Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
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Top comments
Zarcissa 34
Well, she's an idiot... I think you're better off. Why was she looking through your hard drive anyway?
jgwyh 18
Rookie mistake, always clear search history or change the folder name to anything but "****".
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Comments (236)
Ihavegas 22
she is such a douche
colton_colton 50
I feel like this whole world lacks common sense!
ambear26 14
To be honest it sounds like she just wanted a reason to dump you.
incoherentrmblr 21
The movie Don Jon comes to mind after reading this...
colton_colton 50
She should've just broken up with him over finding a reaskn to!
robotiick7 23
122-common sense isn't so common any more
ShadowSneaker360 16
What #172 said. What we call common sense has become rare sense. Now, common sense is no achievement at all.
abnormalbird 11
She is a special kind of stupid.
Zarcissa 34
Well, she's an idiot... I think you're better off. Why was she looking through your hard drive anyway?
torio123 27
because that's what crazy girlfriends who think lesbian **** = gay boyfriend do!
littlem91 29
Because her computer is on but her hard drive doesn't work.
NeatNit 32
surely when your boyfriend downloads **** that has more girl and less guys, that must mean he's gay. What straight guy doesn't like to see other guys naked?
Wonder_Woman257 11
To be honest I would be happy even if my boyfriend was gay…
WompWompWomp123 7
^ what?
Ambient25 24
dafuq did I just read...
coried91 28
She needs to find her sense of adventure. If I saw that on my husband's hard drive I'd watch it with him. Then again I don't go snooping through his stuff.
GangstaPenguin 7
Oh please, every girl eventually pries through her boyfriend's business at least once. Some just go overboard with it, and assume shit. Like her.
brandoneyez1 25
Leno doesn't like lesbian ****? Honestly, girls like it, guys love it, lesbian girls live off it so I guess only gay guys wouldn't watch that.
Wonder_Woman257 11
It means I am desperate
Bowmana 14
196, Being 16, I don't think you should be desperate. Being desperate could lead you to dating someone who doesn't treat you right, and you could be blinded because you're finally in a relationship. Also, not many high school relationships last.
coried91 28
185- If you were responding to me then honestly, I don't go through my husband's stuff. It's pointless and will cause fighting that's over stupid shit. A lot of people that could have had an amazing relationship end it over pointless crap, like OP here had to go through, for not trusting the significant other enough. Snooping is petty.
lonelyguy1995 5
She was looking through his Hard drive because she wanted the ":D"
jgwyh 18
Rookie mistake, always clear search history or change the folder name to anything but "****".
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Or find a partner that doesn't care that you watch ****.
Ambient25 24
Growing up I changed mine to say "Trigonometry 120". Nobody would ever want to read that...
KK3137 31
It's a slight turn off, though, isn't it? "Ooh goodie, I shall watch some **** now" *looks forward to it, finds folder* "Hehe, Trigonometry 120. Can't wait!" Somehow, unless trig turns you on unusually much, I could think of a better name.. Then again, nobody would click on it.. Hmm
Vahex 19
So i could name it p0rn and no one would know...
Bano360 25
Or you have a **** folder named ****, for regular ****. Then you have one for **** you think people will be weirded out by, hidden elsewhere.
Zarcissa 34
#3: Also hiding the folder helps.
Soloman212 28
Good thinking 71. No ones gonna stop looking until they find SOME ****. Otherwise they know you still have something to hide.
Ambient25 24
#52 you are the definition of "taking it out of context"...
XxDevilxXGt 26
Or don't download ****, I'm not sure who even does that anymore!
nix1993 41
See I never got the whole issue girlfriends apparently have with guys watching ****. Everybody does it. I do it. Plus, if watching lesbian **** makes you gay I must be the biggest lesbian going.
ALgamon_fml 0
#99 plenty of people still do, cause why buy it when you can download it for free lol. Also I'd be happy if my hubby would go whack it every once in a while instead of bugging me for sex all the time when I'm clearly in no mood for it after takin care of our 1 and a half year old all day and having to take care of my deminta stricken grandma for 12+ hours a day on certain days plus the stupid amounts of pain I'm in daily cause my doctors suck dont know how to listin or know how to do their damn jobs right.
nix1993 41
104? Um, I think you meant dementia? Also i'm really not sure fmylife is the right place to be sharing all of that... I think you need to talk to your husband.
Ambient25 24
Just imagine doge: Much ****. I am excite. Super quality. Good fantasy. Wow.
RadikulRam 16
#126 Let's not bring memes for 13 year old kids to FML please.
laden_swallow09 34
104- Judging by your commenting and your profile, you sound like you were forced into a shotgun wedding and now pissed because you couldn't figure out how to get money for contraceptives or just couldn't keep your legs closed. I suppose a high school diploma is more of a medical validation than a Ph.D. nowadays, too. Get over yourself, kid. You're only angry because you're just now figuring out that the world doesn't revolve around you.
Devilknighthawk 9
Also you could hide the folder...
Axipiter 24
104, eeeeeeeeasy there, Tiguan.
Bad1z 13
just use truecrypt to encrypt your stash
little_one 20
It's pr0n. FYI.
brackaman 18
Or do what I did. Download several trolling videos, including rick rolling, and name them something like 'filthy **** sex.', then leave them scattered across the computer. Eventually she won't even bother to look at them anymore.
Kazze 31
Here's a trick for anyone that may be reading this: On the desktop, create a new folder, click "rename", hold down ALT while typing 0160 on the numberpad, then save the name. Then, go to properties, and change the icon to be blank. Now you have one stealth-ass **** folder.
shhhaaarrron 12
If she doesn't trust you, she doesn't deserve you!
sicksadworld1317 30
In this case I agree with you, seeing as she broke up with him- but I'm not liking this statement in general. Lots of people have trust issues, and that may or may not be through fault of their own. Things like that don't get fixed overnight, and sometimes it takes having a good thing to hold on to to learn to trust again, and to believe that you can. I just hope we're not generalizing people with trust issues and deeming them undeserving of a relationship. This girl seems more dense than anything, not simply untrusting. That is all :)
ThatFancyPenn 18
Valid point, but the task question we should be asking here is, why does OP still download ****?
Ihavegas 22
I would have said that I'm trying to discover my sensitive side!
whyisitme12 19
I'm going to die of a laugh attack
VampOfSavannah 31
Hmm... Perhaps she needs to look up the difference between lesbian and gay folks. Not to mention, you don't need to be with someone so insecure that she sifts through your computer.
TXFernwoods 26
To be honest the only noticeable difference between lesbian and gay is gender. It's still homosexual.
VampOfSavannah 31
That is precisely the difference.
noone2 15
Security first ;)
Rainhawk94 27
I feel like no amount of security could have stopped this now ex girlfriend anyways
Axipiter 24
A straightjacket might be able to.
skip_m 6
Yep. You're secretly a lesbian trapped in a man's body and all you want is to climb into bed with several women going at it. What's wrong with that?
xerbrus 14
Are we talking about me?
JD1147 27
Billy Connolly once said, "I've been reading up on lesbians recently, things they like to do sexually... I think I might be one..."
StiffPvtParts 43
I'm sorry to hear that, OP. It sounds to me like she might have been looking for an excuse to dump you (._.)
AKGirlinSD 20
That was my first thought too. She could have been planning this a long time but decided to use a reason, that has no logic, behind it.
ffffffffck 13
Logic. She will have a hard time finding out that she was right, that yes, indeed, you were into girls all that time.