Love: Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still...

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 7 089

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 648

You deserved it 4 567

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 882

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 10 314

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 344

You deserved it 57 787

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 277

You deserved it 40 931

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 238

You deserved it 43 577

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 108 901

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 320

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 310

You deserved it 9 827

2random 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:50

lets just pray that u have not caught anything

cactusdesu 15

Monday 18 November 2013 17:02

Why don't you just give him an up vote rather than announcing that you like his comment?

Comments

2random 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:50

lets just pray that u have not caught anything

katieatieay 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:13

i know how you feel. i had a similar experience once, only i was the girl.

greenman_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:13

stupid *****. hopefully you got some last night

daisyree 2

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:36

#3 +1

cactusdesu 15

Monday 18 November 2013 17:02

Why don't you just give him an up vote rather than announcing that you like his comment?

wowomfglol 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 22:29

Morning breath?

katieatieay 0

Monday 9 February 2009 18:24

okay. if the girl doesn't like you, which she clearly doesn't, get over it and move on. you wouldn't make a happy couple anyway. she's probably a bitch, like most girls, so just be glad you got laid (maybe?) and forget the rest.

lolx7 5

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:55

yeah your right. obviously this girl is just someone who likes to **** you then leave. she is a bitch forget her! ( break out in song here I see you driving round town with the girl I love.......,