Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
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Comments (156)
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
valleyshooter 8
Would you like them in a box with a fox?
strawberrywine22 30
I believe you meant to say: Would you like them in a box? Would you like them with a fox?
akiahara 14
Or a rabbit in a hat with a bat and 64 Impala?
Enslaved 38
I wish I was little bit taller I wish I was a baller I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat And a six four Impala #19 This doesn't match this thread but completing it might have helped what you were attempting to do.
jewwybeanzzz 10
Hey, remember. Sam I Am tried the green eggs and ham and liked them. Maybe OP just needs to get past the color :P
strawberrywine22 30
Actually Sam I Am already liked them...the Cat in the Hat was the one who refused to try them until the end.
jewwybeanzzz 10
looks like Its been too long since I've read green eggs and ham :P sorry people
stillnotaredhead 10
Actually, the cat in the hat was not in this book. The guy who didn't want to try them was a dog-like character.
strawberrywine22 30
Oops, you're right! I guess I'd better brush up on my Dr Seuss knowledge : P
kaylannixon 5
Unless you want to learn the ingredients and "harmfulness" of food colouring, I suggest you stop reading this comment thread.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
TylerBurden 21
Yes, same for me. If she's happy with the food coloring, let her do it. It won't affect the taste of your food. I don't see a problem in here.
a1f0sff 25
But it might harm their health if used a lot and very frequently, no? Food colouring isn't something natural, I've always assumed that it contains lots of toxic products.
Mister_Triangle 21
Food coloring isn't lead paint, it's meant to be ingested.
EpicSquishii 21
So, technically, are trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. Just because they sell it, doesn't mean you should eat it. McDonald's is a perfect example.
saksxalmo 20
#42, but that's still not evidence that it's harmful. High fructose corn syrup and trans fat are actually harmful for a reason. Food coloring just makes your poop look exciting. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
a1f0sff 25
Still, it has to have some chemicals in it and although most of us consume a lot of them in our daily routine, it will still cause us harm.
EpicSquishii 21
I'm mostly playing Devil's Advocate here, I've absolutely nothing against food coloring. I've also never heard that it's bad for you.
KayBeeFFFixed 5
#53 not all synthetic chemicals are harmful to humans, and food coloring does not pose any known problems. Yes, consuming too much is definitely not healthy, but "too much" is a lot. There's no way she uses that much. Believe it or not, the FDA and other countries' respective food administrations are usually very strict when giving permission to companies to sell their products.
alissa222 15
I've heard that it does have a taste in large amounts- that's why red velvet cake taste different from chocolate.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Red velvet cake has a different taste because it's a different flavor with different ingredients...
Jordath_Fil 11
Well, 44 you asked to be corrected... Trans fat and high fructose corn syrup are not bad in nature. Our society has decided we really like them and use them everywhere, so our daily intake as a society is very high. Anything in large quantities is bad. There are other reasons you see corn syrup and trans fats portrayed in a negative light, but most harm comes from people's inability to exercise moderation.
doubleddun 9
Right! I do not understand the problem, sounds awesome.
Heythereguys 8
high fructose corn syrup is bad? what's bad bout it? people today might learn a little if they tried. don't listen to all those ads about low calorie diets. you can eat all the calories you want all they are is energy. you just need to make sure you are using all the calories you are eating cause that is when you get fat. plus the liquid food coloring has carcinogens in it but you can get organic powdered food dyes that are perfectly safe. they usually cost more though. the food dyes that it's gf is using will give him cancer so yeah he could die from green eggs and ham. don't trust Sam I am!!
outoftown 27
#44, OP is in the US. The US FDA is more permissive with food colorings than some other countries, even allowing colorings that are outright banned elsewhere. OP's right to be cautious, and may want to research what she's using before eating more "neon."
isabellegypsy 12
You are an idiot..there is nothing in food dye that gives you cancer.
Heythereguys 8
actually yes there is check down in the comments certain food dyes have been linked to cancers. learn a little and dont be an ass.
DarksideDoll 31
I want to eat neon green pancakes. :)
babeababe 16
Aww... Stop being such a grinch. ;)
Shadow_Phantom 26
Should really research where food coloring comes from and how unhealthy it is. >.>
Jordath_Fil 11
And you should really learn what a joke is.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Dye all her clothes as retaliation :) Or start cooking
strawberrywine22 30
She has a little fun with her cooking and he should destroy her clothing?
CharresBarkrey 16
4 - Newsflash: food coloring doesn't ruin food. It does absolutely nothing except change the color.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#28 and #11 > Newsflash, that was sarcasm... you should try it sometimes....
pbonham 22
Well it was pretty shit sarcasm
sux4u121 10
That isn't really sarcasm...
CharresBarkrey 16
You can't just say your shitty comment was sarcasm every ******* time it gets thumbed down into oblivion or someone proves you wrong. That was very clearly NOT sarcasm, and we made you look stupid. Suck it up, stop making excuses.
megangubler 3
Don't you dare do that
pieman528 10
Lucky you! I've always wanted to try green eggs and ham.
strawberrywine22 30
I make it every year. It's just like regular eggs and ham, only about 20% cooler.
LarryLaDouche 13
Speaking of 20% cooler...
redbluegreen 41
They used to serve green eggs and ham regularly at my school when I was little. It was pretty cool.
emag_eht 18
21- how about we don't
VIPwhenever 15
I think it was in 2nd grade they had served green eggs and ham. Since at the time I didn't like eggs I refused to eat it. Everyone called me Sam I am that day. (very unimportant but thought I'd share.)
twiztedone 19
Did it while I was in the Navy. Part of our polliwog initiation! Looks gross, it's also military food, but actually really good!
K92 13
:/ if your meat is green I'd double check to make sure it really was just food coloring.
APersonalProblem 13
You better hope that's all she is using.
oj101 33
My sister once made rainbow cupcakes - they looked and tasted delicious... but my turd came out as bright green. Beware. You have been warned.
twiztedone 19
That is the one problem with food coloring, it colors EVERYTHING else! But if your nasty minded, or high, it looks so cool!
plum_lovin 28
I'm sorry to say but that is something I really didn't need to know...
LovesSushi 25
Who cares, your girlfriend is COOKING for you. If it tastes good, does it really matter what color it is?
brackaman 18
Multi colored chicken wings? I can dig it.
carry_on 19
Green eggs and ham it is!