Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML
Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML
Today, after house sitting for my future father-in-law and managing to keep things spotless for 3 weeks, a pipe burst. It flooded the place and shorted out a plug socket, causing a fire that ruined the front room. He gets home in 3 hours. I'm screwed. FML
Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML
Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Move his shit into the front yard. If he starts complaining? You were "bored"
every1luvsboners 11
He just wants the stuff closer to him so he doesn't have to get his arse up off the couch. No need to worry until he cuts a hole in the floor and starts ******** in it.
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Comments (66)
crisspz 4
I like turtles
StoryOfTheYear 15
What's next?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
A monster truck crashing through the roof.
ClassyCommando 13
I think moving the bathroom to the roof would be a good call. What a beautiful view for you... and the neighbours too, come to think of it.
death_dolphin24 0
Reminds me of that one Family Guy episode where Peter gets the Petercopter and Hindenpeter and crashes them into Joe's house and yard
kingsley_fml 8
@#8 - That makes me think of Cleveland...no no no no NOOOOOO.
enonymous 9
Time to remodel the garage into a meth lab / sun room.
LiyIa_fml 8
Maybe while you're gone OP, your Dad will turn your room into his man cave. :)
KittySaysMoo 6
Weirdest mid-life crisis ever! o:
FaguIous 22
Cutting a hole in the floor to shit in it
rceckspurt13 0
Well then he'll have the whole week to put it back together :) I'm sure there was a good reason for moving everything in the first place.
chili10 18
I didn't know you knew #3's dad, mrmisfit.
iDaniel525 8
At least you don't have a toilet in your kitchen....
brown4lifejot 1
...ew
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Move his shit into the front yard. If he starts complaining? You were "bored"
Taysia_Elice 6
I'm sure he will have it back together by the end of the week.
death_dolphin24 0
Like Family Guy
every1luvsboners 11
He just wants the stuff closer to him so he doesn't have to get his arse up off the couch. No need to worry until he cuts a hole in the floor and starts ******** in it.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Experience?
every1luvsboners 11
With your mom, sister, cousin, aunt and grandma. You wanna hear a story?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
No, boners. Those types of stories are for family reunions only.
ThatFml 5
And the dad of the year award goes to...
bro1oke 0
Next up, living room to the bathroom! Then, bathroom to the back yard!
kingsley_fml 8
This is what happens when people watch too much Extreme Makeover...