Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
lishajoy777 14
Your Grandma is AWESOME!
zombieslayer83 19
Did pay the gas bill though!
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Comments (172)
lishajoy777 14
Your Grandma is AWESOME!
yoyoforpeace 14
Yeah I would die laughing if my boyfriend's grandma did that. Don't be embarrassed!
zandalee 19
Sounds like my mother in law! The first time I met her, we were outside the restaurant after a rather posh meal and she let rip. I fell in love with her then and there. The beginning of a pretty damn fine relationship! Don't be embarrassed OP, is all good.
dalink 24
How is it an FML for op?
Silver_89 9
That's the most epic grandmother ever! What an amazing sense of humor.
zombieslayer83 19
Did pay the gas bill though!
CheeseTron 15
Well at least the coffee should mask the scent.
buckerado 19
What if there were coffee grounds in the cup. Every single breath would burn like hell!
thetguy 4
This really doesn't deserve any comments due to how amazing this FML is already, I applaud your grandma my dear sir
Eluveitie 9
I wish my grandmother were like that when she was alive.
cutlass81 6
I fail to see this as an fml. Lol
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
Ok no hate comments pkease.. What does she mean the rent wasnt paid on time.. I dont fully understand.
hawright 13
She "kicked" the fart out because it didn't pay the rent on time.
BrandiLush 31
The fart didn't pay rent on time so it was evicted.
zephyre_fml 2
Awkward explaining ensues. The fart was just renting some space inside. It didn't pay the rent in time, so the gran kicked him out. Aka she farted. Quite a fast-thinking gran you have there, OP.
S182 15
Was the fart given a 30 day notice tho?
CheeseTron 15
H
Gainer_ 6
LMAO just think of where that notice would have to be posted...
CheeseTron 15
Sorry guys that was an accident.
disisDebosbike 2
Yea, without a 30 day notice gran is lucky she got to keep the safety deposit!
ShyAnn29 14
9, I didn't fully understand it either, so don't worry about it.
Pleonasm 35
I see only Win in this FML, just an old timer having a gas, enjoying life, if you ask me.
Tigerblossom 19
The girlfriend thought it was funny too so I don't really see a problem!
Metallica36176 16
That was going to be my question. Did coffee come out of his.girlfriends nose because she laughed so hard or because she freaked? First thought was that she laughed about it so its not really an FML?
SerpentBoy 8
Grams got nothing to be ashamed of... She's seen a lot of shit, and lived to tell about it.
SoSickWithIt 14
She's also passed a lot of shit.