Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you totally deserved it (5844)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Also, please remember to use complete sentences, not fragments.
#15 - On 11/02/2009 at 3:57am by aaaaa12345
eww. Rule number one, never take a shit in a guys house your just starting to date.
#3 - On 11/02/2009 at 3:02am by jamila123
I thought rule number one was to always have Plan B pills and a coat hanger ready...
Or have I been going about life the wrong way?
#4 - On 11/02/2009 at 3:06am by allmidnighteyes
LOL???? WTF??? it took you all day to pick out a plunger.... "we need to make this quick, shits getting all over my floor" "wait, should we get the wooden handle or the plastic one" "this one dont feel like a good enough one to unclog ur epic shit" "maybe we should go to another walmart this one dont seem to have the selection i desire" "but this one comes with a mini plunger for the sink"..... ????????????
Shit Happens!!
YOU did not mess up his toilet in one use, not matter what you blew into it.
He has probably been flushing condoms, that will back things up in no time.
Poor you, in so many ways.
Not true, I can destroy a toilet in a single use. It's quite easy, for us special people who go once a week...
How is she stupid? Just wondering , if I stay at someones place, she said she flew there, I do crunches in their bathroom! What do you wait till you fly home?
Dumb and Dumber??? I'm pretty sure it was the pet groomer. But its ok, im pretty sure they'll let you play in the next one...
Look on the bright side, it could be worse. XD
The first time I flew to see the guy I love, I destroyed the toilet at his parents' place. I clogged it so horribly that the thing backed up and vomited its contents so much that the wave of horror reached all the way to the living room carpet outside the toilet room.
Great memories, the two of us panicking and rushing to fix the mess before his parents saw the tragedy... :X
aww bless ya moemoemoe! That is bad enough to deal with when you're on your own with only the Drain Doctor :/
#17 - On 11/02/2009 at 4:44am by ilovecowboys
That was my question.
Maybe they got hopelessly lost in Wal-Mart like in a redneck version of "The Blair Witch Project."
Or they were stunned and confused by the vast array of plungers and "plunging systems that are out-of-the-box 24/7 turnkey solutions to 21st century plunging challenges" that Wal-Mart offers in their Fecal Matter Department (which also sells fertilizer, alibis and biscuits that'll give you a shit-eating grin.)
Finally, and I think the most likely, is that they were being stalked by the paparazzi from peopleofwalmart.com who recognized this couple of morons as subjects of highly lucrative prize photos.
So? He knows you're a human being. If he's worth a damn he can get over it. You have shared a special, intimate moment which may be the source of private "in-jokes" between you for years to come.
If he can't deal with it forget him. He never was worth it after all.
#20 - On 11/02/2009 at 5:29am by wellinever
Exactly how is clogging his toilet with shit an "intimate moment". I suppose if she called him in to show him she took and elephant sized dump and they started making out....just mabey
Well it's hardly a public moment (at least it wasn't until it got posted on FML) and he knows about it since they went to get a plunger together. So it will be a part of their shared history and something I expect they will want to keep private. If they stay together it can well be something they will be able to laugh about with each other. So yes, I'd say that was an intimate moment.
#22 - On 11/02/2009 at 6:11am by wellinever
True, but the way you say it, "special, intimate" makes it sound like you think its romantic. You can't deny that that combination is usually reserved for romance, no?
I agree. I wouldn't exactly want to always treasure that shitty moment together. Imagine trying to put that into your wedding vows. Ewww.
#26 - On 11/02/2009 at 6:47am by girlygirl666
I never said romantic. But a relationship is built on sharing expereinces through life, and this is one that would definitely be memorable. How they choose to deal with it is between them, but surely it is better to laugh about it in private than bury it as a hideous shameful secret, or be so disgusted that they can't bear to see each other again. The OP is clearly emabarrassed about it, so I'm saying they should make light of it. Make it a joke between them and get over it.
If he farted when she is around, would she be so shocked that she'd leave him? I doubt it.
#27 - On 11/02/2009 at 6:49am by wellinever
wellinever: you think buying a plunger to unclog the toilet is intimate? what do you have a poop fetish? either way, gtfo the internet
#28 - On 11/02/2009 at 7:09am by epicwinmaster
Such hostility. All I'm saying is it was a natural event and that she should make light of it. Other people have posted much worse comments.
#29 - On 11/02/2009 at 7:13am by wellinever
It took all day at Walmart to find a plunger? One clogged toilet ruined the whole trip? That's bizarre. 1st, you flew to see a guy who doesn't own a plunger - no forethought when he moved in: Plunger is an essential, like furniture, towels and toilet paper. 2nd, lots of places sell plungers. WalMart or not, it should have taken you all of 10 minutes to find a plunger and leave. Either you're exagerating quite a bit, or you're both too stupid to be in a relationship together. If it's the former, great, you embellished nicely. If it's the latter, break up now before you reproduce.
Random thoughts...
1) It is not a matter of how long you spent at Walmart looking for a plunger... it is that you spent the day TOGETHER looking for a plunger at Walmart.
2) I travel alot and have stopped up hotel toilets the world over. Best unclogger? Wire coat hanger. bend it to elongate it, plunge into hole, turn it a few times, and away goes trouble down the drain... 98% of time. The other 2% of the time, just let the cleaning lady handle it. P.S.: don't hang the coat hanger back in the closet...
3) Next time resist anal sex unless you first clean the colon. Packing the fudge can result in intestinal nerve sensations that make you want to really go...
4) Now he knows you take dumps. You destroyed his perceptions of you. You are now just average to him.
THis screams of Internet meet. Couldn't we just save time and say "Today I chatted with someone online and i think I like them. FML"
#34 - On 11/02/2009 at 8:17am by ultraslick
If I ever do something THAT embarassing it's usually at home (we're all humans) . And why use a pulnger? Just wash it down with a bucket of water and save yourself the public embarssment.
#35 - On 11/02/2009 at 8:18am by juicy_extasy
it took you a day to buy this plunger? how fucking big is this walmart?
#42 - On 11/02/2009 at 10:57am by paivarotti
Oh god stop with the bad shit puns. But yeah that sucks why would you take a shit in his bathroom..I never do that i always do it in my own bathroom so I don't stink up other peoples bathrooms .-.
#44 - On 11/02/2009 at 11:35am by LikeOhMahGoose
Damn that's unfortunate. Blocking our girlfriends' toilets is a shared fear amongst my friends and me.
#45 - On 11/02/2009 at 11:36am by Chunchunchun
They got sidetracked by all the craptastic goodies within. By the way, all these goodies are made in China by little kids in sweatshops who make pennies/day and work around 20hrs/day. Ever consider that?
BTW YDI for being a toilet bowl filler. You must be a total carnivore to be dropping massive lincoln logs, in your boyfriend's toilet no less. Classy!
You "spent the day" running a half-hour errand? Yeah, right.
Oh, and don't mark prepositional phrases as sentences. It makes you look stupid. If you can't write, then find someone else to make the original post for you.
#54 - On 11/02/2009 at 4:24pm by blastvortex
I love people who can't find anything in a post to make fun of the OP for, so they turn to grammar to attempt to make themselves feel better. 54 is a prime example of the sad way of life some people lead.
haha wow i feel bad that you clogged it! and that for the fact you are from iowa....i am from iowa.... lmao
#56 - On 11/02/2009 at 5:22pm by AnUThughUHdItBad
Am I the only one wondering why he didn't have a plunger? I don't know anyone without a plunger.
#57 - On 11/02/2009 at 5:30pm by Loverfli
I always love going to Wal-Mart with my friends. I wouldn't consider my day wasted if I spent it in Wal-Mart with my boyfriend.
#59 - On 11/02/2009 at 5:44pm by DefyingGravity
1... how do you spend a whole day in walmart buying a plunger?
2... why didn't he already have a plunger?
#61 - On 11/02/2009 at 7:07pm by fuckingshitt343
I'd say your life rocks- he still loves you, even when you're poo-ey :) not all of us get that.
#62 - On 11/02/2009 at 7:21pm by justmeagirl
hey guys, how many idiots does it take to buy a plunger at Wal-Mart?
#63 - On 11/02/2009 at 7:55pm by PistachioNut94
All day??? Seriously ? Let me guess... they didn't have one in your color?
#66 - On 11/03/2009 at 3:36am by CallMeHush
OMG this is great, best thing i've read in foreva!!! im from iowa 2 so this just made my day :D haha
#73 - On 11/04/2009 at 8:30pm by bodylotion
wow id be totaly embarrassed. but im proud of you, you didnt let it get to you. and the whole day at walmart thing... i think its a good way to spend additional time with each other and to get out of the house for a while because it had to stink. heh
#74 - On 11/04/2009 at 9:49pm by prntl_ovrload
Does it really take an entire day to find a plunger these days? ESPECIALLY at Wal-Mart.
#76 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:27am by HighLife19
This made my day. 3 years in love? And your not ready to take the plunge. LMFAO I hope your relationship isn't crappier.
#78 - On 12/04/2009 at 11:48pm by Mermaidbella
