excusemeprincess
Middle Island, United States
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
Top comments
jcrb 11
feel free to come to my place...
Darksoul09 16
Wow. I feel like a cliche comment should go here. like. "I hope you dump him" or something along those lines. Because you really deserve better than that. Nobody should have to put up with some guy doing that kind of stuff.
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Comments (184)
jcrb 11
feel free to come to my place...
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Thumb up from me. I thumbed down by mistake. Stupid App.
erockinthesuburb 17
Seems like on FML there are a lot of girls willing to dress up like sexy characters. Y U NO LIVE NEAR ME?!?!
wildcat90 1
Hell yeah!!! Mine too
MrBrightside21 20
27 - Oh the things I would do for a girl who dressed up like Princess Leia for me. Without me having to 'force' her. Cuz that's illegal and all.
tjv3 10
Damn OP that sucks and for him to be so careless to bring home a stripper who knows what kind of stds she could have. That's just sad I hate cheaters
iBeCareless 7
Birthday threesome...
yoyoforpeace 14
I don't suppose he suggested you both stay?
verkaderk 9
How dare you! She's a nice lady!!!
EMTchic 14
99) The Hangover reference! I officially love you =D
HeartOfLead 24
# 55, it is? Well, I'll have to excuse myself, for I have witnesses to take care of...
Master0fTheDark 13
oops, nothing to see here. I wish I could delete comments. feel free to bury this.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Who WOULDN'T wanna dress up as sexy characters :D?!! I'm thinking the blue chick from Halo 4 or Misty from Pokemon haha :D
allard 14
"The blue chick". She's like my one true love!
goldenone 2
Cortana!
seamonkeys 10
70, there's a big difference between hookers and strippers.
Darksoul09 16
Wow. I feel like a cliche comment should go here. like. "I hope you dump him" or something along those lines. Because you really deserve better than that. Nobody should have to put up with some guy doing that kind of stuff.
AKGirlinSD 20
It's very clear that OP's (hopefully) now ex-boyfriend had an awesome girlfriend and he was too stupid to even see it. OP, you're pretty much every guys' fantasy and a lot of girls' too!
ducki1989 4
I'm sorry that happened OP. Hopefully, he is now an EX-boyfriend.
Wishez 12
.
Wishez 12
Sorry for my comment, I thought 3's comment was on a different post and so what I commented originally was irrelevant to this one and sounded pretty stupid.
VannahJane 17
#3 thats the most generic thing to say
vadaaa 11
25- but I bet you have a thumbs up to darksoul09's comments.
vadaaa 11
Oops, gave*
8lur 3
Why not dress like princess Zelda?
musicalnoodles23 5
(See comment 4)
LlamaUprising 10
(See time posted)
Pleonasm 35
Your boyfriend has the Triforce of Douchebaggery. You should kick him in his little Deku nuts.
HowieDoIt 21
Looks like he'll be playing his own Ocarina for a while
ICastillo 24
Looks like he is going to put his Master Sword in the wrong pedestal this time.
Pleonasm 35
Yea I guess he'll have to pull out the Master Sword on his own EDIT: Dammit ICastillo couldn't you have waited five minutes? D:
ICastillo 24
Sorry Pleonasm. But it was linked to the rest of the thread. I had to put it.
Teyros 24
It appears his compass and map lead him to the wrong room.
Teyros 24
And chest* ;)
VorpikeII 17
I guess he decided to not listen to Navi, and took the wrong girl.
ICastillo 24
#102 who listens to Navi, she always says useless crap.
MyCommentsSuck 21
"HEY LISTEN, I see you're trying to make jokes here, try a triforce joke." "One was already made." "HEY LISTEN, try a triforce joke." Sometimes I really wished I could "accidentally" hit her with something.
androiddestroya 7
Did he pay her in rupees...?
Caruci 7
Lol I would if I could
SoylentCandycorn 10
Pay the ***** with a Rupoor!
wait_for_it_ 3
best.coment.ever. Well done!
dalink 24
Purple rupees for good time.
sunshinethehuman 9
Classy ****** get the yellow rupees
Dracoboxer357 35
Op, I'm sorry your thoughtfulness wasn't returned in kind. I doubt from this one example you deserved that in the least. :(
akiahara 14
Maybe she was a fairy he was planning to put in a jar for a rainy day.
BunchieRules 31
Or maybe she was a hooker... yeah, I'm going with the latter.
akiahara 14
No imagination.
ICastillo 24
I'm imagining playing with those controls in that picture...
keepcalmandbacon 16
Sometimes, a hooker is just a hooker.
akimes94 5
Zelda and Link. The definition of friendzoned
laden_swallow09 34
Not Mario & Peach?
SoylentCandycorn 10
The nice thing about Link and Zelda's relationship is that you never know whether he's going to be friendzoning her, or the other way round.
TheNewGuy03 28
67: Maybe it's part of being a total nerd, but I always wonder when Mario will just say "**** it" and just stop rescuing the apparently witless princess. She needs a laser-fortified security system, and she really, REALLY needs to stop hiring those pussy-ass Toads to mind the castle premises (or at least give them some weapons). Furthermore, Mario needs to stop flying off and doing bullshit at the wrongest times ever. If Super Mario Bros. 2 has taught me anything, Peach can go adventuring WITH MARIO. Oh well.
TheElBurrrito 21
#100, Tell us how you really feel.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Give him the Ocarina of Dumpage.
TheNewGuy03 28
She should look skyward, and not give him so much as a link to her past, as this is the twilight of their relationship. Though this one has diminished, a new one will wake in its place as soon as the sand in the hourglass has disappeared ... or so the oracle said.