Contrary to popular belief it's ignorant to be so confident in this "rule" that you don't bring your own money, I believe it was totally deserved in this case. This doesn't mean I don't believe the guy should pay though so don't get confused.

I agree with 24. Paying for the date should simply be a generous gesture, not an expectation. When girls do the asking, nobody seems to expect them to pay for the date. Equality goes both ways.

26: it says right in the FML that he asked her out. Other than that, I agree with you. On first dates I usually pay for myself.

14: I agree with you on not bringing the money. You can never be too careful. 24: "...who had asked me out on a date." Also, I said the person asking the other person out is the one who should pay, regardless of gender. But again, it's just my opinion. I don't see any sexism here.

Right I am sorry. But still the same opinion.

So if a girl asks you out on a date you expect her to pay you everything? Come on, let's be honest, you won't expect that.

the one who asks is supposed to pay you should never be that confident you don't bring money I mean he could pull out an expired two for one coupon and you'll end up paying.

47: I see where you're coming from. I need to change my wording to what 31 said. It's polite and a nice gesture. Saying "should" is a bit too much.

I think a lot of it I culturally too. I would always insist on paying for a date for a girl even if it's the first date but some girls don't want to be paid before, etc. but there's no requirement that it must be paid before for everyone. Boy the rest of that date must have been real awkward

She should always have "just-in-case" money.

Nobody said he went without her. He may have bought her a ticket later when he realized she didn't have money. Also, women are no longer allowed to assume that men will treat them to anything. I have never treated a girl to anything beyond ~$1 worth of candy. Not that I haven't tried, but I've been refused every time. Sometimes violently. Most of the time I don't even ask, anymore.

How do you violently refuse money?

In my experience whoever asks you out pays, and I normally offer to buy snacks and drinks.

I always believe in splitting the costs if the date is mutually desired. If it's clear that one side wants to impress the other, then they should at least insist on paying. YDI for expecting the guy to pay for everything, but FYL for the awkward moment of asking the guy to buy yours too.

124 Kick 'em in the shin, when they're holding the shin trip 'em.. Hog tie 'em, then shove the money in their mouth... That's the slightly amusing visual I got...

I'm still kind of unsure about this whole thing. Did he specifically say it was a "date" or did he just invite OP to a movie? I mean, I ask friends to go to movies with me all the time just because we both want to see it and it feels awkward going to a movie alone. It would be pretty hilarious if he just assumed OP knew they were just going as friends and OP assumed it was a date. Still, you should always have money in case of an emergency. Things can go wrong in a lot of different ways and then you're left high and dry because you didn't bring emergency funds. So, FYL OP, but you still deserve it. Leaving home without money for any reason is just dumb.

Would you like to go see a movie with me? Yes, but unfortunately I cannot afford to do so at this time. No worries, my treat. Assumption just got its ass kicked!

I'm sorry your life is shitty right now Adrian.

You know what happens when you assume

HE's "crush" not a "boyfriend". So from his point of view that could be "inviting FRIENDS to the movies". If he's a friend, he's not obliged to pay, unless it is somebody's birthday.

#1 in what century do you live in? I don’t expect a guy to pay for me when I get asked out. My now fiancé and I split the costs on our first date (we went for a meal and a movie) and he is a very generous man. However, I didn’t think it was appropriate to get free stuff because he got a date from me. I said yes because I liked him not for the free food. Just imagine if that rule had to apply when you’re a student and/or when you’re broke. Does that mean men are not allowed to date if they’re struggling for money?

The whole 'man should pay' thing comes from men wanting to show that they can provide for their partner. A lot of men I've met refuse to let the women pay for anything because they find it humiliating and emasculating.

# 244 Well these guys should grow a pair then. I don't associate manhood with splashing money.

If the guy asks, he pays, if the girl asks, she pays, that's my opinion anyways.

I always thought chivalry was the way to go. The guy "me" would pay for the lady way no matter what, unless she refuses and you pay down the middle. However, reading these comments, I guess chivalry is dead and will never come back.

255, I appreciate when the guy pays, but I don't automatically expect it.

Well, you can never be sure. Assuming can get you into trouble, it's very self-centered for the guy to only buy his own ticket, he did ask you out which would give you the impression he would pay. But OP should've brought a bit of cash just in case... That's what I would've done

Agreed

Even so, you always bring money on a date just in case. The fact that he only bought on ticket means he's an utter boor. The person who asks at a minimum offers to pay, in which case the person who is asked graciously thanks the asker and offers to get drinks (or, if they're going to dinner, to pay next time) or says, no, I got mine, thanks.

I always bring money when I get asked on a date. I also offer to pay for myself as well as the man. I've never once had to pay for a date but it's considerate to offer and not just assume. YDI for acting like a spoiled brat.

#255, I refuse to believe chivalry is dead. It's not, it doesn't just pertain to money. But to other sweet gestures like opening the door for ladies or offering a sweater if she's cold. Just treating the person well is all that should matter. If money's such a huge problem then maybe going out spending money is not the wisest thing to do.

Is is just me or does #63 sound like he's talking about a prostitute? I admit, it made me laugh.

#301 I couldn't agree with you more. Personally I don't see why it should pertain to money. Unless there is a vast discrepancy in what the two people earn then it might be a kind gesture. Expecting someone to pay for you because you are female is so absurd it's embarrassing. I couldn't respect, and therefore wouldn't date again, someone who had that expectation. That said, I like to make sweet gestures or pay for a meal with a credit card on the way to the bathroom without her even knowing. Not because I have to, but because I care enough that I enjoy the gift.

When anybody asks anybody (friend or SO) to join them to a movie or out to eat the person who asked should pay. Unless either person says anything like I only have enough money for me or something like that before hand. Though this conversation should have been had before time, it is perfectly logical for her to assume that he would be paying. But you should always bring emergency money for a taxi or whatever on a first date.

@312 I don't think she should have assumed that at all. I invite my friends for dinner and they pay for themselves, and when they invite me I pay for myself. The only time I've paid for a friend is if its their birthday or something.

On my first date with my now husband, he paid for movie tickets, I bought a soda and popcorn to split, but he was the one who asked me out. When we were dating, he would offer to pay, I would always offer to help, and he would either accept it or say he had it covered. It didn't matter who paid for the date.

Is that like a couch but comfier?

Depends on your comfort zone, it's actually a couch made out of doughnuts.

No you both have it wrong the douch is the female version of the gouch.

U know in the literal sense, a douche is a water head.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane! Nope, never mind. You missed it. It was just the joke.

I see this two ways. Yes if he is older (over 18 with a job) the yes I would expect him to pay the first date. But by how u described him as your crush you sound a bit young and maybe he doesn't have much money of his own to throw around on first dates. He may even have had to use his parents money to buy his own ticket. It all depends on the circumstances I guess.

Assuming is making an "ass" out of "u" and "me"

95 - Just you.

95 - what happened to the ing?

Yeah, that's one of Gibb's rules.

95: I was gonna comment that too, it's true, don't ever assume .-.

153--everyone already knows ing is an ass, no need to include him.

I should really read the previous comments.

I saw your pic and imagined that that was what the crushes face was like...

^I saw your pic and imagined OP's face was like that when he said no.

He sure did

Considering she said crush I'm guessing they're young. When I go to the movies with my girlfriend I've never expected her to pay for me.

So you can't have a crush on someone unless you're young?

Unless you're young you're probably not using the word "crush" - you'd probably describe them as someone you "like" or are "interested in".

I don't know some of the previous adult fmls have said my crush it could be everyone's personal preference.

He's a jerk because he didn't pay for her? Can someone please explain how that makes him a jerk?

paying for yourself should go without saying dont expect a man to do everything for you.

For real. It's 2013. Us girls should be more independent than that.

232 - Even if not more independent, at least less presumptuous!

Chivalry is almost dead..

Chivalry is not almost dead, its ignored do to stupid sexist acts or comments, chivalry is out there but over looked, the meaning of chivalry is whats lost

in my experience, chilvarly has been rare. but I was lucky to find a man who STILL after 2 years opens all the doors for me. that's a real gentleman for you

That was deep.

I open doors for guys and girls. Because politeness should go both ways. :P Also, chivalry? In this century? In THIS economy? Bahahhahaha, no.

I was raised to open the doors for women and its polite to hold the door for anyone. Chivalry is not dead it just needs(if you want it) to be retaught...

#44 chivalry isn't dead, it just followed wherever being ladylike went. not my quote, but I do agree with it, I hate all the drunk girls complaining about the douches their dating, fun thing is, they mainly complain to other guys. nothing is more amusing than hearing a girl complain about her boyfriend while making out with random dudes.

how did this get flagged down? whats so bad about what I said? damn

thanks!

Nothing's wrong with what you said. You're fortunate to have a guy that still opens doors for you after two years. I see nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, it's been almost 36 years and I still open doors for my wife, too. I still stand outside in the rain and hold the umbrella over her head while she walks to the car at six in the morning, too, even tho I don't have to get up for another hour and a half. I don't think it's chivalry so much as, I just love her very much. And your man loves you.

270- That sounds like a fairytale. You're a wonderful person. c:

that's probably the most intelligent statement I've read on here in a long time.

Rule of thumb is $20, even if you're not expecting to pay for anything. That's enough to cover your share of a stiffed bill most places, or bus/cab fare home if things go horribly wrong.

OP left her money at home, so going shopping won't be an option for her either.

She can go shopping any where if she has the five finger discount

If she can manage to five finger discount a 60'' flatscreen then she deserves the tv..

But, she doesn't have the money to pay for the windows.* *sarcasm