Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
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Top comments
kezziemonster 2
Why didn't you move?
oj101 33
Troll grandma strikes at it again.
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Comments (53)
oj101 33
Troll grandma strikes at it again.
_GoodGuy 11
I loved the wording of this fml "they were trucker farts and smelled like death"
rg350dx 29
Just when I though the old people FMLs were down and out they come right back with a second wind...and a third, probably a fourth too.
doctor_glitter 6
The old people FMLs will never disappear.
Punny 3
The imagery in this FML is fantastic. Im sorry you got trolled by someone twice or three times your age though OP.
NeDaroft 5
Tell her it's okay, & to work toward the light
ilovedinosawers 17
They're so cute at that age.
hessel 13
#14 imagine morgan freeman saying it
GlitterValentina 12
shoulda ran away at the first fart..
doctor_glitter 6
Sounds like a good survival tactic.
kezziemonster 2
Why didn't you move?
LeFrogDog 27
the farts probably paralyzed op
CharresBarkrey 15
I bet they petrified her.
Wizardo 33
Well that's one way to break the silence, by gassing it to a dark and painful death...
Ambient25 24
You should have either moved or sprayed her ass with Febreeze
mmizbbz210 13
yep, because everyone carries cans or bottles of febreeze with them @_@
LeFrogDog 27
no but some bathrooms do
therealafroninga 10
Febreeze, for things you can't wash; like your car, mattress, and that farting oldlady.
Bakarra 22
Betty White has all these seniors pranking the rest of us, and it's getting kinda out of hand...
Wizardo 33
Should've lit a match... oh wait.
theawkwardlife 21
Is this an inside joke or something?
TheElBurrrito 21
#43: So this is "theawkwardlife" you speak of....
MzZombicidal 36
Who knows how long she held those in until she found a victim! FYL, indeed, OP.
perdix 29
You could have been polite and taken ONE for the team, but after she started blaming the subsequent farts on you, you should have loudly said, "No, lady, that's yours!"
tararochelle 18
Or you move, so it's obvious that it was hers.
SergioLived 5
Yo Mama so old, she farts out dust.
ApollosMyth 22
Grandmama**
ilovedinosawers 17
How about, we don't make those kinds of jokes. Because they're overused and *pushes glasses up* mainstream.
doodlecloud 26
I don't think that's how the glasses work...