Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wanted to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML
Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML
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Top comments
NessaMae 19
I would uh, say something to your boss OP. Looks like your co-workers going to lose you guys some business.
sandracore 15
you should tell your boss. this kid could be really traumatized now..
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Comments (71)
NessaMae 19
I would uh, say something to your boss OP. Looks like your co-workers going to lose you guys some business.
\ 28
Let's just be glad he didn't introduce them to Ted...
NessaMae 19
But Ted was sweet and cute once upon a time!
mFUNdo21 17
or pedobear
sandracore 15
you should tell your boss. this kid could be really traumatized now..
RedX1000FML 11
Welp, there goes her childhood...at an early age too....
speckledots 29
Probably also told them Santa wasn't real and tooth fairy money stems from parents lies. why not ruin everything all at once. Such an asshole.
ErinPinelli 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Build a bear workshop. I've got 13 build a bears :P
eddeeezzyy 19
Good for you. Wanna cookie?
trueblue170 13
Congratulations.
ErinPinelli 24
What kind of cookies?
RedX1000FML 11
I can offer some shut the fucupcakes if you want some.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I have one build the bear bears! u wana introduce them and we can have a tea party?
eddeeezzyy 19
40 - chocolate chip with a dose of weed for one hell of a craving experience.
dRpRdP 8
kids get bad impact of such misleading things. . shame on ur coworker
Carebeareatu 23
One way to mentally and emotionally scar children.
leena24 11
Wait...What? Are you saying they're not?!
Pwib 14
I guess you could say they found it unBEARable. You should tell your coworker to stuff it.
Schizomaniac 24
Not bad, but a small piece of advice, if I may: it isn't necessary to capitalize the pun. The second one was fine but the first one seemed like you were trying too hard. It's sort of like telling a joke and before ending saying "OKAY GUYS THIS PART IS THE PUNCHLINE GET READY FOR THE PUNCHLINE." But what do I know? I'm just a drunkard with nothing left to live for. *drinks self into oblivion*
StoryOfTheYear 14
Once you ingest considerable amounts of Nutella your mind just starts to say "**** it." to most laws and rules. He literally doesn't give a shit about what you and your weaksauce "alcohol" have to say.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
u should never drink yourself into oblivion.. unless you woke up late, got a speeding ticket, got broken up with ending the greatest relationship youve ever had, dog died, and someone robbed your house.
BreynHope 11
Some people are just not kid friendly (like myself) and that's okay, but don't choose a job where that's majority of clientele. Tell your coworker to get lost, OP.
j_729 18
I don't understand how people don't like children. You were a child once.
doglover100 28
I know a girl who babysits but doesn't like kids. Uhhhh why are you babysitting then?
BreynHope 11
To 39: It's not that I don't like children, I'm just not really good at talking to them on there level.. Kind of like op's coworker.
fantasyworld 37
56, I know what you mean. I like kids but there's the whole, what do they know and understand?
thatonegirlnic 10
Seriously, just because someone isn't happy with their life doesn't mean they have to ruin someone else's. People.
daisiebud 18
When I was little I told my younger sister that ketchup was made of cats blood. I kinda feel bad for that one actually.
alshygirl 14
Omg that's a good one. I told my sister when we were swimming in a lake that when she swam through a cold spot it was because a dead person was beneath her. It still freaks her out to this day.
rememberkids 14
There must be a lot of dead bodies in Allouette Lake then cause its ******* cold in the summertime.
aria78 19
I convinced my daughter marshmallows were made out of bug guts. I also convinced my teenage sisters that when your eyelashes fall out they never grow back.
ChoolyBooly 32
Yeah my sisters both teamed up to convince me that the black seeds in watermelons were sleeping baby beetles and that if I ate them they would wake up and reproduce inside me......I was four....and they are older by a few years. My mom had to get watermelon without seeds for about two years before my sisters confessed.