Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Internship troubles
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
Ight imma head out
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
We could be heroes
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Transvestigation brain rot casualty
Today, I’m doing my clinicals at a teaching hospital. An irate patient began hurling slurs and demanded I leave the room during her exam. She didn’t care that I was a student; she thought I was a man. I’m not now nor have I ever been male. FML
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML
Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML
Gottem
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Fancy seeing you here!
Today, I was at the doctor's getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirrups, so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe, I looked up to see my brother-in-law. FML
Top comments
thepunman 11
Tell him you work on Uranus.
happyconverse 10
I feel bad for the patient
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Comments (189)
thepunman 11
Tell him you work on Uranus.
Pleonasm 35
"Greetings, asshole. I have come from my home planet of Uranus to sample many human rectums in a bid to understand how your primitive excretion systems work. Probing complete!"
PenguinBitch 43
"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.." To #1 *Urectum
CharresBarkrey 15
I am so glad you changed your original comment, 1. It made absolutely no sense.
AssTard 15
33- Haha. I remember that! "What's it called now?" "Urectum!" I top my hat to you sir, for giving me a good laugh.
thepunman 11
Thank you for reminding everyone on my terrible pun. Feel better now?
thepunman 11
Now I feel like an asshole.
PenguinBitch 43
36- I like how your name relates to the fml. But tipping your hat won't do, you have to give it to me. Nao!
AssTard 15
42- Why would a penguin need a top hat? Unless you're planning on a cosplay of "The Penguin" from Batman? :O
the_fuck_is_this 2
>implying this is a real story
CharresBarkrey 15
Feel better for what? I was genuinely saying I appreciate your new comment more than the previous one.
Ultradmac 9
I love your comments, keep it up:)
OrangeKnife 10
Lmao
happyconverse 10
I feel bad for the patient
andyyroxx 20
Their reaction must have been incredible. 1) ^.^ 2) •_• 3) '~' 4) x.x
mb2_native 15
16, why would the patient be ^.^ While getting his rectum fingered in the first place? Unless you like having a finger in your butt, but that's your business.
andyyroxx 20
19- That's before the fingering.
sigurd 11
I wouldn't be; "^.^", knowing my rectum was going to be examed in the near future, but that's just my opinion.
mb2_native 15
Mine would go straight to #4 once I feel the tip and be at #2 even waiting in line. #3 just seems to be questioning his sexuality to me haha
LiterOfCola 16
Who even knows what the **** "^.^" really means?
mb2_native 15
64, me on a daily basis haha
ICastillo 24
#2 but what if the patient said "its ok you can finish". Then who would you feel bad for?!?
Jessj958 19
#94, I feel bad for the patient AND the doctor! That's a loss lose situation for everyone pretty much.
ICastillo 24
#108 The question is would the OP finish?!?
TomPusslicker 21
I can appreciate the humour in this, but as two said, ya gotta feel bad for the patient...but if it were me, i'd be startled by anyone bursting into the room while im getting my butt examined...i probably wouldnt have even heard what he said...hilarious yet highly unproffesional.
mb2_native 15
Op probably did not even know what to say. Hope he said he was joking before the patient did anything. FYL op, but your boss sounds awesome.
Damian95 16
It would've been more awkward for the patient if the doctor added "And how are both your hands on the patient's shoulders?!"
mb2_native 15
Pretty bad if it still felt like a finger LOL
isallwaysme 27
hey think of it this way, at least he's fun and not a complete ass hat! :D
dmoran20 27
He does sound fun.... Next time you two are in the same room stand next to him and scream NOOO don't touch me there, your not my Uncle!!!
VIP4life 17
52 reminded me of an old joke The patient was in for a rectal exam, while bending over he hears the doctor ask in a serious tone "Can you feel my thumb?" "Yes..." "Well, here's two more
yoyoforpeace 14
If I was OP I would've dropped everything, looked both ways and ran out of the room. "You'll never catch me alive!" Leaving the supervisor to explain what happened.
carmel1110 12
I'd laugh my as off
sux4u121 10
This may sound weird, but I love your supervisor's sense of humor, that is a ******* hilarious prank.
7yzz 18
Haha that would of been hilarious, supervisor is funnycunt =]
baconstrips 12
Lol wut^
felidsentry 17
I would have laughed, too... Then go back into awkward mode as my rectum tightens with laughter.
obnum 19
Yeah I mean it was still pretty funny! xD
SgtAssCheeks 21
This must have been more awkward for the guy (or gal) getting probed...
zandalee 19
Would have definitely been a awkward pause.
JoeGrant 12
If it really is that big of a deal, you could always file a complaint. However I think, even though it was embarrassing, it isn't that big of a deal.
cupcakechick 17
im sure even the patient laughed at it, it was a joke, no need to be uptight about it
trulymickeyj 13
53 and 99 calm down 6 was just saying that if it was serious, their being a good person. 6's comment wasn't that big of a deal, it doesn't make them uptight...
BeachGirl27 23
That's right, there's no need to be anally retentive about such things!
kurodansei 16
The correct answer is: It's okay I work TSA I'm qualified"
mb2_native 15
More like "it's ok, I watched a few doctor tv shows in my day"
trivel64 16
"What kinds of doctor shows?" "Oh you know... um... like... Doctor Who..."
sens3sfailing 24
It's okay, I slept at a holiday in express last night.
CueTheMusic 22
That poor patient, i'd have crapped my pants. Which given the nature of the exam could have made things a whole lot more awkward!
Mister_Triangle 21
But you wouldn't have been wearing pants. You know what they say: a shit in the hands is worth two in the pants
kerrwoof 13
I can just imagine the horrified look on the patients face.
ShannyAK 16
This would be the perfect time to spank him.... You know so he wont do it again
howdeedoo 22
Why would OP spank his boss?
cupcakechick 17
I think he means the patient
Brandonep 13
100- Why would the patient be spanked?
capslockisgood 19
But why would OP spank the patient?