I respect OP's patience, marriage can be quite a leap for some couples.

They might've been waiting until they were both more financially stable, but the ring was a promise that it wasn't a dead end relationship.

Just realized my original comment didn't make much sense in the context of the FML. I respect OP's dedication, and it is more than likely that her future in-laws simply don't like her.

"my fiance and his family" It seems the fiance is accusing too. He probably found himself a new girl, BECAUSE of his new found wealth, who will **** him poor. He would rather date her than OP.

I missed that entirely, great observation. In that case, the fiancé himself is also refusing to go through with the wedding, which is making him out to be a complete asshole. OP would probably be better off not married to such a man, IMHO.

Nothing too surprising here. My husband and I were engaged for four years before we could afford to pay for our wedding. We also moved to two different states in that time period and had to resettle ourselves before saving and planning. Not every situation or engagement is ideal. Sounds like they were saving up and becoming stable before they got married. Sucks that he wasn't as committed to the relationship. :(

He's just a dick making you out to be the bad guy so he doesn't have to be. Its yours and his relationship, not the parent's. Hell, the parents are probably afraid he'd give you more money than him if he married you, therefore not liking you. He sounds like a little boy stuck on mommy's teet, lose him!

It might be a different situation since my father and his girlfriend are both 51. I'm not sure if age is a factor. But they've been together for almost 10 years and engaged for almost half of that. They're just moving in together this summer and planning on officializing their relationship through marriage. Sometimes it's better to wait.

I'm actually engaged for 8 years at the moment. He's only getting married because I want to so he pretty much let's me decide whatever I want when it comes to the date. We love each other, we know we want to be together, so there's no rush behind it. While 8 years of engagement sounds mental, it doesn't if you got all the details. I got engaged before starting my higher education (at 17,5 years old), we moved in during my 3rd year of education (and I wouldn't want to get married without living together) and I recently finished my bachelor's degree (about a year ago). I didn't want to get married during school, that's hectic enough and afterwards I wanted to focus on getting a job. Now that I've got a steady job, plans are moving forwards, for 2018. I'm recently employed, I still need to save up some. So by the time we are married we'll have been engaged for 11 years and together for 12. Sounds like a lot but it really isn't?

Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that he was penniless when she accepted and weddings are very expensive?

Actually in the Indian culture they get engaged and they call it dating until the family and couple set a date. It is quite interesting on how it is done. I learned some aspects of the culture from my ex boss.

If you have intentions of spending your entire life together, 4 years is nothing, besides, if he was penniless four years ago and rich now then clearly he's been very career focused in that time

Haha your getting downvoted so much but this is my first thought. Its not immediately obvious as to whether or not they did anything about it or talked to the family/fiancé about it and I'm really curious too.

But your crazy in-laws sure seem to

Why are you getting down voted!? I thought it was funny

#56 I think it's because #5 separated the comment. Maybe some people didn't get the joke until they read the second comment?

My phone decided to post the comment halfway finished :(

i cant help but notice you are now #69! I love my dirty ass mind!

The fiancé is also accusing the OP. Amnesia?

Nope, just being a douchebag.

It's amazing the influence some people allow their families to have on their decisions. Especially if he's a bit of a momma's boy.

In Indian culture the parents have HUGE influence on who one marries.

He's probably just easily led by his parents' words. Also, I'm a little bit iffy about a lot of people calling him a mother's boy. He has a father too and the father could be doing most of the talking for all we know. In fact, "in-laws" could be referring to his entire family.

in parts of India marriage is like a business transaction. and often it is the grooms parents who call the shots. there is a belief that a bride is an 'investment' and even though dowry is illegal that factors in too. it's really miserable for women. and anyone wanting to have a non-arranged marriage

I wonder if the fiancé is upset at all about the engagement being so long, if op is the one that wants to wait and has been pushing the date further and further away? Maybe it doesn't have as much to do with gold digging (for him) as much as him questioning why op doesn't want to get married yet? Just a possibility. I don't understand how the fiancé can really think she's a gold digger if she was with him when he was penniless. Maybe the in laws think she's a gold digger and he's questioning her commitment to actually getting married?

Sounds like my ex, didn't have much untill after we got together then his mother saw how serious we were getting and got scared he'd move out and take his money with him so she planted all kinds of ideas in his head about me and he actually believed it

They lack common cents.

I'll take rich and stupid over poor and smart.

Remember: stupid people will squander the riches. Then what?

There we go #20!!!

What? Someone could have all the finest qualities. Loyalty, compassion, honesty, and be attractive as well, while dumb as a box of rocks. But their money allows you to travel the world, eat the finest foods, etc. Or you could be with a broke, smart ass who says, "This is why we can't have nice things."

So....take advantage of the dumb rich person or cry because you aren't allowed to flop in riches with the smart, poor person? Not sure if I'm getting that right...

You know #20, it's not all about money, it's about genuine love. It sounds like you've never experienced that or you would know that it's more valuable than all the money and nice things in the world.

No, you're saying I can't love someone stupid. Being rich would just be a plus.

Stupid things also make people money.