Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73632) - you totally deserved it (2258)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
#4 what the heck
and wow why would a guy randomly throw a used condom out the window?
freak...
#5 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:09pm by klutzywriter
LMAO. Gross.
Well, the condom could have like, stuck to your car,
so when you pulled up at a red light......
That's DISGUSTING.
Lol I would like to make a nasty sex joke here, but none come to mind.
#14 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:11pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
that, my friend, is wrong. just. plain. WRONG!!! disgusting, nasty, ewww, all the above!
#17 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:13pm by whoaa_nellie
Hahaha, #15 that's funny! I agree, make your car take a pregnancy test in a couple of weeks. Uh oh! You might have a caby (car-baby) on the way! ;)
#21 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:16pm by recordingchick
God dammit I just got a good way to make my other comment at least a little bit sex-related.
#24 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:17pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
At least it didn't land and spread out in you vagina. That could have some awkward consequences...
#30 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm by fatfaceunited
hahahahaha this is definitely one of my favorites.
its one of those "i wish i was a cop" moments so you could pull them over for littering.
I don't know why anyone would say you deserved this. NO ONE deserves that.
#39 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:31pm by rothenb
I can't help but wonder if the person in the car in front of you had done it earlier and forgotten to take it off or if they were doing it whoile driving..... *shudders* scary thoughts right there, man....
#41 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:36pm by BABYof_theGROUP
#12--how is any of that "convenient"?? A**hole... And #30--what are you, 11yrs old?! Right, random sperm lands in your vagina.. Awkwardddddd!
#43 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:38pm by ishmail2000
You should have followed him and returned the favor. Or put it in his gas tank.
#51 - On 05/03/2009 at 7:57pm by noodleless
If you write down his license plate number, he could face some criminal and civil charges, especially if you get sick or AIDS
#58 - On 05/03/2009 at 8:11pm by blahdsflksfd
haha ewww! It makes me wonder though... what was he doing with the condom? hahah was he getting some while driving?! hahaha ugh men today! lol
#61 - On 05/03/2009 at 8:14pm by 88bellydancer
HAHAHAHAHA. that would have sucked more if you were out of windshield wiper fluid.
#74 - On 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm by 159753
That happened once when i was in my friends car.
He freaked out and threw ice cream and slush at them rofl
#75 - On 05/03/2009 at 8:40pm by LilKonvicted
#12: I don't see anything convenient about this situation. People throw shit out of their car windows all the time. A used condom isn't THAT unbelievable.
#76 - On 05/03/2009 at 8:46pm by nightngale
I don't understand how ANYONE could click YDI on this one...
#82 - On 05/03/2009 at 9:00pm by balanceMMX
well if they were having sex WHILE driving the car, or w/e he was doing.. if it was while he was driving, ur lucky he didnt swerve and crash into u or somthing.
that could b dangerous
and yeah, who clicks YDI on somthing like this..
"yeah u shoulda bought an anti-sperm windsheild, YDI!!!" lol..
#11 I think he/she should be thankful that they weren't driving a moped or motorcycle
#92 - On 05/03/2009 at 9:28pm by drummer1745
Artificially inseminate yourself, DNA test the baby, and get him hit up for all kinds of child support ;D serve him right for being such a dirty bastard.
#93 - On 05/03/2009 at 9:29pm by MissEventide
yeah im clicking YDI simply because you didnt follow this up with "so i followed them home and beat them into a coma, now im in jail. FML." who just lets people throw used condoms onto their car and doesnt do something about it...major douchebag move there.
#95 - On 05/03/2009 at 9:39pm by organisedchaos
#93 lol i had the same idea in my post lol
What you said including: you can make up a story about him cheating on his girlfriend with you and his bitch would dump him... I would classify that outcome as EPIC...
And your only set-back would be that you have the bastard child of a random guy you've never met!
DO THIS! PROS > CONS - REVENGE IS SWEEEEEET!
... LOLLL. ewwwwww.
and @95. It annoys the buhjeezus outta me the folks who strive to find ways to "YDI" people. Give me a break.
#60: Yeah I know that crap is def. a rip off of fml and it is shitty it isn't funny.
lol #95.
Wow, OP that sucks, #12 you should work for the govt. because it seems you are always trying to find out something is fake. Gosh, get over yourself. So what if it is fake? Who cares, this is pretty funny.
#100 - On 05/03/2009 at 9:47pm by ohhhhshizzz
#12 The condom doesn't have to sit there long to empty its contents... there's something called force that makes the contents splatter out of the condom.
That really sucks. I would have road-raged his ass and driven up beside him and tossed something at that douche bag.
#117 - On 05/03/2009 at 10:26pm by strangersdk
thats disgusting. Couldnt you take their license plate and complain? Idk.
#118 - On 05/03/2009 at 10:27pm by nom_nom_nom
............................................wow!...........its basically all you can say
#123 - On 05/03/2009 at 10:50pm by krisFrAnHeehar
ohhhhh that suuuuuuuuuucks
i'm sorry man, hopefully karmas mean
the universe tends to unfold as it should
maybe it wasn't actually passenger window, but like the back seat window. that sounds more plausible.
and yeah.. ten mph isn't fast..
12 is a dumbass
no one goes on fml just to criticize stories
we come to laugh, no one cares if they're real
Aw, GROSS!
That's disgusting. Ugh. And you'll have to clean it up, too.
#133 - On 05/03/2009 at 11:51pm by jdkfgkjdfb
you should have definitely followed him and taken down his license plate.. having a baseball bat would also be helpful in a situation like this. unbelievable... sadly i could see this one being real.
that is definitely one of the most disgusting things i've ever heard
and maybe there was a couple doing it in the back seat with someone else driving? idk, soo fucked though.
#140 - On 05/04/2009 at 12:12am by snrS2
how do you explain that at the carwash? "umm yeah it just came out of no where..." I believe it came from a CUMulonimbus cloud lmao
oh, okay. errrm thats gross
if this actually happened
i am very deeply sorry
nobody deserves that
ugh nasty, man
#142 - On 05/04/2009 at 12:18am by _shit_happens_
I don't understand how anyone can say you deserve this.
"You shouldn't be driving anywhere near someone who was having sex in the car! YDI!"
That's disgusting :|
Atleast your windows weren't down.
#146 - On 05/04/2009 at 12:27am by inerdablanket
you should have written down their license plates and called the police on them for littering!That is just nauseating!!
#147 - On 05/04/2009 at 12:32am by pinguinos2011
sorry i couldn't resist but...
imagine if you were riding a motorcycle or a bike and the condom hits u...in the face
>
#148 - On 05/04/2009 at 12:36am by CryingHowls
Windsheild fluid?! Window Wipers?! Squeegie! SOMETHING?! Haha you should have gone to some place that cleans your windows for you when you fill up on gas. "Today, I work at a gas station and I had to squeegie a used condom off some jerks car. Fml."
#151 ok really your so dumb that you couldn't come up with the conclusion that mabye it wasn't the driver, mabye there was more than two people in the car. Or that the guy forgot to throw the condom away and that he did it then, god some people are clueless. And #152 who sticks their head out the window while driving???
#155 - On 05/04/2009 at 1:55am by epicfail11
you shouldve pulled over and make sure it was semen by touching it with your finger and tasting it. if it wasnt. thats good. and if it was then.............
#156 - On 05/04/2009 at 2:07am by BannedDistress78
Aww.... This is how Transformers are born!
FYL though, that's really disgusting.
#161 - On 05/04/2009 at 2:53am by depechemode
LOL 156 !!!
XD
but that's really nasty.. UGH. There were most likely people in the back seat that threw it away.
"opened my window and a breeze rolled in and I
JIZZED
IN
MY
PANTS."
lawl.
#162 - On 05/04/2009 at 3:02am by TheAwkward0ne
Well scrape it off and make yourself a chum baby. On the plus side; the perverse modern Johnny Appleseed is making a comeback.
whats with all the comments about the car babies god people are so stupid. NOT ALL CARS ARE GIRLS.
#168 - On 05/04/2009 at 5:38am by organisedchaos
Well, at least now you have DNA evidence to find the guy that did that.
Still, EWW! I am so sorry. Yeah, that was fucked up.
And LOL! at #163.
#169 - On 05/04/2009 at 5:57am by Darth_Taco
Crap, now I can't change it. Lol at #162. Lol at # 163 too.
#170 - On 05/04/2009 at 6:00am by Darth_Taco
Someone threw something out the window and burst on my windsheild before. Well now I had a good reason to put my rollbar supported front end to use. I rear ended the guy majorly). I told him what ever he threw, "imparred my vision" (i could see somewhat clearly). His rear end was destroyed. I needed to replace my bumper and fenders. No biggie.
#172 - On 05/04/2009 at 6:56am by Rubiks_Dude
#95, that's just stupid. You don't go and chase people down to (try to) beat the crap out of them no matter what they do. You never know what kind of crazies you're going to be chasing. The people were assholes, but if you blindly attack everyone in the world who does something stupid you're not going to go too long without running into a fatal situation.
If they had followed up with that, they would've actually deserved it. They handled the situation pretty well.
Seriously, some people on this site will be stupid forever. There are too many people working in "FAKE!" and "YDI!" for everything. Let something slide for ONCE...
This is probably the most real FML ever. Man, I've got nothing to say except that completely SUCKS. FYL, I'm sorry :/
@176 yeah, way to let people shit all over you. did i say everytime someone does something stupid to beat them senseless? hmmm i dont remember that.
would you let someone rear end your car and not chase them if they drove off?
ive never had to do something like this, but you can bet your ass some prick aint throwing a used condom on my car and getting away with it. obviously you wouldnt just run in throwing punches, if they look bigger than you you simply torch their car, shit in their petrol tank. or something equally devious. but let them get away with it? no. you may enjoy being walked all over, but personally, im not that pathetic.
the bare minimum they should have done is called the cops and charged them with whatever they could, AFTER following them home to go with plan B in case the cops do nothing (which is likely since theyre pretty much useless in any case that isnt something really bad)
#184 - On 05/04/2009 at 10:59am by organisedchaos
EW, WTF is wrong with people!
Should have followed them home ( or where ever ) and made them clean it.
When I was a bad kid, I used to fill condoms with lotion and throw them off overpasses. That was a pretty common practice back in the day, as my husband shares identical stories. I'm pretty sure those were just malicious high school kids doing the same thing.
a convertible?! imagine if he was on a motorbike! shittt.. that is just plain gross.
#191 - On 05/04/2009 at 1:48pm by summercrossing
Eww that's so disgusting! Why would people be having sex in a car in the passenger seat while the person driving has full view...? It was probably a joke, I doubt it was real semen... XD
@ #5..
what if it was a female condom? o_O then a girl coulda thrown it out the window LOLOLOLOL
#194 - On 05/04/2009 at 3:15pm by serendipitieee
haha thats funny
cause my friends just told me
how her boyfriend did that to someone the other day.......
what the heck dude i was comment 60 and all i did was say mydrunktxt.com was a cheap rip off of FML, how is that offensive??!
that site is crap compared to this, owners of FML, sue :D
#198 - On 05/04/2009 at 6:20pm by jj732
@95, it's not the point of getting your revenge. it's the whole point of what happened, not what's going to happen that determines the FML. there was no way of predicting that and no way of preventing it because s/he didn't know it was gonna happen.
of course, if this happened to you, you would say FML because cum just spilled all over your windshield. you're not gonna say you deserved it because whoever was in front of you knew you were gonna beat them up, but did it anyways because, well, they knew you wanted to beat the crap out of 'em. (doesn't make much sense, does it?)
get it? so stop tryin to find stupid ways to YDI ever FML you read.
EW.
And #200, I didn't see your comment for #60, because it was moderated and I couldn't figure out if there's a way to change that, but I went to that website since you posted the link and I agree with you. It does seem like a rip off.
#200 - On 05/04/2009 at 6:51pm by ILoveJace01
ok #201, you made a comment about #95, which appears to be written a day earlier. really? do you really read every comment? your life is pathetic! yes i said it pathetic! who sits and reads every comment especially some 200 comments?
#201 - On 05/04/2009 at 6:52pm by idkmybffjill1
In reply to all the mean comments on #79.
Sorry, I read it wrong!
#203 - On 05/04/2009 at 8:05pm by RahhRahhRahh
i agree with whoever else said this is one of the best fml's ever.
sooooooooooo gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
am i the only one in the world who does NOT find semen disgusting, at all?
now i feel dirty
but this is hilarious
woah, wonder if they guy was driving and doin it at the same time. He must be pretty good at multitasking.
oh and yea tats pretty gross but freakin hilarious
#213 - On 05/04/2009 at 11:52pm by Teriyaki360
#163 - When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of "Sixth Sense",
I
JIZZED
IN
MY
PANTS.
#214 - On 05/04/2009 at 11:54pm by BarbieSwag
@199 i do click FYL. just not as often.
if you did do as i said, then its not really an fml because youve got your revenge. there is equilibrium again. and your life isnt fucked. but, if you did nothing about it, just sat there and took it, then you did it for not standing up for yourself. i always click YDI in situations where i think the person could have done something about it.
personally i think those who click FML because something bad happened are stupid, but then i dont go around giving them shit about it now do i? unless of course they give me shit first, in which case if i said nothing id be following your logic of sitting back and taking it.
#216 - On 05/05/2009 at 1:10am by organisedchaos
But I thought the rubber was supposed to meet the ROAD?!
#219 - On 05/05/2009 at 3:25am by doof_fisch
as rodney rude said. Oh my god i been hit by a flying fuck. lol
#220 - On 05/05/2009 at 6:20am by dragonmystik3030
Dude... how does that even HAPPEN?
Life can be full of surprises... but nobody said that they were all good... :/
#221 - On 05/05/2009 at 7:50am by meta_knight_486
I hope you got their license plate number and reported them for littering.
#222 - On 05/05/2009 at 1:31pm by DeeJayD
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL number (#) 11!!!! hahahahhahahaha!
#223 - On 05/05/2009 at 2:16pm by wanderingidiot
maybe it was a sign from the heavens.....
"stop sexually depriving yourself, here's a treat!"
>.>
#224 - On 05/05/2009 at 2:56pm by serendipitieee
haha if those stupid people in that car actually got pregnate, thatd be a funny story to tell the kid when he got older..
that is pretty messed up though
#225 - On 05/05/2009 at 6:23pm by BBstfu82
That Sucks, I guess safe sex is dangerous for everyone else, and WTF puts YDI, no one deserves a jizz filled condom flying at them
#227 - On 05/05/2009 at 8:49pm by Always_And_Never
This is how Smart Cars were invented. One of these used un-closed-off condoms landed on a rollerskate, and it just stayed pregnant for the rest of its existence! Thus you have your Pregnant Rollerskate (a.k.a smart car)
#228 - On 05/05/2009 at 9:10pm by aggieskate900
FYL,
you missed out on the fun in the front seat of that car.
#229 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:25am by paintedlove
whoa..that is just fucking NASTY! i feel so bad for you, dude. lmfao at #15 and i agree with #11.
#231 - On 05/06/2009 at 8:37pm by xXmoses_rocksXx
damn... whoever clicked ydi probs did it by accident. (srry abt that)
but, thats just wrong, sick and wrong
#232 - On 05/06/2009 at 8:53pm by Kandysweetie123
wow wtf...and i so agree w/ #38. i prolly would have done that.
#233 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:29pm by crazyaces89
umm drive by ring a bell
seriously you should do something sick and nasty like when they are parked take coke bombs and rig their car
#234 - On 05/08/2009 at 7:44pm by xstaticdelta
i would fkin ram the car in front of me if some1 did that cuz......seriously if ur gonna do it in a car AT LEAST keep ur shit INSIDE
#235 - On 05/08/2009 at 11:37pm by EveryDayJackAss
If that happened to me then not only would i have to clean semen off my windsheild but I would also have to clean some vomit off too.
#237 - On 05/10/2009 at 4:34pm by Zaggytiddies
wow that is pretty fucked up hahaaha it sucks for you but good lord i got a good laugh out of this and i hope you didnt put on the windshield because that would have sucked!
#239 - On 05/22/2009 at 11:17am by lifeisunfair
lmfao the even more impressive thing is that he managed to get laid while one of them was driving down the highway.
