Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my dad sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at 3 a.m. to inform them that there was a bat in the house. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
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Top comments
CurlyQ1993 0
awkward...
ktbird 0
It's not that bad. You seem to have forgotten this is the man that wiped your ass for 2 years.
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Comments (216)
hashmita 0
Haha, father-son telepathy.
bethan1 4
Daughter
Thin_Ice_fml 0
Why do you sleep naked (unless of course you did the unmentionables). YDI.
hashmita 0
Oops, yeah.
seanders 10
If your dad starts paying more attention to you, be very afraid.
MonkeyMan03 0
OPs a girl
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
lol
celticmarine2005 2
Because it is very comfortable sleeping naked, and you dont get tangled up in wearing pants or anything if you toss and turn a lot
allmidnighteyes 11
celtic marine knows what's up. anyone who hasn't slept naked all wrapped up in a thick comforter is seriously missing outtt
FunwithBumperCar 0
Did your peni( plural of penis) touch?
mitchem 3
I personally go down to the underwear. it is cooler, and, as everyone has already stated, you don't get tangled up. I just can't bring myself to completely strip down.
MnBran6 0
78 op is female.
starberries 0
#78, the plural of penis is penises or penes. Look it up next time.
cparrenas 3
sleeping naked is the best.
jewban 3
i think i may sleep naked tonight :)))
ZERO530 5
Nah Her Dad Is Just A Major Perv And Wanted It From His Own Doughter. Sad
yourmurderscenex 13
why so you can run into your naked dad?
darkzexs 0
incest. cool. lol
ROYALxxx 0
ooo can I come???
missmadii 0
it's a girl...
jewban 3
lolwut no because apparently sleeping naked is comfortable? also I don't have a dad so uh... that's cancels that out
C94Slim 7
Your spelling is sad
logiibearr 0
121 please dont
foreverspellman 0
150, I vote otherwise. I find her cute. I know, lame and depressing to say on fml, but hey, I genuinely mean it, and not even in a "let's hook up way". blarg.
Wirebiter 0
She's also jailbait. you weird, awkward pervert you.
TheWicked 4
It's not so bad every now and then!
thedisturbedone5 0
pix please :)
a_chucknorris 12
#124, you shouldn't say stuff like that about her dad. You don't even know the guy.
RiseAlone 5
*Daughter. And OP is a girl. Are you so blind that you didn't notice all the other people that have pointed this out? Fail
CurlyQ1993 0
awkward...
miraggg 1
seriously who does that?
MrsLender_fml 3
haha in the wee hours of the morning, she saw her father's wee wee.
docscientist 10
Oui! Oui!
Superflyshyguy 0
2, I have a shirt of your pic :D
hashmita 0
Haha, father-son telepathy.
guiltnazan 23
Excuse me, it said it was a woman, so no father-son telepathy going on there.
hashmita 0
As I mentioned in my earlier post, it was a mistake. And this is a double post. :/
hashmita 0
As I mentioned in my earlier post, it was a mistake. And this is a double post. :/
babyblueflowers 0
umm why the hell were you naked???
cufaoil 11
some people prefer to sleep without anything on....
jpest17 5
it's thrilling to run to the bathroom naked duh!
BloodyHeel 8
Once you start sleeping naked you never go back to those horrible things called pj's.
youngclench 0
^ I went through a naked sleep phase. Best phase of my life. I still don't know why I stopped..
mfmylifesrsly 30
im okay sleeping mainly naked, but im scared something will crawl into my vajayjay o.0
ImaginaryFoe 1
Maybe keep your bedroom cleaner?
KarinaLizeth18 5
hahah 64 stick a tampon in it! xD haha jk i was obviously joking lol
CitizenSnipz 0
Put a mask over it to keep away Bill Clinton.
Charlotteeexx 0
I totally agree! What kind of idiot would shower naked?!
MissErikaHart 0
ummm
Glenn_Coco 0
haha #98 your comment made me laugh! Re-read it lol
Molkerei 0
yaaa.... totally made that dirty in my head number 64.
momorawrrr 0
64-hahahahah. wow....
Jmykel 0
ill crawl in your vajayjay for you
Qluz 3
i dont know if im too horny or not. but i cant sleep naked because of the friction between my body and the blanket causes an erection
GotFunk 0
wtf?! let me guess you watch **** everynight before u go to bed freak!. or do u watch your neighbors
Sniper3000 0
lol @ 98
jimmymac 0
naked sleeps are the best sleeps.
MrRawwr84 0
can i crawl into your vajayjay ;P LOL
JeWbOy101 11
second that lol
croso88 5
woah... where the heck do you sleep that you have to worry about that?
GalaxyShots 21
people who say 'vajayjay' creep me out. it's ******. ******* get it right, jesus christ
biggmike 6
I would just like to be the first to say wincest.
ddlovatolover 23
It runs in the family.
nekros_fml 5
tell me you guys didn't cross the beams
stronghand0331 17
Unless his daughter has a pecker... I think not
CreateZ 0
Where there's an apple, there's a banana.....
Morpheus414 0
It's streams, dumbass! XD OP, FYL.
DocBastard 40
My daughter does the naked dash to the toilet all the time. But she's only 4, so I suppose that would make it more of a potty run.
ChibiGirl5 0
is that your sister in the pic she's so cutee
BadMofeelius 0
Let's see, he was just talking about his four year old daughter, so I'm assuming he doesn't have a four year old sister. Jesus use some context clues.
mfmylifesrsly 30
You better have her stop or else she'll be doing what OP does still when shes a teenager!
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
yeah, clearly #23 wasn't reading the comments. she was probably just picture cruisin' for some studs when she saw the cute lil' girl's pic. luckily for her, though, #28 showed up, so she gets her eye candy after all.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
sorry Mofeelious, I'm not saying you're ugly or anything...I'm just saying that nothing says, "I'm a dorky Jew" like making your profile pic a picture of you being a dorky Jew. (and I'm Jewish too, so have your "you're a racist" posts please people)
DocBastard 40
Chibi, thanks. That's my daughter in the picture. My sister is 31 and not nearly as cute. And neither am I, which is why her pic is up rather than mine. :) FMLiest - I suppose it's possible that Mofeelius' pic isn't actually he. He may have found that pic somewhere else and used it. I don't believe half of the pics around here, even the "half naked in the bathroom mirror making a duckface" pics.
Tempuser117 2
LOL Duckface != cool
EvilDoll 7
doc, us frequent fml'ers have watched your daughter grow up through your pictures :)
DocBastard 40
Well, stay tuned. :)
starberries 0
#28, it's absolutely possible to have a sister and daughter the same age.
crimson_heart21 0
my baby brother is a year and half, and i have 2 nephews who are 5 and a niece who's 4. im 24.how long will it take for car A to cross car B?
ROFLFail 0
wtf do cars have to do with anything
BadMofeelius 0
41, First off I'm not a Jew. This is a picture from my college graduation where I was jokingly 'raising the roof'. I had already taken off my cap and gown, and I decided to throw my sash over my shoulders. So you are pretty much wrong about everything.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
wow, triple fail for me I guess. on the other hand, now that I've read your explanation for what you're Really doing in your picture...I'm positive I got the dork part right.
Snackycakes 0
Furthermore, in addition to not being a Jew, #28 is certainly not a jolly Jew who enjoys jokes as you originally expected. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
missmadii 0
lmao! :P
ktbird 0
It's not that bad. You seem to have forgotten this is the man that wiped your ass for 2 years.
1personinthiswor 0
That's supposed to help? Was she wiping his ass too?
zanzaber89 0
one day she will be. lolz
iheartglasses 0
Now you know to put at least SOMETHING on before opening your bedroom door lol
Islander_fml 5
Kudos to you for sleeping naked. Everyone should try sleeping naked--it's the best way to sleep. Haha, FYL about running into your dad, though. Actually, YDI. If you don't want someone to see you naked, don't leave your room naked.