By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 283
You deserved it 40 615

Same thing different taste

Top comments

dump the bitch before you loose a ********(s). if she can't take a little joke like that then she is disposable move on to something else

Reyo 2

Wait, why the **** does he deserve it? Are the Femanazis on the rampage again? I just can't see how "kicking you in the nuts and possibly hurting your chances of reproducting" is a logical way of getting back at someone for "touching your back with cold hands". I bet you're the types who think hitting your husband with a frying pan is a valid way of getting back at him for tickling you. OP, go for her left tit when she's asleep. A god old fashioned hammerfist'll do the trick. (now watch this comment get burried.)

Comments

ohsnapitsmoses 0
Josher47 0

That is the understatement of the year

Reyo 2

Wait, why the **** does he deserve it? Are the Femanazis on the rampage again? I just can't see how "kicking you in the nuts and possibly hurting your chances of reproducting" is a logical way of getting back at someone for "touching your back with cold hands". I bet you're the types who think hitting your husband with a frying pan is a valid way of getting back at him for tickling you. OP, go for her left tit when she's asleep. A god old fashioned hammerfist'll do the trick. (now watch this comment get burried.)

Take back there right to vote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before the whole human race end up balless!!

bonertastic 0

ahh, awkward love. awkwardintercourse.com

bigcrazymike 6

What you did to her was a prank. What she did to you was assault.

Why don't you guys consider that a lot of people flip when touched with cold hands? She probably didn't do it on purpose. The boyfriend's just pissed, so he made out that she did.

Veritas143 0

First Grapefruit he said she did it as he was falling asleep..which means it wasnt right when he touched her back..she did it as revenge.. for the OP Atleast she didn't cut off your dick and throw it out of a moving car..

ravar5 0

i just love it feminazis go on a rampage then in response some womenhater then goes on a counter rampage as they always say in kindergarten two wrongs don't make a right, so be nice you little kids

It's true, 67, but I don't think people are num-- oh wait. Also it took me a minute to try and figure out what happened. I couldn't think of any possible way for this to be an accident. I mean, seriously, people think for a moment: Touched her BACK with cold hands. *Possibility: He was laying with her and gave her a hug, then she kicked. ~NOPE, because then his hands would be warm (if he was in bed trying to fall asleep). Also, it wouldn't be a sneaky trick to do that. =HE HAD to be behind her. She kneed him in the nuts. *Possibility: She rolled around and hit him on accident. ~NOPE, because we already killed the possibility of them being in bed, for one. Two, I would think his nuts would be protected by his legs. Three, she wouldn't have kneed them, but rolled on them. *Possibility: She whirled around so quickly that she hit him on accident. ~NOPE, because think about this, how can that POSSIBLY happen, really? Her knees and his balls must stick pretty damn far out. =SHE HAD to have hit him on purpose. Conclusion: OP, dump that stupid bitch. There is absolutely no excuse for her behavior. "Oh gosh but he put his cold hands on her back!" Big ******* deal. It's not like he then pulled out her spine and fed it back to her, or pushed her down the stairs, or did anything whatsoever to her other than maybe make her jump. Reyo has full point.

GrapefruitZoe, obviously you didn't read very carefully. If he was touching her back as a prank, obviously he wasn't trying to fall asleep, and therefore her crushing his nut was not an immediate reaction to his touching her back. Logic is a friend, so use it. DameGreyWulf is completely right.

Skull_300 0

**** that Bitch!!! I would throw her down the steps or push her in front of a train!!!

Ok person, she did it LATER, AFTER it happened that night at bed. And another thing (this for the girls), dont do that. You know why its hurts? Because Its a pretty much much an organ protected by only a thin layer of skin. How would you like to get kicked in an organ? (Yes, i know, that previous sentence made no possibe sense, but think on it)

I have kids, I've been kicked in various organs. Repeatedly. Try being kicked in the kidney from the inside, then peeing blood for three days. And yes, a fetus CAN kick that hard. Crushing his ******** was too extreme, but He deserved something. I'd have just put ice down his pants while sleeping.

GET THE BITCH BACK! THAT SHIT HURTS!!!!!!!!!

reyo I agree. 103, that's funny. but he definitely doesn't deserve crushed nuts. that's just mean. I know most girls don't believe it hurts that bad, but have u ever seen a mishit in an mma fight?

Ohhh, I hope it gets better. But YDI

kittycat1597 10

22- I see what you did there, you used a family guy example. :)

dump the bitch before you loose a ********(s). if she can't take a little joke like that then she is disposable move on to something else

fakkumairaifu 14

Dude, she did it by accident. Back the **** off. Maybe if you weren't so obsessed with your nuts you'd be able to find a girlfriend, too.

where in the post mentioned that she did it by accident? I guess you have no nuts left to worry about huh?

By saying "accident," I'm assuming that you thought the she kneed him as a natural reaction. You are incorrect. He said "while I was trying to fall asleep." This means that she waited for him to be vulnerable to her revenge. So, in conclusion, the girlfriend DID overreact.

I agree with number 3 gees number 11 bitter much?! she totally deserves to be dumped or to have her nipple cut off

to have her nipple cut off? hell no, rip her whole ****** tit off with a fork

Scorpion_Queen 3

Well dang I don't think it was an accident.

What 5 said. She can't take THAT small a joke? In fact, stab her twice.

Stab her a few extra times for me too. But where and with what is all up to you.

trojan124 0

any FML containing the phrase "I thought it would be funny" is an automatic YDI.

At least what he did would leave no permanent damage! YLIF.

ravar5 0

why does everyone act like only one party is in the wrong and that party is totaly to blame dont think in black and white, consider the grey

that seems like a disproportionate response, indeed. There's only one thing for it, escalation!

Slap in the face? That's a-paddlin! Punch in the arm? That's a-paddlin! Knee to the ******** while trying to sleep? That's a-tazering, gagging, bounding with rope, putting in your trunk, driving 2 hours to the middle of nowhere, letting her out, shooting both her legs with a 9mm, and driving away without her while listening to Nobody's Fool by Cinderella.

Erindub 0

Thats not cool. Testies are ALWAYS off limits...well unless you are legitametly getting attacked!

You can find another girl friend, but not another ******** ..