Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
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Top comments
maz95 17
Your dog was just showing off what your crush is missing.
electrorange 13
Maybe a preview of things to come!
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Comments (80)
electrorange 13
Maybe a preview of things to come!
collegedream121 8
You must be head over heels..
Sinkhole 26
Could have of? That's a new one.
DocBastard 38
10alex21 - We tend to be forgiving of simple typos, but "could've of" is beyond stupid.
daminantion 14
So is having a bod shot as a display pic.
Soloman212 28
I didn't think what Doc has qualified as a "bod shot", but I guess technically...
SqueakyChipmunk 21
What do you expect from the guy taking pictures in his bathroom while shirtless?
Pleonasm 35
Prophetic Phallusy
garrett1999o3 16
What does that mean?
yakrider 8
Its so bright, a double rainbow all the way, aww awww awww, what does it MEAN !!
maz95 17
Your dog was just showing off what your crush is missing.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
Talk about dog bone.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Cue the porno music!
wlddog 14
I guess the dog was smelling what the crush was thinking and wanted to get there first.
lilhellian 26
I've heard of a dog eat dog world.. But damn. Getting screwed by head pooch..
RedPillSucks 31
That's some bow wow chicka wow wow.
FalaFala 8
A funky jive chorus ...
lilhellian 26
Well you can't she doesn't know you exist!
ParadoxicalPea 8
Wait. What? Please elaborate.
lilhellian 26
Well you can't say*
toaster012 17
At least the dog didn't run away..
theawkwardlife 21
But I bet the crush did.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Your dog just wanted to say hi too. :)
greenie213 23
Your dog has jealousy issues.
Batterypost 23
The mental image of this happening is amazing. If I could draw, I would totally make this an illustrated FML.