theawfulpresent
Germantown, United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Ella
United States
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get out
Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML
confusedandnowsingle
Espoo, Finland
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
stuck
Hägersten, Sweden
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML
ihateguys
San Francisco, United States
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
and he wonders why I'm anxious
Netherlands
Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML
alltern8ive
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Like in the movies
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
HelpPlease
San Francisco, United States
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML
hh.
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Clear Lake, United States
Oh, the humanity
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML
catt
Berlin, Germany
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Top comments
thelittlebirdie 9
2 reasons to take his advice: A) he obviously doesn't want to be with you. B) He's an idiot....
Jeffo193 13
What a coward, why doesn't he just break up with you? Unless you're some kind of psycho stalker who refuses to be broken up with, in which case I'd take the hint...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
Jeffo193 13
What a coward, why doesn't he just break up with you? Unless you're some kind of psycho stalker who refuses to be broken up with, in which case I'd take the hint...
deBlobX 12
I'd say if he's doing this you should break up anyway, your both obviously not happy to be with each other
Jeffo193 13
Stop hijacking my comment, and *you're.
dalink 24
I doubt a psycho stalker would take that hint... Or they would probably beat you to death with it while asking you, "why don't you love me?"...... Or something.
thelittlebirdie 9
2 reasons to take his advice: A) he obviously doesn't want to be with you. B) He's an idiot....
Vashen 5
Watch the movie "He's just not that into you"
Draxanoth 15
That's when you kick him in the happy fun bags and say "you hypnotized me into it!".
zingline89 18
Bags? Plural? :O
Pleonasm 35
Yea, for the other one is for the dick on his head, Zing ;)
chronosphere 18
poke him in the eye and shout its over sister!!!
Voldy_fml 16
Creative, I must say
kaycol 8
I noticed you didn't say ex
j_cat187 19
He will never escape his fate.
BostonBear 33
sounds like you need a new boyfriend anyways op
U_GotitDude 18
I'd say it's time to get out of the relationship before he succeeds in hypnotizing you into doing something else...
LovesSushi 25
Better than him trying to hypnotize you for constant blow jobs...
zandalee 19
That's one way to get Angelina Jolie's lips!
Pleonasm 35
Ah yes, the old "It's not you, it's me. Focus only on me. Listen to my voice. Follow my voice. Clear your mind. What can you see? You see a chicken clucking blissfully on a pasture. You are that chicken, not me. On the count of three you will cluck like a chicken and break up with me." It always worked for me.
Enslaved 36
Sounds like it's the boyfriend that's more of a chicken. :P
buckdharma 37
The mighty Pleonasm has spoken...You like what he said, you don't know why, but you really like it. Really, really like it. You will begin thumbing him up at the count of three. 1.... 2.......3.
Pleonasm 35
Of course it does sound like that Enslaved, but the whole trick is in cnvincing your GF that she is, not you ;)
RedPillSucks 31
Now look at the chicken, then look at your man. Sadly, your man is the chicken