Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML
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Top comments
cottoncandymango 17
Well, are you or are you not the father?
chanellgymnast 17
What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?
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Comments (104)
cottoncandymango 17
Well, are you or are you not the father?
naxeeb 33
She's obviously looking for her daddy, not her father. Sheesh!
hessel 13
its the same thing
LMFAOwned 9
Clearly he isn't the father. That was his first time at her place, and for the rebuttal of others who say they could have made love elsewhere, they've only been dating 3 months. It takes 9 months to conceive a child, plus the girl in this one is clearly not just a newborn baby. Elementary, my dear Watson.
Pwn17 25
No shit he isn't the father. 1 was being sarcastic.
stanjohnson 11
It only takes a few moments to conceive a child. It takes nine monthsish to bring it to full term and birth it
Jjimen1654 9
The results are back and OP, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!
Rainbow_sparkles 7
well she was his girlfriend of 3 months so... most likely not
Fernando83 19
it was obviously meant as a joke.
MisterEx 28
You never know these days. They grow up so fast *sniff*
Scynistr 20
So.. You have to be dating to have sex? Oops...
Phyre24 17
@24 exactly! I can't believe people here haven't thought of that! It was driving me a bit mad actually...
perdix 29
They could have had a one-night stand a few years ago, and they only started dating regularly 3 months ago. Possible, but not likely.
hashshim 23
32: I sincerely hope that it takes you longer than a few moments to conceive a child.
MuppetMerkin 10
Fun fact: The average gestation is 40 weeks. The average month is 4 weeks. So gestation averages 10 months, not 9. People started with the 9 months thing because most people find out they are pregnant about a month after conception and the doctor tell them they have 9 more months to go.
Genociiide 15
I'm pretty sure this was a reference to one of those shows, like the Maury show. haha
jujubeef 10
Asshole. You. Yes.
Quinn32 16
74- Only one month is 4 weeks, February. All others are slightly longer than 4 weeks making 40 weeks closer to 9 months. By your logic a year (52 weeks) would be 13 months because that would be 4 weeks each, which is clearly not correct.
BabyGirlJr1 11
*maury voice
Sober1128 9
It's so not the same thing.
Sober1128 9
Fun fact: you don't actually conceive until the second-third week. That 40 weeks is counted from the last period. Conception doesn't happen until about 2 weeks from then (they assume.) that's when most women ovulate. Pregnancy math.
DoomSkuller 28
Fun fact: Sherlock never utters the phrase "Elementary, my dear Watson." or anything similar in the books.
prljm10 10
Huh? You've never met this girl before? You're not sure your girlfriend has a kid? What mind of relationship is this?!?
peacheso 31
Kind*
OverFlash 15
I don't see where it says she's the girlfriends daughter. Could be a younger sister or something.
Zomg_Okay 26
2 - This is the kind of relationship that, if the FML is taken at face value, is extremely unhealthy on account of the girlfriend's dishonesty. She could be hiding anything from OP.
Laurenluvz 11
39- Are you my mummy?
klm2purple 18
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!^^
asia3pea90 13
Exactly!!.
chanellgymnast 17
What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?
MattTheSlovenian 10
Well maybe its a secret plot where she wants to marry you,then dump u and get the alimony!
Infamous_Tora 12
Dude... No.
kidclarke 15
Time for Maury.
Crammed 10
So is this an fml cause you found out your gf has a daughter.. Or is it cause it took you three months to make it around to her place??
stanjohnson 11
Maybe its an FML because in three months of dating she didn't tell him she had a kid?
Tinkerbell133_fml 5
I think more so because it took him 3 months to find out that his gf has a kid.
DjeePee 24
I can imagine saying: "hey, did you know I already have a kid?" on the first date will blow some potential good boyfriends fastly away.
stanjohnson 11
Hiding the fact you have a child for three months will too. I think it would be better to let him know day one, If that runs him off no need in the woman wasting her time.
SWC_Penguin 17
And you usually only have 1 date in the first 3 months?
DjeePee 24
No. But still... it isn't that hard to understand why she did it. I've read some articles about single parents and almost all of them say that it's way harder to get a relationship, and some of them even admit they lie about it for the first dates/months, just to get a chance. I'm not defending her lying, but I can see why she did it, keeping in mind all those great guys who ran away from the moment she said she has a child.
marcranger 28
I'm with you, 33. Yeah, putting the fact that you have a kid out there on or before the first date might ruin your chances of future dates, but if the date in question is like me, the relationship is going nowhere regardless of timing because I don't like kids and don't want to get involved with anyone who has them. Better for both parties not to waste any time with someone who is fundamentally incompatible.
everton99 16
That's exactly what my girlfriend told me on our first real date and I'm only 18. It didn't matter to me I still wanted to be with her, and I still am with her. I understand you may not want a child, but it's kinda hard not to love them, they're so cute! I never wanted a child until I started dating my girlfriend.
TheDrifter 23
Personally I think they're disgusting little creatures, always leaking at one end or the other, but give them a couple years and they're fine. I'd go with third our forth date info about the kids. Too soon frightens suitors off, too late makes you seem like a liar and of course you'll want to take a couple dates to make sure the nice guy act isn't a cover for a sociopath before informing them about your loved ones.
Yellow_Fish79 11
lol... Kids these days.
perdix 29
Funny that never came up in three months of dating. I wonder what other kind of secrets are hidden in Pandora's box (or whatever her name is.)
graceinsheepwear 33
That one little secret is out of her box already and greeting him at the door.
perdix 29
#15, well, that is one, but how many others are there?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
I feel sad for that little girl who clearly misses having a daddy