd 27
5 and a half. Believe me he gets all the b!tches.
bluehero 17
I avoid giving you a thumbs up because you slightly censored bitches.
AestheticGuy 21
@4 why would it matter what age they are? if the mum is giving him condoms im sure hes gonna be at least 15 or something and theres nothing wrong with that.
TrueTriage 16
Tell your brother they're finger gloves and to show mommy.
SkateboardGirl88 11
Does she know condoms for girls are different for guys...? Or maybe I'm reading this wrong...
FightMyLiger 19
You're both confused. Anyone else care to explain this one?
DreamyMia 16
She might has condoms as well. Guys are not the only ones keeping them around just in case. So they might be regular condoms she has in case she needs one. I do the same.
Enslaved 36
I think #6 is talking about the "female condom" which are the ones that have some sort of ring on them and insert into the ******. Hey, us girls have to protect ourselves and not just relay on the guys to do it for us. :P
sweet23_fml 11
Diyafram is the female version of a condom, but I would hope that OP's Mum isn't that stupid, as to give her son those.
Enslaved 36
But why not? If the son is having sex with a female, why not use the DIYafram (I didn't know its name). From what I've heard, they are just as effective and more comfortable for the males. I know a few guys that hate the tightness that come along with regular condom uses. Though I have the feeling it was the regular type the OP got stolen from her. (: DIY stand for Do It Yourself, right? Haha
Ebola_fml 20
It takes two to tango
emeraldisle 30
33 - *diaphragm
feelingold 18
right, it's time for school... Women can insert a diaphragm, which is kind of a saucer shape. But there is also a female condom - known as a femidom - which is tube shaped. However, more women would prefer to keep normal condoms to hand than either of these two...
Pro_Nothing 9
I hope you're brother is old enough to understand sex; else he might think they're oddly shaped balloons
ZeroPath5 16
A very slimy balloon......
Ambient25 24
Might I suggest a toy then....
Azaleeea 20
She just killed you with doing that ;D
rg350dx 29
You just killed me with reading that. ;D
xInwex 12
I'm just wondering why your mom knows where you keep your condoms...
shadowedpixie 19
That is so immensely awkward.