Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 35
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
larrena2377 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Smart kid! She's going places in life
canupls 6
yeah, not good places, but places
gramirez23 9
Future lawyer
ItsJustMe1616 26
Yeah kid is definitely going places lol Maybe to social services at that kind of a rate...
Kamon97 23
And get all the ice cream she wants :p
scooterdude720 19
Sounds like the "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!" FML
CyberGothic 16
Definitely going places. Like her room. Till she's 18.
TheyCallMeDamien 17
Nope future politician. The WMDs are right over there.
DJSKAMPER 4
she's going places not college but places
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
fortune789 17
Yeah, she wasn't lying. There was a dangerous stranger there and he tackled her mother.
ekaat11 17
Or the stranger tackled her father
ohcheriecherie 20
well, hopefully watching her dad get tackled because of something she did will teach the kid a lesson
katertott 44
Well if she found it entertaining, she'll learn to do this again, and again, and again...
Tratto 2
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
nk94 13
I'd do anything for ice cream too
MissStephanie 10
101, not if she gets a good ass whoopin when she gets home! My parents would never let me get away with anything like that when I was younger, and hell, I knew better.
Pleonasm 35
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
schhichick 14
she screamed stranger danger and the parent screamed from being tackled... for ice cream
lambda_fml 40
iScream.
WD_Stevens 22
There is actually an ice cream shop called Iscream near where I live. I thought it was genius (and the ice cream's pretty good as well)
ConstantlyAnna 8
Clearly one of the best comments. Ever!
Matttis 7
You are raising a damn genius! ^.^
Drake_The_Dragon 23
Ice cream.... Parents worst nightmare.
bleeping 5
That's from the show outnumbered.
pwnman 33
Seems like she was thinking - "I SCREAM, FOR ICE CREEEEEAM!".
Jiplo 18
I'll scream, they'll scream, if you don't get me ice cream!!!!
refticon 31
Better give her what she wants because she knows how to get it eventually OP
sweetbliss3 37
hope this is sarcasm. nothing like rewarding kids who do things wrong and reinforcing them to keep doing wrong bc they know theyll get what they want.
184886837272837 32
Listen to #14! You don't want to end up with a kid like Eric Cartman
Ashleefailsxo 4
What's OP mean?
KittyLahv 27
#82, On FML it means "Original Poster," which refers to the author of the post.
jgmarines 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
JuzReading 23
Don't think that really counts considering OP's daughter was taught to say it...
lee126 13
Jgmarines was saying a line from an old famous tv show staring Bill Cosby and random kids.
junkman6 22
That show is considered old.... That's it midlife crisis time. I already have to listen to "classic rock" or "oldies" to hear the music I grew up with. T-T
pjsr 32
You're both too young to know what you're talking about! Cosby had a show for a couple lackluster seasons, but it was a remake of an Art Linkletter show segment that was on for 25 YEARS. Rookies!
RedPillSucks 31
^This guy is really old!
DanielleinDC 33
All of a sudden, I'm hearing the line in the Bowling for Soup song wondering when Motley Crue became classic rock and when did Ozzy become an actor. What's really scary is when the Muzak you hear in your office building is the shit you grew up with.
queenofinsanity 4
actually it was a show starring Art Linkletter. Bill Cosby did the remake.
RedPillSucks 31
Not sure why #85 is being thumbed down. This is correct. I guess too few people are old enough to be aware of the first show. EDIT: I guess because it was a repeat of #40?
JuzReading 23
Blackmailed by your 4 year old haha what a little shit