Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying, "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
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Top comments
pikachulove14 14
At least he is a good friend and told you.
lukeyhoward79236 17
At least you found out that way, rather than her attempting cheating on you, and your friend was honest to tell you what happened, you have a good friend there
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Comments (104)
teddy4nyy 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe she isn't interested in him and wants to be his friend....although probably not.
Sea_shelle 12
If she only wanted to be friends, why would she "slip it to him"?
caohm 18
You're more optimistic than spongebob on any given day. I wish the world was as nice as you think it is.
Welshite 39
#1: How old are you? Do your parents know you are smoking? Yeah, I read your profile. You're going to get hate from me over your picture.
BRLHP 24
Yeah #1 your way to young to be smoking. Do you think you cool because of it? Because your not.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
This is fml fellas, not a life lesson site. The cigar doesn't even look like it's lit. Maybe he's reenacting a Scarface bit, either way, it's his body, not yours.
Enslaved 36
Phallic symbol? Freud would have a mouthful too. :P
vipirius 18
60. Like you said, this is FML, since when did people mind their own business here?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your profile picture..just.. smh.
dawnimus 21
I'm not trying to hate on your picture #1, but how old exactly are you?!
mFUNdo21 17
ditch the bitch
silvercamaro 22
Wait, probably not? I'm thinking that's DEFINITELY not the case
teddy4nyy 13
@82 I'm 15 years old
Gingerette 8
That was a test, #1, and you failed. No personal info. Ever. Or you will ultimately be punished.
pikachulove14 14
At least he is a good friend and told you.
pinkchocoa 15
And at least he told you after you left
pikachulove14 14
^^true dat
icyhottt 11
That is exactly what i was thinking it's rare to find people that would do that for you instead of keeping it a secret
Wakachulak 22
Unless he doesn't like OP's gf and the text was a lie. Hey, it's happened plenty of times...
pikachulove14 14
well if she really did slip him her number,he'll have proof.
IceCreamMage 17
He could simply write her number out on a piece if paper or a napkin if he really wanted to forge some evidence.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Ever heard of 'different handwriting' #115?
twinkiefeets 17
115- why would op's friend have the girlfriends number to fake?
Rechee20 13
How would he even have her number in the first place.? So basically he can't just write it down if he doesn't know it.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Looks like he waited for the right moment.
silvercamaro 22
Was this pun intended, you are quite clever
BntyHntrSeattle 30
It would have been better if I pulled a Perdix. "Looks like he... *lowers sunglasses* waited for the right moment." But yes, 'twas intended.
Spider_Web 11
It took me several rereads to get that pun
jensen21 19
Get rid of her, Buddy.
WalterWhite_ 3
Send her to Belize.
BRLHP 24
Walter, your wife cheated on you, yet she isn't in Belize.
WalterWhite_ 3
She's family. She is off limits.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
So.. If I cheat on a girl she's going to pay for my ticket to Belize!? Look out world, I'm going to cheat until you pay for my flight! I always wanted to see the Mayan temples down there. And that barrier reef!? Count me in!
MBSC 11
Seriously? Maybe it's time for a new girlfriend OP.
symfora 17
Maybe? No. Its just time.
lukeyhoward79236 17
At least you found out that way, rather than her attempting cheating on you, and your friend was honest to tell you what happened, you have a good friend there
AshaaFerreira 22
Sadly I think she may be already cheating
TheDrifter 23
If she isn't, it's not for a lack of trying on her part.
amaindayyy46 20
Wow, you have a terrible girlfriend. Be happy you at least have a good friend.
every1luvsboners 11
She slipped my buddy her number so I slipped her decomposing rotting corpse into the river.
Welshite 39
You do like them tender, don't you Boners.
ThatFancyPenn 18
There's two kinds of people in this world.
Spider_Web 11
Who likes tender boners?!
DocBastard 38
I swear, the first person to say "threeway" gets a Coke bottle up his ass.
Welshite 39
Is that how you got yours? Naughty naughty doctor. ;)
Dracoboxer357 35
11- *Takes a breath to say just that...* *Eyeballs the pic...* *Sits back down, silently.* ;P
BluKatz 11
Oh they should have a threewa...oh. Nevermind. OP's hopefully soon to be ex might want that bottle for herself later.
52564 8
You spoil my fun, but really, poor guy. I had a few girlfriends like that. Nothing but heartache.
Mr_Satan 11
I dunno Doc... that comment... it kind of makes it sound like you want to make it a fourway...
Welshite 39
*neighs*
Ins0mau 20
A three way with a Coke bottle up one's arse?! Kinky!
purebliss_fml 19
You should investigate before jumping to conclusions. I didn't know people still wrote their phone numbers down on paper.. These days you just get a friend request on Facebook.
your_ma 27
This is extremely not jumping to conclusions. No further investigation needed?!
SweetasCandy0609 28
#12 then you spend way to much time on the computer, and what more does he need to investigate she gave his friend number while on a date with him that's all he needs to know
purebliss_fml 19
So his friend definitely isn't making it up or playing some kind of stupid joke on him?
ultra_notorious 26
fakebook is for fakes!
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
113--I agree with you. A few people on here have made this observation but most just think ops friends word is the gods honest truth. Friends backstab friends. .Lifes shit sometimes.
ApplesAndPears 10
My boyfriends friend lied and said I was cheating. It caused a lot of fights. Things like this do happen :(