Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said, "There's my daughter…" He then turned it to me and said "…and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 minutes of him describing how beautiful she is, how much we look alike, and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
Today, my dad casually mentioned my half-sister in conversation. He had her out of wedlock when he was only 13. NEWS TO ME, HE'S NEVER MENTIONED I HAVE A HALF-SISTER BEFORE AND I'M FREAKING 22 YEARS-OLD. Apparently he and mom thought I knew, and just forgot to tell me. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and me. It started with, "I love you", and ended with,"You and your brother were mistakes." FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
Whatever, Chelsea. You won't fool me!
littlemonster94 15
This is when you do something really bad, and blame Chelsea.. "No dad, it was Chelsea!" *points sheepishly at unsuspecting sister*
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Comments (81)
Alexis2742 31
Maybe he's just getting old...
cja33 8
Nahh...
littlemonster94 15
This is when you do something really bad, and blame Chelsea.. "No dad, it was Chelsea!" *points sheepishly at unsuspecting sister*
doodlecloud 26
If he thinks she's Chelsea that's probably not the best idea...
littlemonster94 15
Warning: posting comments before noon and/or having a large cup of coffee could result in faulty logic. You win this time! :)
HowieDoIt 21
Whatever, Chelsea. You won't fool me!
katykilbs 1
Haha, good one Chelsey- Chelseys father.
DyslexicPanda 12
Indeed you are able to read.. Proud of youuuuu
klutz44 28
...but not spell.
klutz44 28
Ugh dammit, "Chelsey" is how OP spelled it. So I guess that's "correct". My bad.
feldco1 17
You could use this as an excuse to get a tattoo so your dad can tell you two apart lol
VannahJane 17
Thats a dumb excuse
ilikebikes7 3
That's harsh
doodlecloud 26
If you're getting a tattoo for the right reasons then I don't think you need an 'excuse'. If you think you need an excuse then you probably shouldn't get a tattoo.
emilymaeve 8
What if she doesn't want a tattoo?
KommanderKush420 5
"Hey that's a cool tattoo. Why did you decide to get it?" "So my dad can tell the difference between me and my sister."
BabyGirlJr1 11
Thats so ******* idiotic
SillyGirl4602 23
I love tattoos and have 4 of them. This is not a reason to get a tattoo though. I agree with the commenter that said if you need an excuse to get a tattoo then you probably should not get one.
BinaryGuy 22
You just need a gimmick, maybe wear a hat or a fake mustache :) Or just always dress alike to confuse the crap out of him!
countryrose92 23
I say dress alike. That seems like more fun.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Old age. Enjoy him while you can.
VannahJane 17
I guess he didn't know what room was yours either
perdix 29
What can you expect from him? He can't even spell Chelsea! I won't even guess how he butchered your name, Anonymous!
kickass1stbase 7
Maybe that's how they spell her name... There is more then one spelling for most names.
AllieCat21 21
The ability to detect sarcasm is a useful skill, 30.
perdix 29
#30, there are often multiple spellings for a name -- the right way and several wrong ways.
LaffAtLife 4
He can spell it like chelsey if that's how he chose to.... Maybe there's a particular reason for spelling it that way.... Obviously chelsey isn't your daughter so you wouldn't know now would you
perdix 29
#47, he may spell it Chelsey, but that would be wrong. Upon viewing your fine punctuation and capitalization, I've concluded that you are not a stickler for correctness. I once saw a guy named Dhavid, and I wanted to slap him. That's ****** up!
FML_Whale 18
Like when people spell Sarah as Sara? I just want to slap their parents.
sens3sfailing 24
I have seen mike spelled myq... That's ****** up. And dear god, people can't detect sarcasm when they have it pointed out to them...
marxistbkly 3
With fathers your lucky if the recognize you as their children
RaveBlade 4
Nah my dad recognizes me allright...
andyyroxx 20
23- Exactly. Despite the profile picture equation that made you, I think he knows what's his.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'd hate to think about the type of father you grew up with due to your attitude towards all fathers.
marxistbkly 3
It's a generalization based on years studying fathers in the wild.