Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
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Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
DudeImBetter 0
yeah their face when they realized what's been feeling them up the whole day was a spider, I don't believe that op didn't feel it.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
awwww I bet he made a little web, where he met his wife and raised his millions of kids.
liray 4
don't worry, it probably ate all the ants in your pants
Rynow 7
it's been that long has it?
shoopd 19
How does you shot web? I think I know now...
Serec 0
Spider Dick! he needs to share his powers with the community so we can have a hero!
shanks19 0
obviously you aren deathly afraid of them because you are still alive to make this post
toyotasmash 0
win
iSitt 0
maybe it was living off your crabs
yazmi_09 3
81, win!
randiZ25 0
119 win, nice very nice my friend
AbsoluteTurtle 0
i dont get it, was he afraid of the spider or his genitals?
ooitastic 0
dickwebs
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
marinus_fml 19
Nope, that was just his pubes. :(
MizzErikaHart 8
EW lol
sammiller4 3
lmfao that's so gross
fm2292 0
lol lmao
franniedottp 8
OP's name is dickwebs. I think your question is answered here.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
what if it layed eggs?
Pesi 0
dude. how lucky are you? xD
gabsta 3
hahahaha :)
gusgus36 5
that's disgusting. didn't you ever go to the bathroom and notice it then??
Oblique 0
exactly what I was thinking
starile 19
Unless he was taking a dump, guys often don't need to fully lower their underwear when using the restroom. There's a hole for that. Who knows how many days he's had that pair of undies on. He obviously doesn't just put on a fresh pair right after a daily shower.
5t3ff1k4h 44
104 - He might have. For all you know, the spider could have been there since just after his shower. He could have placed his underwear on the vanity, had his shower, and put the underwear on without knowing the spider made his underwear its home during the shower.
gusgus36 5
104 I didn't realize til I read other comments that it was a dude lol so yeah it would be easier to miss for a guy than for a girl. but still. even going to the bathroom might make the spider move...and be more noticeable... lol plus I am pretty sure most guys don't go all day without "adjusting" themselves... it would seem... and then you'd notice it. lol
MrFerret 0
It's not like we routinely grab our sack and fondle it to check for spiders. Like really? Do women do that with their vag to check for ignorance and bitchiness? No of course not that's preposterous
tencentsakiss 19
It's sand in their ******, not ignorance and bitchiness.
sjw_1977 0
exactly! where do you think pearls come from hmm?
DudeImBetter 0
^ that was hilarious.
Kaiden2554 3
I smell clams.
grahamfriend 0
138 HA
onecutechick101 0
hahahaha omg well I guess the spider had plenty of room
onecutechick101 0
small dick
SoLiD_DeViL 0
Ahahaha. Win!
tencentsakiss 19
He also clearly lacks balls.
bennyboy111 7
yeah he's german
spanelli 16
Of course you're British...
04VWR32 6
could have been worse...
hunterg 0
yea, it could have bit
danielsharpwoo 0
I have the biggest fear of them. i can't look at pictures of them on the tv or in books...
DudeImBetter 0
yeah dude I'm scared of them too but not that bad.
franniedottp 8
o jeez I screamed like a little girl when a documentary of spiders popped up in science instead of a video on the nervous system. later I was used as an example of "severe anxiety and lack of common sense" by my science teacher. who, might I add, brought **** to school once on accident. lack of common sense my ass
iatetehrabbit 0
hahahahahahahahaha Now that is hilarious! :D
nikkipettyfer 24
Me too!
nikkipettyfer 24
Me too!
Ranimal 12
That's really really diturbing. Gotten any action lately? Hah.
cvbazooka97 0
haha.
jeffreebitch 0
Ha, diturbing?
omgYoUbasTards 0
did it actually create a "dickweb" :-/
catalystics 2
op must be virgin if cobwebs are down there
treesdevin 0
hahah nicee one ..... ^^^^
mobetta126 0
:)
dannyswin 0
win
staceeeeee 0
good call!