Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Breathtaking view
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Susan
Canada
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Anonymous
Goose Creek, United States
Family portrait
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
ThisIsMyLife
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
SuperSleuth
Miami, United States
Hot air
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
byebyeromance
State College, United States
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Anonymous
The runs
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Lovergirl
United States
Clenched
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Top comments
JessBassett 24
That's cute..
permannator 10
Go into the bathroom and clean the toilet with his toothbrush then be like "this isn't what it looks like"
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Comments (69)
JessBassett 24
That's cute..
woainishamu 21
Just like you? HAHA just kidding!
ogatasan 5
Lets hope you don't end up with pink eye, OP
anythingmustbe 18
#48 it says on your profile you like stuffed animals. It seems that you need to get stuffed.
dancinwookie 21
#48- What a horribly mean thing to say to a person, even for the internet. Why? What need of your's was filled by such a low brow insult to her? And, out of no where? What the hell is the matter with your type? Why add more hatred and resentment to the world?
woainishamu 21
#1. Ah my apologies. I didn't mean for it to sound so offensive. It was a horrible attempt at trying to be funny. Sorry about that.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I like that whale in your picture 64..not! I actually do though...
JessBassett 24
#48 Don't know how I'm going to recover from that one...
hugozac88 22
#1 yeah if you ENJOY PINK EYE!! Lol jk
htownpostman 16
What am I missing? I see "that's cute" ," then just like you".. Where is the insult? I must be stupid this AM cuz it's way over my head
hama806 19
I think he/she meant 57. Now his comment was rude.
Flowsidon 6
He was only joking around...no need to make it into such a big deal.
ChuckNorris2 4
I think she's cute.
hberri331 18
Omg get some thicker skin that's not mean at all.
softrally 15
Lovely, eh?
juliaannw 11
"oh really? Looks like i wont be in the mood for sex anymore"
tacojauns 45
#3 "Then it's exactly what it looks like"
juliaannw 11
Hahaha
Dusty_Busters 15
One of those girls huh?
cooterpie 11
True love. He just wanted to surprise you with a lovely case of pink eye. **** edible arrangements!
dancinwookie 21
Same here. "I thought that was just your musk!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Odorable arrangements?
NewYorkMexPR 14
Now thats what marriage is all about
permannator 10
Go into the bathroom and clean the toilet with his toothbrush then be like "this isn't what it looks like"
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
Hell Yeah!!!
pastispast 7
WTF
Joe9024 20
..... Kind of comment is this??
andrekrivo 20
'murica
LosAngelesGalaxy 7
You better hope that wasn't your pillow
Axipiter 24
It was.
softrally 15
The FML says that it was hers.
n4ture 20
#10 did you not read?
wtfwhyfml 12
....The fuckle? Hope he remembers which he did that to, or else he's gunna be the one having fun with pink eye.
Lil_Red777 21
Gonna*
Welshite 39
Going to* As both "gunna" and "gonna" are slang and mean the same thing, I don't see how your correction is valid.
RedPillSucks 31
*gunga din
MrConcise 34
If you're gonna go slang, you might as well go 'finna'. It's more common in lower socioeconomic areas for all the wannabe OG's, it's a plausible typo for 'gonna' so you can laugh at people for being street ignorant, and it's still a contraction. All things we love / hate.
SirCharles83 13
56- I'm finna thumb you up yo!