Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, I couldn’t find my phone as I left work, but knew it was on me since CarPlay connected. Later, the music cut out speeding up onto the freeway. I then recalled placing it on the roof as I loaded up the car. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML
Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 30
It's hard rock that makes you rock hard! Hehe
TheChiver 7
For your sake I hope it wasn't tentacle ****....
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Comments (173)
Olivxr 5
ya dun goofed
capslockisgood 19
Consequences will never be the same!
TheFirstSamurai 18
Don't worry guys, I've notified the CyberPolice.
ambamm135 7
I've backtrraced the address too! on a sidenote, is that little girl still online or did she learn her lesson?
PsychoticAsylum 26
Apparently she's a boy now.
nevershouttami 11
She's back on the internet, she goes by Damien now.
jjessen 20
May I ask what girl we are talking about?
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
^^Jessi Slaughter. well I hope..
XxDevilxXGt 26
Notifying the cyber police of what? What little girl? And who left this banana on my desk? All this and more, next time on: The Internet! No but seriously, can someone explain? :O
XxDevilxXGt 26
Nevermind, the memories came back to me. I understand it all now. Watching that video again and laughing my ass off.
will3232 3
I too am very confused about all this... Anyone want to explain.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
Well.
seriouslythat 6
When did jessi slaughter become a boy? I mean she always looked kind of like a guy but still
Rawrz69 5
Well what kind of **** was it
TourettesGuyFTW 25
iPorn.
MentalHelpNeeded 5
Is that really necessary to know?
Pleonasm 35
It was Siri going "Oh yes, please, more, you sexy beast. MORE!"
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
I'm pretty sure even if it was the most ****** up stuff in the world Op wouldn't have left his phone in long enough for them to find out.. It'd just be the usual screaming or something, maybe a little dirty talk but I doubt it was all "SHIT ON MY FACE AND RAPE ME." That would be pretty awkward.
lilhellian 26
22 Pfft that's a light conversation. Totally not awkward at all! /sarcasm..
newbiehere99 6
Animal ****?
poccocurantes 7
"There is an awful lot of moaning, humming and farting." "it's called **** step dad, crank up the base."
Enslaved 36
Air plane noises?
Rawrz69 5
Can you blame me I am an 18 year old lesbian I watch ****
GlitterScribbles 9
Does anyone really care about your age or sexuality?
xtcolin 7
It was cake farts.
poccocurantes 7
I could stand to hear a little more.
phatdaddy62 23
Hey tourettesguy, isn't iPorn masturbation?
Ray_of_midnight 22
@#40 **** step? Is that like dubstep mashed up with fluffertrax?
charvisioku 22
71: What are you trying to do, advertise yourself? xD Nobody on here particularly cares about your age, sexuality or ****-viewing habits. You don't see many guys going "What **** was it? I'm a 20 year old heterosexual man! I watch **** :3" do you?
lilhellian 26
hi 128. I am a 18 year old heterosexual male. I watch ****, do you?
boredphil 4
@19: Siri is male in the UK (where I am, not the op) *grabs the mind bleach*
LightningCactus 12
I'm wondering what the hell is going on in your profile picture, 2
livinginabook 24
19- Siri you naughty, naughty girl.... ;D
Rawrz69 5
Haha no just said that to see the reaction I am plenty taken
FMLKitten 15
136) You forgot the ":3"
gc327072 30
It's hard rock that makes you rock hard! Hehe
amillionbucks 5
I seriously live in fear about that happening
gc327072 30
Then close out of your apps! Or whatever the Android folks call them...
rockstar362 8
111-totally agree on that one.. I was wondering if this kind of thing happens to anyone but LOL I guess it does
CallMeMcFeelii 13
This fml reminded me of when I used my friends iPod touch and went on the web only to be greeted by 8 pages of cartoon ****. Needless to say I don't talk to that kid anymore.. People need to learn to keep a safe page. I always have google loaded up just for that reason.
TheChiver 7
For your sake I hope it wasn't tentacle ****....
LarryLaDouche 13
Ursula and The Kraken tag teaming Ariel.... Hawt!
HairyPunisher 27
...?
igive 29
11, he's taking about Hentai
Catkam623 27
Rape **** would have been bad too
onorexveritas 23
she never saw it coming
Mahtari 19
Nothing wrong with hentai.
His_Holiness 18
I take it #118 that you like to jack it to Ariel getting tag teamed?
allisaurusrex 7
Or maybe he just doesn't kink shame.
charvisioku 22
The Little Mermaid isn't even anime.
twinkiefeets 17
Jurassic pork!
shadowdragon1 1
Oh I hope it was a good **** and bowchickawow
accioshannon 17
Please, no.
PenguinBitch 43
^Not sure if making **** noises or what not.
MentalHelpNeeded 5
At least you don't have some weird fetish, otherwise it would sound really ****** up.
Stefan1994 7
Who says he doesn't have some weird fetish?
OhDearBetrayal 25
That depends, is a rape gang bang considered a "weird fetish"?
rasengan1544 12
Is there a such thing as a fetish that is not weird?
Lacist 19
Well just say it starts with **** as a joke and gets into the song, unless you're a bad liar and now you are a horny lying bastard..
accioshannon 17
Great idea! Lemme grab my time machine so we can go back a few days ago to when this actually happened so we can change it.
SirCharles83 13
Bitch
His_Holiness 18
Op probably should have kept it on and started singing to it
accioshannon 17
At least it wasn't really bad music. Honestly, I'd be less concerned if a family member watched **** as opposed to listening to Cher Lloyd.
whostolemylama 12
Or Coldplay
blaackandprouud 20
Yes, especially Coldplay *shudders*
onorexveritas 23
seriously
laya_fml 26
What about **** to Cher Lloyd?
Rawrz69 5
No Justin bieber is worse
CharresBarkrey 15
Coldplay is the worst.
heliraptor 13
How could any of you have forgotten Nickelback? Nickelback is definitely the worst out of all of these.
shireman97 6
This could finally answer their question of "Is our son gay?"
Moochi456 20
Unless it was gay ****
keatongunner 5
58. That would still answer the question.
jdm_powered 6
at least you'll have a quiet car ride now.
OhDearBetrayal 25
I doubt it would be very quiet if his parents are strict.