Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you totally deserved it (1183)
On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Ah god, that seriously sucks. My dad actually was a child molester, and I know how messy it got with the cops and schools.
#2 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:19am by HelloSeattle
That's pretty bad, hopefully they will be understanding when you explain it to them.
#7 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:24am by dirtyhippie
OH WOW!!!!!! I may have just got on here, BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ONE IVE EVER READ! Mad props for actually making me laugh with you, not just at how stupid you are.
#8 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:25am by Perfection_7
Schools get way to involved in home situations. I really hated that about high school.
That's a decent reason, but they jumped to the conclusion way to quick. It can really ruin someones reputation.
#8 there's a big difference between high school and pre-school
#11 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:28am by mjsmclaren
Why would they automatically jump to the 'child molester' conclusion?
#13 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:32am by catatonicsleep
They should have asked her to describe it, then when she described a computer they would know not to jump to conclusions.
#15 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:39am by catatonicsleep
#17, isn't that the truth. I really hope that everything gets straightened out for you. Right now it is "F both of your life's."
Obviously your not a very satisfying wife if he has to get his little daughter to pet his peter?
#23 - On 05/07/2009 at 4:18am by sophiepento
dammmmmnnnn that sucks ballz. but you know, when you try to explain to them that she meant computer they'll just say "ya ya.. ok. right" and still have suspicions. once the thought is in their heads, it'll never come out. so you're pretty much screwed. hopefully it doesn't get out and ruin you and your hubbys rep.
lol @28.
Hahaha #14! Its true, and #2, i'm sure it was traumatizing and what not, my heart's with ya=) and OP, that SERIOUSLY sux, FY family's L
#33 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:32am by Jigga_PaNG
#32, it has happened.. but not these days and who would think a preschooler would know that outdated slang? .. But that does suck.. tho I agree with # 15 .... and # 23 is a dick
#34 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:37am by Jade_Rothwell
this isn't funny! my best friend's dad was wrongly accused of being a child molester and it ruined his life. he was some fancy brain doctor and now he works for a truck company.
#36 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:57am by philadelphianus
lol wowwww.. i hope everything gets straightened out.. the sad part is that even the school might still be worried about your daughter.. :(
#38 - On 05/07/2009 at 8:21am by nessa_924
*Hugs #2* I know what you're going through. My dad molested me when I was a kid. I know that for others the this FML might be funny, and on some level maybe it is. But for someone with my background, it's hard to see humor in it.
OP, hope that all gets straightened out for you.
And now, if I may, a plug: If you or a loved one are or were a victim of rape, molestation, sexual assault or sexual abuse, www.pandys.org is a forum where you can chat with other survivors. The site also has tons of valuable resources to help you heal and find some measure of peace.
This actually happened about 17 yrs ago with my brother and it was said to the babysitter. Of course the sitter knew what he meant, but she did pull my mother aside to let her know he said the exact same words as your daughter did.
It is funny because WE know, but it sucks all the same because of what you have to go through. I hope it gets taken care of quickly!
#40 - On 05/07/2009 at 8:35am by fallenGRACEE
hahahahahahah.
well you should just have the teachers ask her what a 'peter' is and then she'll point to a computer and then its all good!
#41 - On 05/07/2009 at 8:36am by stinkybutt
Guys, take the time to read the post before you comment. She said that she got a call from her child's SCHOOL. If the school had automatically jumped to the child molester accusation, she wouldn't have gotten a call from the school - she would have gotten a call from the police, and she would have had to temporarily sign her daughter's custody over to another family member, or have both her and her husband sign a paper waiving all parental rights if they allowed her husband any contact with her daughter while the incident was being investigated.
Use a little common sense before you jump all over the school for something that obviously didn't happen
Wow #2... I don't know how they do things in Seattle or Canada or wherever you're from, but this FML just got waaaaay too real for me!!
#44 - On 05/07/2009 at 9:36am by pancakelover
that happened to me in 3rd grade. i said 'my dad sleeps with me' and for some reason. me being a dumbass 3rd grader i said 'i had sex with my dad'. wow. i didnt even know what sex was bak then.
A similar thing happened to me, one day when my parents were out of town I was babysitting my sister (who was 7 and has autism) and I woke her so she could get ready for school. She didn't want to go, so threw a fit and refused to change out of her pajamas. I had to force her to change. When she got to school she told her teacher that she was mad at me and told the school that I told her to take off her clothes. Later on when I was in class I was paged to the office next thing I know, I was literally being dragged out in cuffs by the State Police and taken to the station where I was questioned for 5 hours while they ran test on my sister to make sure nothing happened. When they found out that nothing happened from the test I was finally released. I didn't even get so much as an apology from that god damn school. Those assholes
#48 - On 05/07/2009 at 10:32am by dkcc1988
Why do people feel the need to drag the skeletons out of their closet when a FML entry gets a tad bit touchy?
#51 - On 05/07/2009 at 12:34pm by couragewolf9001
Teach your stupid little shit to talk. People have this vast misconception that children won't be able to talk like humans early on but really, those little monkies imitate. They imitate the voices they hear and what do they always here, "D'aww, who's a widdle sweetheart? My itty bitty wickle dickle sweet-bun!" and other stupid blather. If you talk like an idiot to a child, they'll learn to speak like an idiot. Talk to them like a human and "computer" won't become "pooter" and be heard as "penis."
But, the school shouldn't be automatically jumping to conclusions based on one statement. What if Peter was a childhood stuffed animal he decided to give his child? Shit, everyone's so jumpy and needs to lay the fuck off the paranoia pills.
and now the seed of doubt *might* be planted in your mind and you *might* find yourself wondering why she'd feel compelled to share information about something as mundane as computer time, since she "keeps saying" and all....
was she frowning when she said it, or smiling? even those simple minded pre-school teachers should know that smiling = computer and frowning = .....
Kids are awesome !
this FML reminds me of another one on VDM. A guy was with his daughter in a supermarket when she suddenly said loudly in front of the cashier "Daddy, the thing you stuck in my butt hurts." The "thing" in question was a suppository, but the cashier and the other patrons didn't get the right meaning.
#55 - On 05/07/2009 at 1:00pm by proudstub
Well it is not very nice when strangers think such nonsense things about other people... Well I guess you should go straight to the school and tell them to stop the talk and also explain to your child about things she can talk aloud and of which she better stays shut))
aw lol. that sucks hun. But if your husband is a good person, and it didn't happen, then just laugh about it, and brush it off as best you can right now until things cool down. AND tell every date she has with a boy down the road:P You'll know he's a keeper if he sticks around lol. good luck!
#57 - On 05/07/2009 at 1:14pm by Stay_beautiful
I know what you mean. When my son says "'puter" it sounds like "peter". He's always asking my boyfriend if he can play with his peter. F both our lives. lol
#58 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:09pm by Kandyland
A lot of little kids like to use computers. They like to be like adults because we, as adults, use interesting, 'glowy' things like cellphones and computers. They can't use them on their own because they have a habit of calling people or they could EASILY find horrible things on the internet. So yes, something as 'mundane' as computer time, #53, would be acknowledged. Especially if they play games or watch silly shows on it. And obviously it's important because she gets fun time with her dad.
As for the OP, I hope it all got cleared up. It's a very disturbing mistake for the school to make and I'm hoping that they didn't give you a hard time about it. Schools have a tendency to go overboard now because they didn't in the past. They try to catch things way quicker than they used to and that definitely means investigating things like this. :/
#52, a lot of children have trouble saying words that they don't hear a lot. And some of them have trouble saying words at all. If too much emphasis is put on speaking correctly, a child can be frustrated and refuse to say certain things at all. So before you call someone's CHILD a 'little shit', check yourself.
To all the people complaining about this post, it is clear that none of you actually have children or even a base understanding of how children work. Maybe you shouldn't comment on things you know nothing about.
#60 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:15pm by Kandyland
Ouch, my daughter prounces it exactly the same way. The school's ridiculous, though, they should know that kids their age misprounce things all the time! Hell, mine sounds like she's saying "f**k" every time she says "smoke", as in "Daddy's smoking (f**king) outside". Don't even get me started at how she says "eric".....
ahaahahhaahhaa this is pretty funny and made me laugh
#69 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:34pm by imtoosexyformy
LOL
FYL.
im sorry though, i couldnt help it... i HAD to laugh XD
whoaaa, #2, FYL even more :S
#72 - On 05/07/2009 at 4:05pm by life_is_life
#74. She's in preschool. Kids don't always pronounce words with perfect diction. Stupid
this is histarical
My family always said 'puter just for fun. My grandmother talks to my mom about what she does with her "peter" all the time. Conversely, we have never used the term "peter" to refer to a penis. I always felt bad for people named Peter.
#77 - On 05/07/2009 at 4:26pm by PierreChaqueJour
This really sucks and I hope everything gets straightened out quickly.
And people, the kids in preschool! of course she's not going to be able to pronounce everything correctly! And, although this does sometimes happen to good people who would never ever do anything like that to their child, think about how it looks from the teacher's point of view! If you had a little girl talking about playing with her dad's "peter" how would that look to YOU?? You might look at this example and think the school is going overboard, but they need to take the necessary precautions as if this were real because you honestly can't just assume it's not!
@#2: FYL indeed. Sorry :(
LOL on the kid though, let's hope its not real.
#80 - On 05/07/2009 at 5:22pm by geesquared
LMFAAAAO.
Who in the right mind can click on the YDI button?
You don't deserve this.
:x
#81 - On 05/07/2009 at 5:22pm by NeverLetHerGo
#52 is an asshole, just because she says things wrong doesn't mean she's a stupid shit. Most kids, no matter how much you emphasize good grammar, speak like that so shut up dick head.
hmmm i wouldnt advise him to go to the next parent-teacher conference..i dont think the teacher would like him too much. 51 wins.
#88 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm by failwhatwhat
that's actually kind of weird that the teacher doesn't get little kid talk
#89 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:44pm by yaintime21
Minus the "little shit" comment, I seriously have to agree with #52. Maybe it's not the case in this specific instance, I don't know, but there ARE way too many kids out there who have trouble learning to talk properly because all they hear from adults is baby-babble.
And this is just another reason I really hate abbreviations.
Don't baby-talk your 4/5/6-year-whatever-old. They mimic. They mimic /everything/. You obviously know this.
I agree with #52 100%. My parents always treated me and my siblings as though we were actually people with minds and such, instead of babying us and talking as though we wouldn't be able to understand words with more than two syllables. I'm fairly certain that this is why we're all actually able to speak on (and above) the level of most adults.
Tl;dr: Don't baby your kids. Don't treat them like they're retarded. Unless they are.
#48 Wow. That sucks so bad... sounds like your school was full of asshole administrators. Not even an apology after all that? Shitastic.
First of all, the word 'computer" is a difficult word for small children to pronounce correctly, no matter how well they imitate. My whole family speaks proper Cantonese and English to my niece (no "does you nee' to go pee-pee widdle baby?" crap), but she doesn't copy everything to the tee. Children learn just as much through observation and listening, and not solely from direct interaction. When we're not speaking to her, our words are faster and they get mixed up - thus resulting in her jumbled up words and pronunciations. So #52 - if you want your kid to be able to enunciate like an adult by the time she's 4, you best talk to EVERYBODY all slow and clear whenever your kid is in the area, and make sure everyone else does the same. Before that happens, you should take your comment back and tone it down a little first.
To the OP - Bummer that your daughter's school jumped to conclusions like that... but at least you know they're paying attention. You'd think a bunch of adults who run a kindergarten would know that kids say the darnest things sometimes, and not everything should be taken seriously =\ Sucky situation, really.
Something similar to that happened to me as a kid, my preschool called protective child services my dad never really touched me and i knew that but i had supressed memories of it and while i was growing up i was afraid of my dad raping me until my mom told me about the incident it all made sense after that. I was brainwashed by child services.
Me and my dad are best friends now.
#98 - On 05/08/2009 at 12:14am by Tickle_Me_Kiki
Hey # 11, before you critize someone's stupidity, make sure yours mistake isn't 10 times worse... If you knew how to count you would have realized you were talking about # 9.... How hard is it really, the freaken number is on the comment... YDI for that one.
#100 - On 05/08/2009 at 3:42am by Perfection_7
totally agree with #52.....when i was little, my parents spoke to me like a real person (what a concept) and i grew up speaking clearly and with good pronunciation. people who speak in baby talk to their children should be shot.
#101 - On 05/08/2009 at 9:41am by alexthebrit
#13 ... because peter is slang for penis?
that's why.
anyways this is f your life and your husbands.
:D
I like what #59 said about #52. It's very true. My cousin was always corrected for things she said wrong and would just stop trying to say them.
#105 - On 05/08/2009 at 12:25pm by angelxcollins
hey would any of you girls want to play with my puter? it has a pretty big hard drive and has no viruses XD
#108 - On 05/09/2009 at 2:07am by UncleverName_FYL
#2 wtf? Hope you're ok :P
awwww she's cute. That's how my nephew says computer too :D
#109 - On 05/09/2009 at 2:38am by SummerTime98
I don't see how anyone could find any humor in this whatsoever. You guys do realize that this man will have to be investigated now? And if they do proceed to legalize him as a sex offender this will follow him (and his family) around for the rest of his life? This isn't humorous at all. I feel really, really bad. It's not the little girls fault -- a lot of kids screw up [on] words.
I'm really sorry.
D:
#112 - On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am by CurdledMilk
# 2 im sorry, that totally sucks
To everyone who says kids need to learn to speak and parents need to teach them, most kids are either in school, or with a nanny, there not usually aroundthere parents that often. So if their friends talk that way, they talk that way.
OP- I'm sorry and i hope its all straightened out without serious incident.
#115 - On 05/12/2009 at 9:26pm by emobunny225
i can't help laughing @ this...i'm swy...but i have never heard of a penis bing referred 2 as a 'peter'....
Lmao. Favorited.
and it's okay rakhil11, I didn't it could be referred to as one until just last year xD
Weird how it has so many different names.
#117 - On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm by DarkMirror
my daughter says the same thing. She always wants to "play the peter!" but shes saying 'puter. luckily im a single mom and my ex isnt around.
#120, it's "you're" and not "your".
God, you're so stupid.
#121 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:52pm by junkinmahcranium
my god. #120 and #121 - YOU'RE both pedantic cunts, and you both need to get LIVES.
happy, you stupid fuckers?
#125 - On 11/19/2009 at 7:52am by whatthefuckcunt
akward but funny... as Bill Cosby would say "Kids say the darndest things"
#124 - On 08/23/2009 at 1:41pm by Chrisrad97
